My quest to find a good, decent man is becoming epic in length. But I refuse to give up! So, here is the latest and greatest in my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating saga.
There once was a man who was prolific in poem and prose.
He had a quick wit. Let’s meet. Why not? Who knows?
Alas, his memory was lacking, he called me by the wrong name,
Despite me correcting him over and over. How totally lame.
Was this other woman his ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife?
I cared not, for I was cutting him out of my life.
The next eager bachelor was an eHarmonious man
Who unfortunately decided to try a product to self-tan.
Since he was not an Oompa Loompa, orange was an awful hue.
Why he did not realize this while looking in the mirror, I have no freaking clue.
However, it was his obnoxious behavior that upset me the most.
Being rude and insensitive caused him to end up as a jerk in this post.
Then there was a guy who promised me a special surprise.
When the big reveal occurred, I could hardly believe my eyes.
If I was watching a horror movie, I would have yelled for the girl to run.
Touring ramshackle buildings buried deep in the woods is not my idea of fun.
Any chemistry that might have existed was extinguished pretty fast.
What a huge letdown after being psyched up for an absolute blast.
After each date, to Mom, the obligatory email I did write,
So she wouldn’t be pacing the floor half of the night,
Worried that I was dead in a ditch or suffering an even worse fate.
“Home safe and sound.” Another zero of a date.
“A total waste of makeup,” is what I eventually would type.
It sums up the evening well without painfully boring details or hype.
So that, gentle readers, is all I have to tell.
Perhaps the month of October will cast an enchanting spell.
Could the eclipse of the blood moon help me find my “Mr. Right?”
Or will it bring more ghouls and goblins to give me an awful fright?
Those are the questions that I seek the answers for.
Stay tuned, my friends, you never know what’s in store!
Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal