The Twelve Days of Christmas, Match.com Style

     Christmas Greetings, dear readers! I was inspired today to write a satirical bit to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. I consider this tune to be part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series. Some material just seems to write itself!

12Days2

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Match.com Style

On the first day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
A bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the second day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the third day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Seven guys my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Eleven filthy pictures,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Twelve illiterate bumpkins,
Eleven filthy pictures,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

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5 thoughts on “The Twelve Days of Christmas, Match.com Style

  1. Great Suzanne, only you could write this… Just want to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Hope 2015 is a better year for your health. God Bless…..

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