Hello, friends! Welcome to another “Mis-Matched to Miss Match” episode. I know you were hoping this would be a good news post because I have not written in some time. Sadly, that is not the case.
The subject of today’s blog is a handsome 42-year-old professional. He was downright yummy. He was intelligent and funny, and we hit it off wonderfully. At the beginning, he was attentive and eager to please. He even sang to me while we slow danced. I was in heaven. It was a romantic dream come true! Slow dancing and singing! Just imagine it!
As time went on, I felt him pulling away. When I showed up for a date all dressed up, he did not say that I looked nice. I complimented him on how good he looked, and he just said, “Thanks.”
As the evening progressed, I knew something was really amiss. This bachelor and I had always been open and honest with our communication, so I decided I had to say something.
I said, “I’m a little confused. I need you to be more demonstrative. I don’t know what you’re thinking or what you’re feeling. I’m falling in love with you. But I have no idea what you’re feeling toward me.”
Dead silence. For what seemed an eternity.
Finally, he replied, “I’m happy and content. Can’t that be enough?”
Um, I don’t think so. I’m in love with you, and you’re just happy and content? I’m going to lose my mind.
I thought maybe there was something I could do to improve his “happy and content” status. I offered, “I’ve asked you to do that for me. What do you want me to do for you?”
He answered, “I wish you would appreciate silence more. It’s like you’re a radio talk show host, and you don’t want there to be any dead air time.”
Okey dokey then.
That is where that conversation ended. But he acted as if everything was fine and cuddled with me.
In the following days, I attempted to keep my side of the conversations shorter. I thought I did very well. But he pulled away even more. He stopped responding to my texts and stopped calling with no explanation.
That brings us up to yesterday. I started out with an almost flat tire. Thank goodness I got to the tire place before I did any damage to the wheel. Then that same car puked at Auto Zone. The battery died. Changing a car battery in a parking lot is just about the most fun you can have on a hot, humid summer day. And did I mention it would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary? Anyway…
Since the day was already lousy, and after two days of no communication from my boyfriend, I texted him, “Since you’ve been logging in to FB, but you haven’t contacted me in two days, I’m guessing you’re breaking up with me.”
He texted back, “It’s just not going to work. I have nowhere the time you need. I have no plans to get married anytime soon if ever…”
I will spare you all of the texting details. He went on to say that he thought he was over his ex-girlfriend, but he wasn’t. I had a feeling that was a big part of it. He started dating way too soon after his breakup.
The marriage issue would definitely have been a problem. I am not dating in order to date a man forever.
He texted, “I want you to know that this isn’t like there’s something “wrong with you”…This is a compatibility thing. I literally have very little free time and it was clear that I was not going to let go emotionally like you need.”
I have to admit he was right about being incompatible in the long run. Honestly, I don’t know how long I could have kept up the “be more quiet” thing. But the breakup still hurts. And I will miss the slow dancing and being serenaded.
Now I was late for my neighbor’s moving celebration. I put on my happy face and went. He and I moved into the neighborhood, with our former spouses, nineteen years ago. Now, I am the last one standing.
Huh. That seems to be a common theme these days. Well, I don’t want to give up. And after I take a moment or two for quiet reflection, I will move on, wherever the path may lead.
I will persevere—one way or another.
Text and photo – Copyright © 2016 by Suzanne Purewal