The Twelve Days of Christmas, With My Online Dating Twist

     Merry Christmas greetings to one and all! As part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series, I have penned yet another version of, The Twelve Days of Christmas, with my online dating twist. It’s destined to be a classic for sure!

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My Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
No man worth my membership fee.

On the second day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the third day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the fourth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the fifth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the sixth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the seventh day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the eighth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Eight uptight physicians,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the ninth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Nine dudes from Jersey!?!
Eight uptight physicians,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the tenth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Ten phony profiles,
Nine dudes from Jersey,
Eight uptight physicians,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Eleven sushi dinners,
Ten phony profiles,
Nine dudes from Jersey,
Eight uptight physicians,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Twelve political crackpots,
Eleven sushi dinners,
Ten phony profiles,
Nine dudes from Jersey,
Eight uptight physicians,
Seven smooth musicians,
Six guys wanting hookups,
Five guys who shave more of their bodies than I do,
Four fun days in Vegas,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

Copyright © 2016 by Suzanne Purewal

 

 

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