“Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” Will Be Released on June 3, 2017!

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The wait is over!

The book chronicling the saga of my online dating misadventures, Mis-Matched to Miss Matched, is being released this Saturday, June 3rd!

Thank you for following my bizarre dating escapades for the past four years. I know the question that remains on your mind is, “Did I give up, or did my perseverance finally pay off?” Continue reading

The Twelve Days of Christmas, With My Online Dating Twist

     Merry Christmas greetings to one and all! As part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series, I have penned yet another version of, The Twelve Days of Christmas, with my online dating twist. It’s destined to be a classic for sure!

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My Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
No man worth my membership fee.

On the second day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the third day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee. Continue reading

Asking for Support on Small Business Saturday

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     It’s Small Business Saturday! So I am asking you to support my business by purchasing my books. They make great gifts since they can be dedicated and personalized!
     By purchasing my romantic suspense novels or my poetry book via my website, not only are you helping out a starving author, but you’ll be contributing to help someone in need. This month, I am donating a portion of my book sales’ proceeds to the Save a Warrior program. This unique program helps people struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress. Continue reading

Author, Poet and Humorist, Suzanne Purewal

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     I will be appearing at the 67th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion, booth #303. I will be signing books every day of the show, running from Wednesday, November 9th through Sunday, November 13th.
     To honor our active duty military members, Veterans and first responders, I am also donating a portion of this month’s book sales’ proceeds to the Save A Warrior Program.

     What can I say about myself that you don’t already know? You know I’m a cancer survivor. I got downsized from my job several years ago. And the trilogy of doom was rounded out with that unexpected divorce.
     But I am still standing, despite the efforts of all of those evil doers! Obviously, I was meant to follow a different path.
     What path that is, I have no clue. There were a few times when I thought I knew. But time after time, I hit a major construction zone and was sent on yet another freaking detour because the bridge was out.
     I hated construction orange before this odyssey began. So imagine how I feel about it when I see it now!
     Portions of this journey have left me exhausted. It’s the nature of the beast. Walking uphill, both ways, in a blinding snow storm will do that to you. So will moving your parents from New York to Florida when you live in Indiana.
     I initially had grand writing plans for this year. But you all know that life happens while you’re making other plans. And that is exactly what happened to me.
     If you missed my posts on my family vacation and moving my parents, then scroll down to read them. You will laugh yourself silly.
     If you are short on time, the gist is that my parents are determined to kill me. And because I am a good daughter, well that and because of Catholic guilt, I let them keep trying.
     But you already knew that I was a glutton for punishment because I persist with online dating.
     But seriously folks, I continue on this strange and unpredictable journey because I can’t wait to see what happens next. And I am hopeful that you will stick around to experience it with me!

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     Last year, I released my latest romantic suspense novel, Challenging Destiny! It is the sequel to Embracing Destiny. The exciting adventure continues with some of your favorite characters – Sara Taylor, Joe Lazaro, and everyone’s favorite Italian mother, Rose Lazaro.
     Sara Taylor’s life is finally coming together. She feels at peace. However, Joe stumbles across a clandestine operation. Any leak would put him and his loved ones in danger. Still reeling from his discovery, a secret from Joe’s past rears its ugly head. Then the unthinkable happens – the worlds collide. Will this battle bring Sara and Joe closer together? Or will they become collateral damage in the fallout?

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     My first romantic suspense novel, Embracing Destiny, follows Sara Taylor – a woman standing at a crossroad. An unexpected event sets her on a journey. Outside forces intervene, and danger lurks in every shadow.

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     My poetry book, From 14 to 41, contains soulful poems that capture the essence of life. A blend of love, loss, whimsical and inspirational pieces, readers are drawn in as the raw emotions leap from the pages.
     My blog, the one you are currently reading, Pursuing My Passion, is an outlet for my unique storytelling style, sense of humor and sarcastic wit. The most popular posts are from my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series. The entries are all true stories based on my online dating adventures.

     In other news, I am the coordinator for the Local Authors’ booth for the Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. So, if you are an Indiana author and would like to participate next year, please let me know. As soon as this year’s show closes, I will be accepting applications for next year’s show.

Click here to purchase my books. I can sign and dedicate them prior to shipping. Right now, you can enjoy free shipping! So, get those Christmas gift lists started!

Kindle versions of Embracing Destiny and Challenging Destiny are available on Amazon

You can leave book reviews on:
FB: Suzanne Purewal, Author Page
Goodreads: Suzanne Purewal on Goodreads

Join Me In the Effort to Battle Post-Traumatic Stress

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     This November, I am doing something special. To honor our active duty military members, veterans and first responders, I will be donating a portion of my book sales’ proceeds to the Save a Warrior program. This unique program helps people struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress. Continue reading

The Sound of Silence

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     Hello, friends! Welcome to another “Mis-Matched to Miss Match” episode. I know you were hoping this would be a good news post because I have not written in some time. Sadly, that is not the case.
     The subject of today’s blog is a handsome 42-year-old professional. He was downright yummy. He was intelligent and funny, and we hit it off wonderfully. At the beginning, he was attentive and eager to please. He even sang to me while we slow danced. I was in heaven. It was a romantic dream come true! Slow dancing and singing! Just imagine it! Continue reading

100th Running of the Indy 500

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Apparently, I am the only person in the state of Indiana who is not attending today’s Indy 500. Don’t plan on watching it either. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’ll watch the highlights on the news.

I saw an interview with Jim Nabors this week. He stated he would fly here to sing, “Back Home Again in Indiana.” Organizers didn’t ask him. Instead, Josh Kaufman is singing it. Some of you are scratching your head. Josh won “The Voice” singing competition a couple years ago.

Nabors sang “Back Home Again in Indiana” at the track for most years from 1972 to 2014. Granted, Jim Nabors has had some health issues. But they still should have flown him here. It’s the 100th running of the race. And you could tell it meant a lot to him and he wanted to be there. Or they could have streamed him singing live from Hawaii. Okay, technically, it would be ironic to sing “Back Home Again in Indiana” from Hawaii, but Nabors is a staple. And I think everyone would have overlooked his physical location to keep with tradition. Because tradition is what today is about.

Florence Henderson isn’t singing either. Henderson sang “The Star-Spangled Banner,” “God Bless America” or “America the Beautiful” 23 times from 1991 to 2015. This year, she’s the grand marshal. It is a great honor. And at least she’s still included in the festivities.

Things and times change. I get that. And I don’t have a problem with that. I guess it’s just the irony of how they’re talking about “tradition this” and “tradition that,” and one of the most familiar and beloved voices of that tradition was slighted.

I’m sure Josh Kaufman and Darius Rucker will give fantastic performances. If they don’t, it will be one of the highlights on the news. If they do, perhaps, we’ll see them back next year, starting a new tradition.

The flag is about to be waved. So, if you’re at the track, slap on a lot of sunscreen, stay hydrated and have fun!

Not So Helpful Dating Advice

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     Hello, friends! As my quest for a boyfriend continues through my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series, many of you have offered well-intentioned advice. I appreciate that you all care enough to make suggestions. However, I believe some of the suggestions are slightly off the mark.
     The most common advice I have received is:
Continue reading

Harvest Day

     In honor of National Poetry Month, here is one of the poems I wrote in Fall 2011. I wrote this poem, Harvest Day, on one dark day early in my divorce journey.
Continue reading

Drunk and Drunker

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     Hello, Friends! Welcome to the ongoing saga of “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” Today’s dating tales of woe concern two men and their love affairs with alcohol.
     The first bachelor passed the email and phone call tests. When I met him, there were a few red flags, but he seemed fun and easy to talk to. So, against my better judgment, I went on several dates with him.
     He declared that he was working out 4-5 times a week, was living a healthy lifestyle and was going to lose more weight. He had already lost 100 pounds.
     Although I did not observe him making healthy food selections, it was his drinking that bothered me. He did not stop at one or two drinks.
     If you have been following me through this journey, you know I am a one-drink person when I am out, and I am the designated driver. I will not get into a car with someone who is legally drunk.
     During our last date, I met him at his favorite restaurant. This place carried a special type of wine just for him. I learned that on our first date. That was a red flag, but I chose to overlook it.
     He greeted me with a hello kiss. Then he proceeded to tell me how sick he was and how horrible he felt. The congestion in his chest was terrible. He held his chest and coughed. It sounded like bronchitis to me.
     Backing away, I reacted, “Yikes, no more kisses for you until you’re well.”
     He replied, “Oh, you’re one of those.”
     One of those? If you mean people who don’t want you contaminating them with all of your respiratory infection germs, yes, I’m one of those. Be considerate. Good Lord!
     I sighed as I sat across from him.
     Then he coughed and coughed, without covering his mouth.
     I am sure I cringed as I shifted to the right. At least that way he was not coughing directly on me. I mentioned that he should be coughing into his elbow.
     Eventually, he covered his mouth with his hand. But then he wanted me to hold that hand.
     Are you trying to get me sick on purpose?
     Thank God I had antibacterial wipes.
     While he enjoyed his third glass of wine, he saw I was agitated. He asked, “What’s on your mind?”
     Oh, buddy, you just asked the wrong question. I don’t think you really want to know. I’m thinking I’m going to catch this plague you have. And your drinking is bothering me. But since you asked…
      “The amount you drink bothers me. Every time we’ve gone out, except one time, you’ve had a lot to drink. Not just one or two glasses of wine, but multiple glasses. I’m concerned.”
      “I’m not an alcoholic.”
      “Do you drink every day?”
      “I usually don’t go out during the week.”
     Not sure what that had to do with the price of tea in China, I replied, “Well, I won’t ride with a person who’s legally drunk. If you’re always going to drink like this, I will always have to drive.”
     Defensively, he argued, “I am not drunk! Do I look drunk? Do I act drunk? Am I slurring my words?”
      “No.” Because you have built up a tolerance.
     He continued, “My friends drink hard liquor. I drink wine. It’s better. We’re here every Friday and Saturday night drinking at the bar. They drink hard liquor. I drink my wine.”
     Every Friday and Saturday? Drunk is still drunk, dude. Any cop will tell you that. So will a blood alcohol test.
     I stated, “It doesn’t matter what you’re drinking. Alcohol is alcohol.”
     “It’s just wine. And now you’re making me uncomfortable and self-conscious.”
     “Sorry, you asked, and I had to say something because it’s making me uncomfortable.”
     Dismissively, he responded, “You’re making something out of nothing. I’m not an alcoholic. You don’t drink wine, so you don’t understand.”
     What’s there to understand? Wine contains alcohol last time I checked.
     Then he stopped the waitress and asked her for another glass of wine.
     Are you freaking kidding me? Way to show me you don’t have a drinking problem.
     She emptied the contents of the bottle into his glass. This was glass number four.
     As he drank, I got the “you’re not the boss of me” look and vibe.
     I shook my head and ate my dinner.
     I am not trying to be the boss of anybody. But drinking and driving is a serious issue. And I do not want to be with someone who drinks to excess all the time.
     Then he said, “Next you’re going to tell me I can’t ride my motorcycle without a helmet.”
     Heavy sigh.
     Annoyed, I said, “No, you can do whatever you want.”
     Obviously, because nothing I say matters anyway.
     After he drained his glass, he asked the waitress for yet another glass.
     She answered, “I emptied the bottle last time. Do you want me to open a new bottle for you?”
      “Yes.”
     If you are counting with me, this was glass number five.
     Finally, dinner was over.
     After that evening, my texts to him were short.
     He texted, “So I’m assuming by your lack of communication and enthusiasm, you’ve lost interest and can’t get over my evil wine drinking ways.”
     You guessed right! That and your complete disregard for my welfare by spewing all over me and for not understanding why I would not want to put my life into the hands of someone who was legally drunk.
     I wrote, “You disregarded my concern completely. I understood finishing the glass in front of you. Then you had her open another bottle. And you got defensive and dismissive. I can’t handle being with someone who drinks 5 glasses of wine in that short amount of time and disregards my feelings.”
      “Actually it was 3 glasses and that hardly makes me an alcoholic…I wasn’t trying to dismiss you by ordering another glass but I was trying to make a point that I’m 52 years old and I’m pretty set in my ways.”
     I was not going to argue about the number of glasses or about anything else for that matter. I was drinking water and clearly counted five glasses of wine.
     So that was the end of that!

     A friend attempted to help me in my quest for “Mr. Right.” She invited a friend, an extremely wealthy businessman, to meet us for drinks and a light dinner. We were sitting at the bar when he showed up three sheets to the wind.
     Obviously, that was extremely disappointing, in and of itself.
     And did I mention that he looked older than my parents? So, he had nothing working in his favor.
     I was polite at first. But after I had heard the exact same story for the third time, I was mentally done. I tried to ignore him the best I could, but he kept hanging on me.
     I caught the eye of a young, handsome guy a few seats away. I gave him my “help me” look. He laughed and looked away.
     Damn!
     Without another option, I disappeared to the ladies’ room. And I stayed in there entirely too long. When I returned, “Tipsy” was sitting in my chair.
     Thank you, Jesus!
     I quickly sat next to the handsome guy.
     He looked up at me and smiled.
     I smiled back. “I need you to save me.”
     “I know. I saw the look.”
     Exasperated, I threw up my hands. “But you didn’t save me.”
     “Trust me, we’ve got your back.”
     “Who’s ‘we’?”
     “As soon as you left for the bathroom, I watched your drink. I was convinced that guy was going to put something in it.”
     “Really?”
     “Yes. He looks like that kind of guy. A real creeper.”
     I laughed.
     He continued, “And the bartender is watching out for you too. And the piano guy hasn’t taken his eyes off you all night.”
     “Good to know I’m covered. Thank you.”
     “Don’t mention it.”
     He wore a wedding band.
     Of course, the gorgeous ones are always married!
     I said, “I know that you’re married, and I’m not hitting on you. I just need someone to talk to until he leaves.”
     “No problem.”
     We had a nice conversation. And when his wife and teenage daughter showed up, he introduced me to them. He explained the story. His daughter got wide-eyed when he said he thought the guy was going to drug my drink.
     Glad I could provide a teachable moment. Hopefully, she’ll remember this when she goes to parties.
     This nice family even asked me if I wanted to join them at a booth for dinner.
     “No, thank you. I don’t want to intrude.”
     “If you change your mind…”
     I shook their hands. “Thank you.”
     My friend and Tipsy went out to smoke.
     The bartender said, “You look like you could use that dessert now.”
     I nodded. “Yes, please.”
     I ate my chocolate dessert and talked to the bartender and the pianist.
     Finally, it was time to leave.
     My leather jacket was on the back of the businessman’s chair. He insisted on helping me with it.
     As he slipped on the coat, he commented, “Oh, the leather is so soft.”
     Then he reached around and grabbed my right breast.
     Let me tell you something, dear readers. I have never, ever hit anyone. But at that moment, I really wanted to hit him.
     It took every ounce of strength I had within me not to hit him.
     I hear you screaming, “Why the hell not? Hit him! Slap him! For God’s sake, knee him!”
     I was almost a head taller than him. He had been drinking steadily since he walked in. So, he was drunk as a skunk and unsteady on his feet. And I knew that if I hit him, his sorry geriatric ass would go down hard, very hard. And with my luck, he would have broken a hip. Then he and his army of lawyers would have had me arrested.
     Friends, I would not do well in jail. Not for a single minute.
     Instead, I will let karma take care of him. He will get what’s coming to him in the end.
     In the meantime, I might kill him off in one of my books. Or not. I guess you will have to buy my next novel to find out…

If you or a loved one has a drinking problem, please get help. Here are a few organizations that can help you on the path to wellness.

AA http://www.aa.org/
Al-Anon http://www.al-anon.org/
SADD http://www.sadd.org/

Copyright © 2016 by Suzanne Purewal

Calling All Indiana Authors!

Greetings Fellow Indiana Authors!

I am the coordinator for the Local Authors Booth at the 67th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, Wednesday, November 9th – Sunday, November 13th, 2016. We still have author slots available.

The show will be held at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion, 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205.

This venue has been very successful over the years for local authors to sell their books.

You may sign up for as many time slots as you wish. The prices are: $75 per author, per time slot. The fee includes a linen-covered 5 ft table, one chair, storage space, the website feature, an author’s badge, an exhibitor helper’s badge, a parking pass, and two tickets for friends/family. The badges and parking pass are good for free entry for the entire five days of the show. If you need an extra chair, there is a one-time $10 charge.

If you are interested in participating in this event, email me at purewalpublishing@gmail.com, and I will send you the application form.

Although I will accommodate as many authors as possible, there is limited space.

I look forward to working with you! If you have any questions, please contact me.

Thank you!

Suzanne Purewal

A Shape-Shifter, a Sex Addict and a Dominant Male Sign In To Match

     Many of you wondered if I cancelled my Match subscription. Yes, I did, for a little while. But like a moth to a flame, I went back. Some of the old faces were still there. But there was also a new batch of men from which to choose. So, today’s “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” installment will be about the new breed of guys on Match.

     First up is a man claiming to be 50. However, he looked more like 65.
     In his first e-mail, he said, “Science and technology are also a substantial part of my life, I’m on my third 3D printer as well as having machining capabilities in my garage. I do have one minor abnormality I should probably tell you about antlers yep antlers thought they were horns but they fall off every spring. Kind of sucks in the fall I have to stay in, damn hunters. I like watching football so it’s not all bad. Right now I look perfectly normal but in a month or so they’re start to grow back. I’ve had people think there were tumors but nope antlers. It could be worse just ask my brother Rudy.”
     Do I want to know what he is making with those 3D printers? What’s frightening is that he actually wore out two of them, so he is on his third. Ponder that a minute.
     As far as shape-shifting into a reindeer is concerned, reindeers do not turn me on. If he had said he could morph into a unicorn, then that would have piqued my interest. I could have definitely made it work with a unicorn!

     The next unlucky bachelor was 60 and lived in Florida.
     “Your profile is very intriguing…but you might be too young and immature for me.”
     I agree with the young part. The insult on my maturity was uncalled for. Do women respond to that? Does anyone? Oh, the things I wanted to write! But I took the high road.
     I responded, “Thank you for your interest. But the age difference would be an issue. I wish you luck finding a match.”
     “Same to you. The age diff would likely be an insurmountable challenge. Maybe you will mature. Or not…likely.”
     I think I will call him a “verbal abuser.” That guy has issues. I can only imagine what insults he would hurl in person.

     The next bachelor’s profile stated he was 48. In reality, he was over 50. He admitted that during our first phone call. He said no one responded to him when he claimed his real age. He also told me that he had an additional child that he did not include in his profile. His older kids were teenagers. But he had a fling with a 20-something and now has a toddler too.
     He boasted about his high IQ and his accomplishments. His accomplishments were many, and I believe he will continue to contribute to his field of study and beyond.
     However, things went askew during the second phone call when he started telling me about his sex life. Brace yourself, people.
     He claimed to have had sex with over 300 women. No, that’s not a typo. He liked having a harem. Back in the day, he had approximately ten women in his harem at a time. They all knew about each other. So, in his mind, that made it acceptable.
     He stated, “I expect sex on the first date. My success rate is 87%.”
     Stunned, I answered, “I would never have sex with someone on a first date.”
     “Then you wouldn’t get a second date.”
     “That’s fine because I wouldn’t want to go out with someone who demands sex before we even know each other.”
     He bragged, “And I never use protection. I’m allergic to latex.”
     Disgusted, I replied, “I can’t even imagine all of the diseases you have or have had.”
     He shrugged it off. “Nothing that a pill or a shot in the ass couldn’t fix.”
     Repulsed, I said, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
     Then he admitted, “Well, I do have herpes. But everybody has herpes.”
     I argued, “No, they don’t! I don’t have herpes!”
     Nonchalantly, he commented, “It’s nothing anyway.”
      Oh. My. God!
     Then he decided to tell me the craziest thing he had done sexually.
     Trust me, it was bad. Really bad. Gross, disgusting bad. Bad enough to make my body involuntarily shiver as I covered my mouth in disgust. I am glad I heard it over the phone. I can only imagine what my reaction would have been in person.
     When I refused to meet him, he got really angry. I was worried of catching something just being in the same room with him.
     The next “conversation” was via texting. He proceeded to insult me at length and used statistics to justify his generalizations about me. He pontificated on and on about how I was the one with problems, not him.
     I argued, “You’re way off base. I’m not an ice princess nor am I mentally ill. I’m just not interested in being part of your wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am harem club.”
     Ignoring me, he continued, “I know my assessment of you is correct. I can base my conclusions on my experience. Since my sample size is so large, statistically, my results and conclusions are valid.”
     I pointed out, “But the women you attract are not a good cross-section of the entire female population. Your results are skewed because of it.”
     “No. I’m always right about women.”
     And that was the end of that.
     The irony was that I felt sorry for him. Several women in his life disappointed him early on. The trend continued, and in essence, broke him. He was unfulfilled and angry at the world. Believe it or not, I did say a prayer for him. He is never going to be happy travelling down the road he is on. I hope he eventually finds peace.

     The last bachelor in today’s episode was an artist.
     His first e-mail read: “Marry me.”
     Jokingly, I replied, “If you didn’t have dogs, I’d consider it.”
     “I don’t have dogs. It’s a typo.”
     Technically, it was not a typo. You have to pick a selection from a menu. If you do not have pets, you skip the section.
     Then he sent me a list of his deal breakers:

     “Heres my deal breakers….what are yours?
     1.) Alpha personalities (which are usually validated through tough ., hypervigilance, and worldly experience) then usually manifest out into a reactionary temperamental disposition which culminates in “not so good” communication, hurt feelings, and an emotional withdrawal from the gentle, nurturing, tenderness and understanding that a relationship needs to galvanize a good foundation.
     2.) Country Music (love the lyrics, don’t like the redundant “twang”) i.e. it’s too “traditional” and not “out of the box-ish”.
     3.) Tacky low-rent tattoos
     4.) Competitiveness
     5.) OCD ( obsessive-compulsive disorder
     6.) Manics and hypomania
     7.) A foul mouth (the “f” word etc)
     8.) Slow-progressive-placated functional alcoholism (when a person is slowly on their way to an addiction through self -medicating with liquor).
     9.) Anything KARDASHIAN. (The Kardashians represent a very self-entitled, self preserving, materialistic, ostentatious way to be as a human being.)
     Everything else I can work with …………….. giggles”

     I admit, I agree with most of the items on his list. However, the two that were issues for me were “alpha personalities” and “competitiveness.”
     He sent me a link to an article he wrote about women. He wrote, in part, “…one of the most revealing and toxic awakenings in our culture today: The emergence of the Alpha personality in women and it’s pervasive influence in the symbiotic growth of the union of woman and man.”
     Wow! And double wow! I just got thrown back to the 1950s. And the editor in me wanted to correct his errors, but I left them.
     I did not lose to boys on purpose when I was young, and I am certainly not going to start doing that now.
     I was taught to always do my best. That way you challenge yourself and others. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Not everyone goes home with a trophy. It also taught us sportsmanship and how to win and lose gracefully.
     The competitor in me could not resist responding to the notion of acquiescing at all times. I typed, “As far as being competitive goes, I won’t lose to a man on purpose. If a guy’s ego is that fragile, then he’s not for me.”
     I knew his reply would be negative because I was goading him. Oh, shame on me!
     “i really dont care for your statement … this tells me theres an unecessary competitive streak in you that im not gonna dig. ..take care”
     That is perfectly fine by me because the last time I checked, the year was 2016.

     I believe that some friendly competition is perfectly acceptable in any healthy relationship. Remember to always celebrate each other’s strengths and triumphs. Do not dwell on the negatives or weaknesses. Build each other up!
     To borrow the Army’s old slogan, “Be All That You Can Be.” Life is too short to do anything else.

Copyright © 2016 by Suzanne Purewal

When Will I Be Loved?

broken-heart-clip-art-635689     Whether you prefer the Everly Brothers’ version or Linda Ronstadt’s version of the song, the question remains the same—when will I be loved?

     Originally, this was slated to be my very last “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” article. I even completely cancelled my Match subscription. But, life happened as I was making plans, and I had to change the title, the content, and sadly, the ending.

     First up was a bachelor who proudly proclaimed he was into minimalistic living.
     I replied, “Okay. I can deal with that. I don’t need a bunch of electronic gadgets or toys. I’m content with what I have now.”
     Then he declared, “I will never live in a house again. Ever.”
     At first, I thought he was kidding. I laughed. “But if the woman you married had a house, then you could move into her house.”
     “No. I will never live in a house again, no matter who owns it.”
     Huh? He can’t be serious. “So, you’d rather pay rent and have nothing to show for it? Even if you have a viable alternative?”
     “I’m committed to minimalistic living.”
     At that point, he showed me a picture of the living space in his apartment. There was one chair and a lamp. That’s it. Nothing else. I’m assuming there was a bed somewhere. Perhaps not.
     I commented, “There’s no place for visitors to sit.”
     “I don’t want visitors. Ever.”
     Shaking my head in disbelief, I said, “I have visitors a few times a year.”
     “No. I won’t allow visitors.”
     “It’s just my parents.”
     “No. Visitors don’t ever leave.”
     “My parents do. They have busy social lives. They don’t want to stay here.”
     “No. No visitors ever.”
     “They’re my parents.”
     “No. No exceptions.”
     Then, he finally admitted that he was unemployed. That might explain the whole minimalistic living thing. It was more out of necessity than principle.
     Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are times in one’s life where living in an apartment or a condo makes sense. I’m not at that point yet. I like the peace, quiet, and privacy of a house. No noise from upstairs or downstairs neighbors. I like independent living. Thank you, very much.

     My next suitor was a daredevil and a party animal. He was the most ruggedly handsome guy I had agreed to meet thus far. He entertained me with lots of stories about drinking, drugs, and death-defying feats. I could have done without some of the drinking and drug stories. However, the daredevil stories were fascinating. I was impressed he’d lived this long. But I am not looking for Evil Knievel.

     The gentleman who followed was the polar opposite of Mr. Knievel. He was nice, polite, and conservative. But he was as boring as they come. I do not go on dates to hear myself talk. I want the guy to tell me about himself, engage in a conversation. How can I get to know someone if he does not speak? He was the king of awkward silences. Check, please!

     Next up was a bachelor who had interesting ideas concerning food. He was thinking about becoming a vegetarian. That’s fine with me, although, I would not become one myself. Granted, I do not eat a lot of meat. But every once and awhile, I need a nice juicy steak!
     As the conversation progressed, he said, “If we live together, you can’t have chocolate or sweets in the house.”
     Wait. What? I can’t have chocolate in my own house?
     I pictured myself sneaking out of the house under the cover of darkness. I would wear a black trench coat and escape to a clandestine meeting with a perfect, medium-cooked filet mignon and a warm, gooey, decadent chocolate dessert.
     My car’s glove box would be under lock and key. I would have installed a temperature controlling device to prevent my Hershey’s bars (with almonds) from becoming misshapen melted blobs. Oh the humanity!

     Lest I forget, let me throw in a not-so-random observation. Fall must be the time of year for men to be exhausted and take mandatory naps. Three, count them, three different guys fell asleep during dates while watching movies. I am not referring to a quick head nod. I am talking about deep sleep, complete with snoring. Hard to discuss the movie afterward when one of us slept through it. Anyway…

     Late in the year, I thought I had finally found “The One.” He was everything I had dreamed about and prayed for. He was good-looking, kind, fun-loving, generous, and financially secure, among other things. And did I mention he was hot? God had finally answered my prayers.
     I liked his kids, and they liked me. And I quote, “She is the best one we’ve ever met.”
     High praise coming from a teen and pre-teen. When they hugged me, they meant it. They were not giving me the “I’m being forced to hug you” type of hugs. They were great kids. Everything was picture perfect.
     The two of us went on a vacation. It was fantastic, and we had a great time. Or so I thought.
     A few days after we returned, he called me on the phone and broke up with me. Just like that. Out of the blue. No indication of any issue or problem prior to the phone call.
     He said, “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t say or do anything wrong. It’s me. I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. I thought I was ready. But I’m not. I’m sorry.”
     Stunned and dumbfounded, I asked, “Do you want to slow things down and not see each other as much?”
     His answer was plain and simple. “No. I just want to end it. I’m sorry.”
     I will spare you the crying details and the amount of Kleenex I went through.
     So, here I sit with a broken heart. Again.

     As I mentioned in the beginning, this was intended to be the last article in my dating series. I completely cancelled my Match membership because we had discussed marriage.
     I apologize to you, dear readers. There’s no way for me to make the last section funny and entertaining. Because it’s not.
     However, I am choosing to look at the bright side. The relationship was wonderful while it lasted. And I got a really great vacation out of it.
     So, I will leave you with the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson: “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Copyright © 2016 by Suzanne Purewal

It’s Hard to Be Arm Candy

     Welcome to the next installment of “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” Today’s story involves a bachelor about whom you have already read. I believed he was worth a second chance. However, that chance was short-lived. It was nice while it lasted.
     In life, timing is everything. Right now, he admitted his schedule is not conducive to dating. That is a gross understatement. And so, he broke my already-wounded heart.
     I will not say anything bad about him. He is a great guy, and he apologized. We are still friends. So this article is more about my experience at this party than about him.
     I never revealed to him how I felt. So, it might surprise him if he reads this. As the saying goes, if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. But, hell, I write a blog, so I have to write something!
     This bachelor and I attended a large social function together. The food was fantastic, and the live band was really good.
     As the event progressed, everyone seemed to be having a wonderful time. Everyone except for me, that is.
     Let’s say this event was industry-specific. And honestly, it is a field in which I have little interest. Normally, I would make small talk. That’s easy enough to do, right? People are people. Lord knows I can talk about anything. However, the other attendees were not into small talk. They were laser-focused on their field. Period.
     When I was introduced to people, they seemed disinterested since I was not part of their “inner circle.” The only question I received from a few of them was, “Do you have any children?” When I answered, “No,” that was the end of the conversation. Seriously. End of conversation. They turned to engage someone else in a discussion. Time is money. Money is time.
     What planet am I on that the only question anyone wants to ask me is that one? I have no children. Ergo, I am not worth talking to. Yikes!
     I have a lot to offer, thank you, very much. I have plenty to say and have a myriad of great stories, just ask me something else. Anything else!
     I felt as if I had developed a superpower instantaneously—I became totally invisible! Since I did not add any perceived value, I was not worth their time.
     Mind you, I had an opinion of what they were discussing, but since I was not a player, my opinion would not have mattered. So, I kept my mouth shut. Picture that if you can.
     For some time, I smiled and paid attention to the discussion. However, as time wore on, I surrendered. I allowed my mind to wander as I smiled and nodded at what seemed appropriate times.
     I watched a child torment a bug in the grass. I saw an older man nod off, only to have his wife poke him and wake him up. I watched one of the waiters fill cups of lemonade and iced tea and line them up on a table. He dutifully replaced them when a guest would walk off with one. There were twenty-one cups. I wondered why he did not choose an even number.
     I spotted a trail that went off into a wooded area. I desperately wanted to slip away and explore where the path led. But I decided that would be in bad form. Instead, I remained glued to my seat.
     Then, I counted the tent poles and estimated the tent to be approximately 1300 ft x 40 ft. I did not hazard a guess on height because of the varying heights from the edges to the center. If I had a pen and paper, I might have been able to figure it out mathematically. Not. I was not that bored!
     In all of my forty-six years, this is the first time I have ever been excluded to the point that I felt like arm candy.
     Good Lord, being arm candy is a tough job! I had no idea! And I didn’t even suffer through a boob job, tanning sessions, liposuction, or Botox injections.
     As a child, my parents always told me I could do anything. Well, I learned in first grade that I would never be a gymnast or an athlete of any kind. Obviously, over the years, I discovered other things I could not or would not do. Being arm candy just got added to the list. Pole dancer is on that list too. But I will save that story for my next blog article.

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal

Featuring Photographer Michael Ahlrichs

     Today I am featuring a guest blogger, photographer Michael Ahlrichs. I recently came across some of his work and found it to be breathtaking. I asked him if I could feature him and he agreed. I hope you check out his work at http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/michael-ahlrichs.html or on Instagram https://instagram.com/michael_ahlrichs/

     This is one of my favorite photos in his collection. It’s entitled, Divine Reflection. divine-reflection-michael-ahlrichs

     Here is Michael’s story in his own words.

     As an iPhone photographer, I am compelled to tell a narrative, a representation of my recent journey in life. My story documents a path that has taken me from hopelessness and despair, fueled by addiction, to a being whose life has blossomed into one of joy, hope and restored faith in God.

     God has breathed new life in me, a divine spark. He has inspired my eyes and my spirit. Through this transformative nudge from God, I have the desire and responsibility to explore the beauty of His divine tapestry, and capture it through my lens.

     My photography was once a solitary practice, fearful of judgment and inferiority. Through my awakening, I now believe that my talents and experiences are intended to be shared, and maybe even offer hope to someone else who may be struggling.

     Now that my eyes and spirit have been awakened, my faith restored, and my addiction and fear overcome, I share with you my journey through my lens.

Cocktails With Chaos

Cocktails with Chaos
It’s the last call on my ride with chaos. What have I done, concocting my life in this giant, rusted tumbler?

Awakened

Awakened
The gates have opened; it’s time to cross the threshold. My dreams are now accessible. With my mind, body and spirit arisen from the nightmare, clarity and purpose lie ahead.

The Path

The Path
A beautiful garden awaits me if I merely follow the path. Peace and serenity are steps away.

The Promises

The Promises
I have faith that this is the right path. I follow this path so that I may continue to be happy, joyous and free. It is a glorious and inspiring path, full of miracles.

Profile photo

     To discuss my IPhone photography techniques or my recovery, you may contact me at michael.ahlrichs@gmail.com.

My Big, Fat Greek Tragedy

MasksComedyTragedy     If there was any doubt that my life is a Greek tragedy in the making, this episode of “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” should solidify the notion in everyone’s minds.
     This installment’s bachelor is a well-known businessman in this area. So, all I will say is that he was in his early 50s and had blond hair and blue eyes.
     Initially, when he contacted me, I turned him down. One of the descriptors in his Match profile did not sit right with me. And I explained in my reply that descriptor was why I was turning him down.
     He wrote me a long email in return, clarifying his position and dispelling any incorrect impressions I had. His arguments were good ones. So, I agreed to talk to him.
     We talked and hit it off. We wanted to meet. However, he was in Florida vacationing with his kids. We would meet when he returned. Despite him being on vacation, we spoke every day.
     Then, my dad had a heart attack. So, I was driving to New York as this intriguing man was about to drive back to Indiana.
     God just loves messing with me.
     My potential suitor understood, and we kept talking on the phone.
     Finally, we were in the same city at the same time. So, after talking for almost three weeks, we met for dinner. We got along splendidly. Our likes and dislikes were the same in just about all areas, including politics and religion. That, in and of itself, was amazing.
     He grew up on the East Coast, just like me. Loved to travel. Loved live theater and musicals! Yes, musicals! Where had he been hiding all of this time?
     Well, most of the time, he was working, networking or attending his kids’ activities. He had the busiest calendar I had ever seen. He could not plan out more than a week ahead because meetings and events were constantly being added to his schedule by his assistant and his kids. But he swore he would make time for me. And he did try.
     In the days that followed, we talked for hours on end, about everything and anything. The conversation never got stale or boring. The more we got to know one another, the more perfect we seemed for each other. The similarities were uncanny.
     Drinking and smoking were not issues. Awesome!
     His children were older. Another bonus.
     He had no pets and had no intention of ever owning one. Thank you, Jesus!
     Pinch me already!
     Anyway, everything was going pretty well until it was time to meet his friends. That’s when the bottom dropped out.
     While Mr. Seemingly-Perfect did not have any pets, every single one of his friends did. These friends were his work colleagues as well as his personal friends. He spent almost all of his time with these people. And from what he told me about them, they were the best friends a person could ask for. I’m sure I would have agreed.
     But the conundrum was that they all entertained in their houses. You know, where the animals lived.
     If you have not read my previous posts on the subject, my allergic reaction to animals is anaphylactic. So, I can not be around animals. Extended exposure to them could literally kill me.
     Meeting his friends out at a restaurant would have been fine. I suggested that. But in the long run, that would not have been feasible or sustainable, as they all loved to entertain at their homes. Each had an elaborate backyard oasis, fire pit, and/or boat, etc.
     Then there was his buddy’s lake house. I absolutely love lake houses because I love sitting by a lake, looking out at the water and listening to the water lap up on the shore. And there’s nothing quite like watching the sun rise or set over the water.
     That’s one of the biggest things I miss about living in New York. I really miss being close to a large body of water. Growing up minutes from Lake Ontario was a luxury I did not fully appreciate until I moved to Indiana, land of small, man-made lakes. But I digress…
     Alas, there were always animals at his buddy’s lake house. The owner brought his pets and allowed everyone to bring their pets too. Well, just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.
     I could not in good conscience ask him to pick between me and his friends. He’s known some of them for over twenty years. If I kept him from them, he would become resentful. And I would feel guilty.
     And if he always went over to his friends’ houses and to the lake house without me, I would become resentful. And presumably, he would feel guilty.
     We discussed the situation rationally. No compromise was suitable, and he picked his friends.
     I will not lie. I am extremely disappointed. But let’s face it; I could never compete with them, the lifestyle to which he had grown accustomed, the boats and the lake house.
     How pitiful is that? We can’t have a relationship because of other people’s pets.
     Heavy sigh.
     Animals are truly the bane of my existence.

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal

Dysfunctional Dates Abound

dysfunction     This is another dysfunctional installment of my online dating series, “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” Polite social interaction appears to be going the way of the dodo bird. There is no good way to ease into this, so, let’s jump right in!

     The first bachelor, a 54-year-old IT professional, passed the email test, but failed the phone conversation test miserably. During the course of the conversation, he brought up the subject of sex.
     He clearly stated his view on the subject, and I quote, “By the third date, a woman should be ready to give up the goods.”
     Where do I start with this? Even if this guy bought me three very expensive dinners at St. Elmo’s, I would not consider that appropriate criteria to have sex.
     And goods??? I’m sure he would have wanted the entire package of “goods and services.” Let’s face it, in the sex department, the goods aren’t quite as enjoyable without the accompanying services.
     Nevertheless, this girl and her “goods and services” are worth a lot more than three dinners, even if decadent desserts are included!

     Next up was a 52-year-old executive at a large company in Indianapolis. He actually passed the phone interview, but live, he was a completely different person.
     I have nicknamed him, “The Negative Bachelor.” The restaurant was too warm. The fire made the air too dry. He asked the waiter questions about the precise origin of the seafood. The poor kid had no idea.
     Dude, if you want the salmon, order the freaking salmon.
     Then he substituted the sides. Not because of an allergy or health reason, but because, “the chef obviously doesn’t know how to pair sides with entrees.”
     When the food arrived, he complained that his potatoes were too lumpy. The carrots were too soft, the squash was too hard. His chardonnay was not as good as the chardonnay he had last week.
     My mahi-mahi, wherever it was from, was fantastic. I loved my lumpy mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables.
     To my surprise, he insisted on ordering dessert. Why? I don’t know. He did not enjoy the rest of the meal. So, I did not understand why he wanted to perpetuate the experience. He ordered cheesecake.
     Guess how that turned out.
     It was not as good as the cheesecake he had had in New York City the previous month.
     I gazed into the fire, which under different circumstances might have been romantic, and attempted to drown myself in the chocolate dessert I ordered. It was delicious. I scraped my plate to savor every drop of chocolatey goodness. Alas, not even the chocolate could make up for the bad company.

     A well-intentioned friend set me up on a blind date with a guy she knew. He was my age, and he looked okay in a picture she showed me.
     He walked into the restaurant wearing a baseball hat, chomping on a piece of gum. The hat never left his head. And the gum chewing was distracting, to say the least. Finally, he took the gum out of his mouth. My praise to God was short-lived.
     There are a myriad of things you can do to dispose of chewed gum. You could dispose of it prior to meeting your date for the first time. Or, you could excuse yourself to the men’s room and throw it away in there. Or, you could dispose of it in a napkin.
     Did he do any of those? Unfortunately, no.
     Instead, he removed the gum from his mouth and stuck it on the side of his drinking glass. Then, he proceeded to play with the gum like it was Silly Putty. And when he was finished eating, wait for it — he put that same piece of gum back into his mouth.
     I can only imagine that the look on my face mirrored the utter and complete dismay and disgust I felt. Too bad no one took a picture of me. It would have brilliantly captured that Kodak moment for sure.

     Moving on to a seemingly, happy-go-lucky bachelor of 50 years. He readily admitted that his mood was due to his habitual pot usage.
     Ugh. “I don’t do drugs, and I don’t want to be around anyone who does.”
     “I’ve been doing it for as long as I remember. But for you, I’d give it up.”
     Uh huh. “Sure.”
     Then with his next breath, he said, “You should try it though. You’ll like it. It will make you more creative.”
     I refused, “No. I have no desire to. Never have, never will. I’m creative enough.”
     “It will make you more creative than you ever imagined. You don’t know what you’re missing. All the great artists do it.”
     “I’m not missing anything.”
     “You know, sex is only good if you get high beforehand.”
     What??? “If you have to get high to enjoy sex, you’re not doing it right.”

     So far this year, there has been a plethora of overbearing, controlling bachelors. All of the men were in their fifties. Yeah, I was on an older guy run for some time. I ran out of forty-somethings without any pets. I am not sure if the over-fifty statistic has anything to do with it, or if it was just coincidence.
     The common theme was the men telling me all of the things that I should and/or need to do. Here are a few, in no particular order.

     “You need to learn to play golf.”
     “I’m not really interested in golf. I have other interests. It’s great that you play golf with your college buddies so often.”
     “You need to learn. I play golf, so you need to play.”
     “We have different interests. We don’t have to do everything together.”
     “Yes, we do.”
     Thinking he was joking, I laughed and responded, “No, we don’t. But I could drive the golf cart.”
     Sternly and slowly, he said, “You’re not hearing me.”
     Oh yes, I am, Mr. Control Freak. Yikes!

     “You should join my gym. It’s the best one in the city.”
     “I exercise at home.”
     “That’s not good enough. You need to join the gym, so you can get buff.”
     “I’m happy with my body the way it is.”
     “You have areas of your body that need improvement.”
     Excuse me???
     I will be the first one to admit my body is not perfect. But I do not need a man telling me that my body needs improvement on a first date.

     “You should wear higher heels.”
     “I’m comfortable in these.”
     “I like higher heels.”
     Then you wear them. “These are the highest ones I have.”
     “You need to buy higher ones. You’d look sexier.”
     I laughed, “Trust me, I wouldn’t. I am not graceful in four-inch heels.”
     Looking at me very intensely, he whispered, “Babe, your feet would never touch the floor. Ever.”
     Not exactly appropriate first date conversation. And I hate being called, “Babe.”

     “I want to throw you on the back of my Harley and head down to Brown County.”
     “Brown County is beautiful, but I don’t ride motorcycles.”
     “You just need to try it.”
     “Already tried it. I rode on one once. I didn’t like it at all. I won’t do it again.”
     “I’ll change your mind. Guaranteed.”
     “Sorry, you won’t. I like road trips in a car. Those are fun – rain or shine.”
     “You’re just a stuck-up bitch, aren’t you?”
     Heavy sigh.

     These examples are just the tip of the iceberg. Time and time again, polite conversation is nowhere to be found. And men continually attempt to pressure me to do something I am not interested in doing.
     Why do these men feel as if they have to force women to do or like everything they do? I am sure Dr. Phil has done plenty of shows on this subject. But it still baffles me.
     I do not try to force my interests and hobbies on anyone. I would never dream of it. We are all individuals. We do not have to be identical on everything.
     Potential mates should have similar mindsets. That way, we can appreciate each other’s likes and dislikes to discover things to do together as a couple.
     The problem with online dating algorithms is that they can not analyze mindsets. Hence, my ongoing conundrum.

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal
     

What a Transformation!

d125032c974831bfece776441f888bd1     I am pleased to post my wedding gown transformation article courtesy of the wonderful non-profit, Little Angel Gowns. And it just so happens to coincide with their one year anniversary! Happy Anniversary, Little Angel Gowns!

     If you missed my first article on Little Angel Gowns, the organization works with hospital bereavement programs to provide burial gowns and pouches to grieving families.

     The gowns and pouches are made from wedding gowns, formal dresses and first communion dresses.

     They are funded solely by donations and work on a volunteer basis. Each gown is individually wrapped in tissue and presented to families by the medical team caring for their baby.

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     My old wedding gown was transformed into several beautiful angel gowns. I am humbled and honored to post the pictures of the transformation process.

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     If you haven’t done so, please consider getting involved with this organization and the services it provides.

     There are so many ways for you to get involved. Obviously, you can donate a gown, or gowns, in the case you have a closet bursting with bridesmaids dresses you’ll never wear again. Don’t have a gown? Don’t fret! You can donate your time, supplies or sewing skills. Volunteers are always needed.

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     Several events have been planned for this year, including an Indianapolis Southside Harley-Davidson sponsored event, “On the Wings of Angels” Charity Motorcycle Ride. It will be held on Saturday, July 25, 2015. Here is the link for the event. https://www.facebook.com/events/420371818123709/

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     If you’re interested in helping them celebrate the invaluable work they do, join them for their one year anniversary party on Sunday, April 19, 2015, here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/events/827184384020094/

     To learn more about Little Angel Gowns or to get involved, check them out on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/littleangelgowns?fref=ts or on their website: http://www.littleangelgowns.org/

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Little Angel Gowns’ Weekend Volunteer Retreat

volunteer logo
     Looking for something to do this weekend? Look no further!
     Little Angel Gowns is looking for volunteers this weekend to help with every part of the process.
     There will be food, fun and entertainment.
     Please take some time to help this worthy cause!
     I’ve copied the information from their FB Page below. https://www.facebook.com/events/867875926588433/

Weekend Volunteer Retreat!!

We will host a weekend retreat on February 20- 22, 2015.
We will start at 6:00 pm on Friday, Feb 20 and will go until 3:00 pm on Sunday, Feb 22.

The weekend retreat will take place at our office:
6075 Lakeside Blvd, Indianapolis, IN 46278

We are looking for anyone that would like to volunteer in the following capacity:
– Sew gowns
– Take gowns apart
– Prep and draw out patterns on gowns
– Take pics of before and after gowns
– Organize inventory

* Making Hairbows to sell at events.
* Scrapbooking
* Making jewelry bracelets for the mom of the baby

We will provide food, games, giveaways… it will be a FUN weekend.

** If you are going to sew we ask that you bring your sewing machine and supplies.

On Saturday night at 6pm we will host a fun comedy session.

Slapdash Comedy Group is an Indianapolis based group of performers who specialize in improvisational comedy and laughs of all types! Alexandra, Grant, Maddie & Chris have background ranging from The Odeon Society to improv courses at ComedySportz. As part of the audience you will become part of the troupe!

If you are interested, please select the TICKETS link that follows and sign up for the day/time you would like to volunteer. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/weekend-volunteer-retreat-tickets-15591185656

Thank you!
~ The Little Angel Gowns Team

Just Say, “No!”

no     Welcome to my first 2015 installment of my online dating series, “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” According to online dating statistics, January 4th is the biggest sign-up day for their sites. That gave me a new glimmer of hope. Although, so far, Indianapolis’ bachelors seem to be singing the same old song – same tune, just different words.

     The initial contact email from one guy read, “My view of your profile indicates we are a 97% match. If we were any more alike, you would have strong biceps and I would have boobs.”
     I have to assume he thought I would find that funny. He guessed wrong. I could not find words to reply. I take that back. I did have words. I just did not want to engage him in conversation. Any guy that uncouth in an introductory email did not deserve a reply.

     A retired sales executive, who was out of my desired age range, contacted me and said he did not have pets and thought we were a perfect match. His profile indicated he was a cigar aficionado and ultimate sun worshiper. So, I had my doubts.
     Among other questions, I inquired, “How often do you smoke?”
     He replied, “I don’t smoke. Well, occasionally, a stogie and of course pot.”
     Of course pot???
     This is not Colorado or Amsterdam, the last time I checked. This man was in his late 50s. He was not some punk kid or Olympian gold medalist, Michael Phelps.
     “I don’t do drugs and will not date anyone who does. So if getting high is part of your life, then this is where our conversation ends.”
     And that was the end of that.

     The next bachelor’s email claimed he was a gemologist from New York City. He went on about how the family business takes him all over the world.
     Not interested, I replied, “You live over 700 miles away. So I’m not sure why you’re looking in Indiana. Logistically, it doesn’t make any sense. I’m not looking for a long distance relationship.”
     “If I find the right woman, I shall relocate to be closer to her or even live in the same house with her.”
     Oh, I bet you would like living off of a woman, wouldn’t you?
     “No. Best of luck to you.”
     “It will interest you to know that I have been thinking of you all day and I really want this to work between us and as of the distance that shouldn’t be a problem because like I said earlier that I shall be relocating closer to you. All what I need now to bail myself out of financial struggle is just 25,000 dollars and I have 21,000 already what I need is 4000 can you help me YES or NO no long mails and explanation.”
     “NO!”
     Wow! It’s bad enough that he was trying to swindle me out of money, but to demand an answer immediately, with no explanation, that’s so ridiculous. Apparently, he was an impatient thief and did not want to waste time if he wasn’t going to get a payoff. I hoped I would not hear from this scammer again. No such luck.
      “Why the silent? A friend in salt lake want to transfer me money into account but I can not access my account here so I was thinking if they can transfer the money into your account when you get it, you will send it to me using western union the amount is about 5000 or 6000 can you help me? I need money urgently here in Turkey to get out of here.”
     Turkey can have you!
     The fatal flaw in this scammer’s logic is that the friend could send the money via Western Union. I think it could be a ring of foreign thieves because the English in the initial communication was good. It went downhill with each subsequent exchange. Who knows.
     It worries me that some people might be gullible enough to fall for this scam. I reported him, but his profile and any trace of him were gone.
     Beware of low-life scammers! They are everywhere!

     After talking for the good part of a week, I went to dinner with a project manager from the south side of Indianapolis. I liked that he preferred talking to texting. I found that encouraging. When we met, I realized he was a little bit country, and I was a little bit rock and roll. He seemed uncomfortable and out of his element at the restaurant. But he was polite, and we had a nice time. I was hemming and hawing about whether to go on another date with him.
     The following day, I received a text from an unknown number.
     “Why the f*** do you have my f***ing number saved? Get out of here and leave me and him’s relationship ALONE. Bye now.”
     It was followed by an emoticon of an expressive hand. Use your imagination.
     Huh? Nice mouth! And me and him’s??
     I felt bad for the poor, functionally illiterate woman with the cheating boyfriend.
     Believing it was a wrong number, I replied, “I have no idea who you are or who you’re talking about. I think you have the wrong number.”
     No response.
     About an hour later, I got a call from the guy. “I’m sorry, but I’m not over my ex. Just wanted to let you know. I’m gonna take myself off Match. I shouldn’t date until I’m over her. Sorry.”
     Are you kidding me?
     Maybe it wasn’t a wrong number after all. I could not believe it. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. He used me to make his ex jealous. Wow! That was a new low.

     The next bachelor also liked talking on the phone. We met at a café. He appeared nervous and claimed he had butterflies in his stomach about meeting me or possibly it was a lactose intolerance problem. Okay, no big deal.
     However, about an hour into our conversation, which was pretty one-sided, he departed for the bathroom. Upon returning, he announced he was really sick, the “I need to spend the day in the bathroom” kind of sick. He confessed he had been ill since the previous day.
     I wished him well, literally, and we parted ways.
     What kind of person shows up sick to a first date? It was a complete and utter lack of respect and common courtesy.
     People, if you are sick, stay home and reschedule!
     He contacted me days later to say that he did not remember anything about our date or what we discussed. He said he remembered he liked me and my cleavage, but that was all. He wanted another date.
     Um, no. My cleavage and I think not.

     I have no rational explanation for why the men in this area are so relationship-challenged. If anyone has a theory, then I’m all ears. Better yet, if you know of a decent single guy, send him my way. The Law of Averages dictates there has to be some decent guys out there somewhere!

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal

February Dress Drive to Benefit Little Angel Gowns

1506780_516810131793340_4658503798310689677_nLittle Angel Gowns began small, in a house, growing into a blooming nonprofit. In December of 2014, LAG became a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

They work with hospital bereavement programs to provide burial gowns and pouches to grieving families. These gowns and pouches are made from wedding gowns, formal dresses and first communion dresses.

They are funded solely by donations and work on a volunteer basis. Each gown is individually wrapped in tissue and presented to families by the medical team caring for their baby.

I recently donated my wedding gown to this wonderful organization. I will be documenting my dress’ journey through the process. I ask that you consider donating your gowns for this worthy cause.
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If you do not have a gown to donate, they need supplies and volunteers to organize and sew.

To learn more about this generous organization, click on this link to their website http://www.littleangelgowns.org/

They also have a Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/littleangelgowns.

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This is the information that is posted on their Facebook page concerning the February Dress Drive:

We have had so many of you ask if you could host a dress drive in your local towns, groups, organizations, church groups, work places, and so forth.

During the month of February we will host a LOVE DRESS DRIVE.

We encourage you to create a dress drive in your area with your friends, family or co-workers. Collect all of the gowns you can and then donate them to our organization by the end of February.

The dresses will need to be dropped off or shipped to our office location: 6075 Lakeside Blvd, Indianapolis, IN 46278

* The dresses do not need to be cleaned.

* You can cut a 4×4 square inch of your gown to keep.

* All gowns must have the ‘donation gown form’ pinned to the gown.
Please print: http://media.wix.com/ugd/e335e5_c14ca46d8e0a41a0a5d1ea82720dcb2f.pdf

If you have any questions regarding the dress drive, feel free to email us or direct message us on FB. Please direct all questions to Jenn as she is coordinating the dress drive.(littleangelgowns@yahoo.com)

February is the month of LOVE and what better way to show your LOVE then by donating your wedding gown.

We provide our complimentary Angel Gowns to families who have lost a baby. We ship gowns anywhere in the USA.

Many Blessings
~ The Little Angel Gowns Team

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Match.com Style

     Christmas Greetings, dear readers! I was inspired today to write a satirical bit to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. I consider this tune to be part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series. Some material just seems to write itself!

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The Twelve Days of Christmas, Match.com Style

On the first day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
A bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the second day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the third day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Seven guys my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Eleven filthy pictures,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Match did give to me,
Twelve illiterate bumpkins,
Eleven filthy pictures,
Ten hotties under thirty,
Nine fancy dinners,
Eight lewd propositions,
Seven dudes my dad’s age,
Six months for free,
Five narcissistic cads,
Four scary stalkers,
Three not so wise men,
Two heavy drinkers,
And a bachelor with a dog that has fleas!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Featuring Sports Writer and Author, Terry Hutchens

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     Sports writer and author, Terry Hutchens will be appearing at the The 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. He will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 5:30 PM – 9:00 PM.

     Terry is the site publisher for AllHoosiers.com, the Scout.com site that covers Indiana University athletics. He has been in that position since July of 2013. Prior to that, Terry spent the previous 22 years at the Indianapolis Star where he covered IU football and basketball his final 15 seasons at the paper. During that span, Terry was honored as Indiana’s Sportswriter of the Year five times, including four years in a row.

     Terry has written five books, including his latest title, Hoosiers Through and Through, which looks at the top IU basketball players of all time who are from the state of Indiana.

     His other books include: Rising From The Ashes: The Return of Indiana University Basketball, which was published in 2012, Never Ever Quit, in 2009, Hep Remembered, in 2007 and Let ‘Er Rip, in 1995.

Hoosiers Through and Through

     He also wrote the latest 11 chapters of the update to the Indiana University Basketball Encyclopedia, originally penned by Jason Hiner. Terry also teaches part-time in the IU School of Journalism at Indiana University, in Bloomington, and has done so at either IU Bloomington or IUPUI for the past 15-20 years.

     Terry and his wife Susan live in Indianapolis and have two grown sons. Bryan, 23, graduated from Wabash College and now works for Eli Lilly and Co., and Kevin, 21, is a junior studying Music at Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn.

To learn more about Terry, connect with him:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FoxSportsHutch
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Terry-Hutchens/e/B001K8KW9A/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Local Authors Appearing at The 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show

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     This is the signing schedule for the Local Authors’ Booth at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. The street address is: 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205.

     Our booth number is #310. We are located in the center aisle, across from Santa and his reindeer.

     I have attached a discount coupon for $3 off admission. It can be used any day of the show. And here is a link to the show’s website: http://hsishows.com/wp/christmasgiftandhobbyshow/

     Please come out and support your local authors! Signed and dedicated books make great Christmas, birthday and other occasion gifts!

Wednesday, November 5th, 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal
Wednesday, November 5th, 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal

Thursday, November 6th, 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM – Tia Catalina, M. Katherine Clark, Jillian Jacobs, Suzanne Purewal
Thursday, November 6th, 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM – Molly Daniels, Suzanne Purewal

Friday, November 7th, 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM – Kermit N. Paddack, Suzanne Purewal
Friday, November 7th, 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM – Ruth Ann Hanley, Terry Hutchens, Suzanne Purewal, Phillip B. Wilson

Saturday, November 8th, 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Kristen Mott, Phillip B. Wilson
Saturday, November 8th, 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM – Ruth Ann Hanley, Suzanne Purewal, Phillip B. Wilson

Sunday, November 9th, 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal, Morgan K. Wyatt

Featuring Romance Author, Poet and Humorist, Suzanne Purewal

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     Yes, I am featuring myself. I have featured all of my fellow authors. Why leave myself out?

     I will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. I will be signing books every day of the show, running from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th.

     The Local Authors’ Booth is Booth #310. It is located in the center aisle, across from Santa and his reindeer. The complete signing schedule will be posted on this blog later today.

     I am an author, poet, humorist and motivational speaker. Battling cancer, being downsized and enduring an unexpected divorce have provided ample fuel for my work. You can not control what happens in life, but keeping a healthy outlook is the most important thing you can do for yourself, no matter what the challenge.

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     My romance novel, Embracing Destiny, follows Sara Taylor – a woman standing at a crossroad. An unexpected event sets her on a journey. Outside forces intervene, and danger lurks in every shadow. Although written as a stand-alone novel, the feedback from readers is compelling me to write a sequel. Look for Challenging Destiny to be released in 2015.

     My poetry book, From 14 to 41, contains soulful poems that capture the essence of life. A blend of love, loss, whimsical and inspirational pieces, readers are drawn in as the raw emotions leap from the pages.

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     My blog, the one you are currently reading, Pursuing My Passion, features original work as well as material from guest bloggers following their passions.

     The most popular posts are from my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series. The entries are all true stories based on my online dating adventures on Match.com. Although I am getting a lot of entertaining and humorous material, I would rather find a decent man!

     My work has appeared in The Polk Street Review and in An Evening with the Writing Muse. I was featured as the Author of the Month in the September/October 2011 issue of Pen It! Magazine.

     I have also been making the rounds on the speaking and lecture circuit. I was the Keynote Speaker at the 2013 LadiesEveningOut Event in Indianapolis. I have been the Featured Author and Speaker at several events in the Indianapolis area, most notably, the 2012 and 2013 Writers’ Conferences. In my spare time, I also conduct various writing and poetry workshops.

     I am a member of The International Women’s Writing Guild, The Writers’ Center of Indiana, The Noble Writers’ Group, The Noble Poets Group and Friends of the Hamilton East and North Public Libraries. For the past twenty-one years, I have resided in Noblesville, IN.

Casting a Spotlight on Up-and Coming Author, Jillian Jacobs

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     One of today’s spotlights is shining on up-and-coming author, Jillian Jacobs. Jillian will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. She will be promoting the release of her first novel, Water’s Threshold, on Thursday, November 6th, from 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM.

     In the spring of 2013, Jillian Jacobs changed her career path and became a romance writer. After reading for years, she figured writing a romance would be quick and easy. Nope! With the guidance of the Indiana Romance Writers of America chapter, she’s learned there are many “rules” to writing a proper romance. Being re-schooled has been an interesting journey, and she hopes the best trails are yet to be traveled.

     Coming November 11th, 2014: The Elementals Series, Book 1 Water’s Threshold.

Water's Threshold

     Water’s Threshold, the first in Jillian’s Elementals series, was a finalist in Chicago-North’s 2014 Fire and Ice contest in the Women’s Fiction category.

     Here is a teaser for the book:

     What happens when a lonely water-girl finally finds her shore? In a tourist town at the base of the Tetons, Maya Conway, a mythical being known as an Elemental, stands at a crossroads. On her current path, she is content using her life force—water—to protect humans and the environment. Her direction is altered when Mother Nature taps her to guide Terran Forrester, an analytical scientist, on his journey to become the next Elemental—Earth. If Maya crosses into his world, will her lonely heart find a partner or will his rational mind reject her otherworldly existence? When an ancient evil evolved from dark matter shadows their steps, which path will they choose—logic or love?

     Jillian is a: Tea Guzzler, Polish Pottery Hoarder, and lover of all things Moose. The genres she writes under are: Paranormal and Contemporary with suspenseful elements.

     To learn more about Jillian, connect with her:

Social Media Links:
Website: http://www.jillianjacobs.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GreenMooseProd
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorJillianJacobs

Featuring Tia Catalina, Romantic Suspense Author

Photo_2     Tia Catalina, romantic suspense author, will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. She will be signing books on Thursday, November 6th, from 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM.

     Tia has never had a real job. Having been self-employed for most of her adult life, she decided several years ago to make a change. She joined the Indiana chapter of the Romance Writers of America and the National Sisters in Crime.

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     She lives in central Indiana with her husband and a spoiled pooch named Brandolina Jolie, or something not fit for print when the dog is chewing on the downspouts and digging up the landscaping.

     To learn more about Tia Catalina and her work, connect with her:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/tia.catalina.77@facebook.com
Fan Page: http://facebook/tia.catalina.77@facebook.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/tiacatalina@CatalinaWinter6
Email: tiacatalina@live.com
Website: http://www.tiacatalina.com

Featuring Romance Author, Morgan K. Wyatt

IMG_5285     Today’s spotlight is on romance author, Morgan K Wyatt. She will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. She will be signing books on Sunday, November 9th, from 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM.

     Here is the teaser for Morgan’s latest release, The Soul Mate Search:

     Nina can’t control love in her ordered universe. It has eluded her until a mysterious fortune teller, Helena, reveals she’s already met her soul mate. Three times in fact and has only four times remaining before he passes from her life forever. A magic crystal ball allows her to see what he looked like several years ago, but no address. Helena warns her if she forces the meeting it won’t happen. Tony’s life has hit a major rough spot with Sheila kicking him out of his house when he discovers her in bed with another man. If that wasn’t bad enough, she spreads rumors that she’s afraid of him because he’s abusive. What did he do to deserve this? All he ever wanted was to love one woman until he died. At this rate, he’s destined to die alone. It will take magic to meet his soul mate.

The Soul Mate

     Morgan was raised on a steady diet of superheroes, believed she could fly at a very young age. After using trees, barn lofts, sliding boards, and even a second story window as launch pads, she found her flying skills were limited to fast and downward. By the age of nine, her dreams to be a superhero needed some modifications, which caused her to turn to writing and horseback riding as alternatives to flying.

     At the age of twenty, she had another chance at superhero greatness as being one of the few female soldiers trained for combat. The fact that women will be able to serve in combat soon indicates that all the witnesses to the grenade incident have retired. The grenade incident didn’t prevent her two sons or daughter-in-law from enlisting in the service. Having different last names probably helped.

     Morgan recently retired from teaching special needs students to write full-time, instead of in the wee hours of the night. With the help of her helpful husband and loyal hound, she creates characters who often grab plot lines and run with them. As for flying, she prefers the airlines now.

     To learn more about Morgan K. Wyatt and her work, check out all of her websites and blogs:

http://www.morgankwyatt.com

http://www.facebook.com\AuthorMorganKWyatt

Twitter  Goodreads  Pinterest  Amazon

www.datingafterfortyeight.blogspot.com

www.frugaldivatellsall.blogspot.com

www.lowcarbbeliever.weebly.com

www.writerwonderland.weebly.com

Casting the Spotlight on Sports Writer and Author, Phillip B. Wilson

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     Today’s featured author is sports writer, Phillip B. Wilson. He will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. He will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM, and Saturday, November 8th, from 10:00 AM – 9:00 PM.

     Phillip B. Wilson is author of 100 Things Colts Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, released last September through Triumph Books. It’s more than just a guide on how to become a better fan. It is the ultimate book for those who bleed blue.Phillip B book

     Phil B. relies on his 15 years of covering the Colts to provide behind-the-scenes stories and unique content never before shared with the public.

     After working at The Indianapolis Star for 20 years, he accepted a job at Scout.com in August as Publisher of http://www.ColtsBlitz.com and http://www.PacersPress.com Web pages.

     Phil B., 49, lives on the Southside with his wife, Dee, and two children, Morgan and Brandon.

     To learn more about Phillip B. Wilson, his work and the Colts, check out his other websites:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/100-Things-Colts-Fans-Should-Know-Do-Before-They-Die/630627120311165
http://www.triumphbooks.com/100-things-colts-fans-should-know—do-before-they-die-products-9781600788406.php?page_id=21

Featuring Local Sports Author Kermit N. Paddack

kermitpaddack     Today’s featured author, Kermit N. Paddack, has written two books about local Indiana sports teams, including his alma mater, Sheridan High School. He will be signing books at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show on Friday, November 5th, from 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM.

     Kermit N. Paddack grew up near Sheridan, Indiana and graduated from Sheridan High School in 2002. As a third generation Sheridan football player, he developed a keen interest in the history of high school sports programs, an interest that has led to much research and many projects (past and future).

     After high school, Kermit attended Purdue University where he majored in history. He then went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Library Science from Indiana University.

Tiger Basketball A Lebanon Passion

     In 2012, he published his first book, Sheridan High School Football, History and Tradition. In 2013, he published, Tiger Basketball, A Lebanon Passion.

     An organization that he works with, and that is near and dear to his heart, is the Indiana High School Basketball Historical Society. Found at http://www.indianabasketballhistory.com.

Sheridan Football
     Kermit lives with his wife and their daughter in Lebanon and works at the Hussey-Mayfield Memorial Public Library in Zionsville. He also maintains that although both of his brothers had more successful athletic careers, he is still the most handsome of the three brothers.

     To learn more about Kermit N. Paddack and his work, check out the links to his websites:

http://www.tigerbasketballbook.com
https://www.facebook.com/Tigerbasketballalebanonpassion
https://www.facebook.com/SHSfootballhistoryandtradition

Featuring Local Author Molly Daniels

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     Molly Daniels is one of the talented local romance authors who will be appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show. The show runs from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds.
     Molly will be signing books on Thursday, November 6th from 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM.
     She resides in the Midwest with her husband, three children, and various household pets. Her fifth-grade teacher showed this avid reader how to write the stories swirling in her head, successfully unleashing her imagination upon the written word.

Love Weighs In Molly

     Kenzie Michaels is the ‘wild child’ of author Molly Daniels. They cohabitate nicely inside the brain of a woman in Indiana who’s the mother of three and ‘Aunt Molly’ to the entire neighborhood.

     A devout chocoholic, her hubby has learned to watch out when the characters in her head take over and not get too upset when the words are flowing and all concept of time is lost.HeartsLastChance_Draft2

You can learn more about Molly Daniels, her alter ego, Kenzie Michaels, and her books by checking out her Websites:

http://www.mollydaniels.wordpress.com
http://www.mjdaniels.blogspot.com
http://kenziemichaels.blogspot.com

Featuring M. Katherine Clark, Local Author

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     M. Katherine Clark is one of the local authors appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. The show runs from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th.
     She was born in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1990. She has been writing for nearly 15 years. Mysteries have always been near and dear to her heart, but recently she has been working on a suspenseful, paranormal romance series set in the Scottish highlands in 650 AD.

     I am excited to report that she released, Soundless Silence, A Sherlock Holmes novel, on Amazon Kindle this week. Here is the link to her brand new novel: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00OUD6G74/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1414265345&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40soundless silence

     Her first novel, Blood is Thicker Than Water, has an interesting mix of romance, mystery and danger.
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     She currently writes full-time and resides on the northside of Indianapolis. She is a graduate of Butler University and is very involved in her local community theater.

     You can read more about M. Katherine Clark and her novels on her website and Facebook Author Page.

     http://mkatherineclark.tateauthor.com/
     http://www.facebook.com/mkatherineclark

Shining the Spotlight on Ruth Ann Hanley

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     Today’s featured author is Ruth Ann Hanley. She and her Cockapoo, Pepper, will be appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. She will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM, and Saturday, November 8th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM.

     Ruth has lived in Indiana most of her adult life with no intention of leaving. She is an animal lover, photo-journalist, writer (fiction and non-fiction in local and national publications) and retired attorney.

No pulling back

     No Pulling Back is Ruth’s first novel, and much research went into understanding her dog protagonist. She invites readers to enter the mind-set of this huge, muscular and intelligent beast from the first century. Please share his brave journey from the applause of the bloodthirsty crowd in the Roman amphitheater to the joy of unflinching love. Can we learn from a dog how to love completely and unreservedly? Read and see.

     If you are an animal lover, you will love her story showing the healing touch of a chocolate lab. To read that story and to learn more about Ruth Ann Hanley and her work, check out her website: http://www.hanleyra.com

It Finally Happened!

     It finally happened! About two weeks ago, I received the most unbelievable message on Match.com. It was short and to the point. I read it twice before it sank in. I just could not believe my eyes. But there it was staring me in the face. It read, “0 Matches Found.”
     Yes, I accomplished the seemingly impossible feat. I exhausted all of my possible matches on Match.com. Even with my extended search range of 100 miles and age range of 35 to 55, there were no matches. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
     I hear you saying, “Well, you’re being too picky.”
     No, I’m not. I’m giving a 20-year age range within 100 miles. All hair and eye colors, all body types, except obese, all religions, and a college degree.
     It appears my primary problem is that almost everybody in this state has indoor pets. Over half of my supposed matches were eliminated due to a pet situation.
     Granted, some guys say they will get rid of their pets. But I still couldn’t go into their houses. They would have to rip out the carpets, replace their furniture, clean the house’s ductwork, etc. So, let’s face it, not many men would go through that or have the financial means to do so.

     Not to be deterred, I thought I should try another dating site. So, I signed up for Christian Mingle. Their questions were quite different than those found on Match.

     Would you engage in premarital sex?
     Is my mom running this site?
     Do you believe that the only reason to engage in sexual relations is for procreation?
     Um, no.
     How often ideally would you want to have sexual relations? The answers ranged from “every day” to “never.”
     I plead the Fifth on my answer to this question.
     I am sensing an anti-sex theme here. Seriously? Never? If you want to remain eternally celibate, you should look into becoming a Catholic nun or a priest. They need new recruits.
     Moving on…I particularly loved the questions that revolved around my children, especially since I don’t have any. There was no way to bypass the questions. So, I had to base my answers on the imaginary children that I don’t have and never will have.
     Other questions asked about the woman’s role in the home. Those questions pissed me off. It upset me to think that there are women who are acting subservient to men. That’s an entire blog post in and of itself.
     I found one useful question: How is your timeliness?
     I am always early. If you are habitually late, then you will be literally and figuratively wasting my time. Do us both a favor, do not waste my time.
     There were so many absurd questions, I wish I could share them all. But one of my favorites was: How do you feel about wearing fashionable clothes?
     Oh, just throw a burlap sack over my head, and I’ll tie it around my waist with some twine, thank you. Itchy is all the rage this season!
     The more questions I answered, the more I felt I was falling down a rabbit hole, and I was positive I would end up in Wonderland. Remember, Wonderland was royally screwed up.
     After suffering through the questions and filling out the profile, their system told me I had zero matches. I laughed out loud. No kidding. So, I went to the search feature and altered some criteria. Ten guys popped up. I recognized six of the guys from Match. The others had no pictures. I do not communicate with guys who do not post pictures.
     After five days on this site, I wanted to shoot myself. I did searches to cover anyone breathing and with a pulse within 100 miles. There wasn’t anyone remotely close to what I was looking for in a partner. The majority of profiles had no pictures, and the men lived in rural areas and very few had graduated from college.
     The system sent me profiles to view. Most of the men lived in Illinois or Ohio. Sheesh.
     I was done. So, I called to cancel. The best the girl could do was downgrade my account to one month instead of the original six. Wonderful.
     Obviously, some people have found that site successful. I am happy for them. Sorry to say that I was not one of them. Based on my experience, I would never recommend Christian Mingle.

     Since that went so poorly, I joined eHarmony. So far, that site is a dud too. I had no matches again. But this site will not let you search for people. Their computer does the work and sends you matches.
     Really, there is no way to search. Instead, you keep answering questions. I answered 290 questions. Yes, I answered that many. I’m just sitting on my couch watching television on a Saturday night, so why not?
     I got messages saying, “So-and-so is just outside of your parameters.”
     The majority of men were from other states. Not neighboring states like Illinois or Ohio, but states such as Texas, New Jersey, Florida and California.
     The ones that really astonished me were incompatible based on our answers. If we answered 67% of the questions differently, we are not a match. But those were the profiles the computer kept sending me.
     This service was the most expensive. And this was pissing me off. So, I wrote their Customer Service people a nasty-gram.

     “You only send me ‘matches’ who are outside of my parameters. What is the point of answering all of the questions if you ignore them when matching people? I’m getting ‘matches’ when over 50% of our answers differ. Those aren’t matches.
     And I am not interested in anyone who lives out of state. You repeatedly send me guys who live all over the country. How can I get you to stop sending me people who live out of state? It’s ridiculous. I’m not looking for a pen pal. I’m looking for a mate.
     So far, this service has been a waste of time and money. What are you going to do to make this a better experience for me?”
     And I waited. I am not sure what type of response I was expecting. I just wanted to notify them that their computer algorithms sucked, and I was not happy. Less than twelve hours later, I received a response.
     “Our goal is to find matches for you that are compatible with your unique personality in deep and important ways. We do this by using the results of your relationship questionnaire to screen for individuals based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility.
     We understand that you won’t feel a connection with all of your matches. Although we put a lot of emphasis here in the early stages of being matched with someone, establishing chemistry only accounts for a portion of what makes a relationship last and is only something you can determine once you get to know someone. We caution you from trying to make such an early assessment from just the match detail information.
     Please be assured that you will no longer receive matches outside your distance setting.”

     I wish I had a pair of hip waders to trudge through that pile of BS.

     Just when I thought all hope was lost, I received an email from Match. Apparently, since all of the kids in Indiana have gone back to school in the last two weeks, there has been a considerable influx on the number of new Match members.
     So, for now, I’m back to the bachelors on Match. Gentle readers, I know you enjoy these posts, but nothing would make me happier than to have a reason to stop writing them. Wish me luck!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

A Handful of Mixed Nuts

     Welcome to yet another crazy blog post about the Match.com men. This is my eighth entry of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series. The email exchanges never cease to amaze me.
     The first man up was a retired bachelor, at the upper end of my range age. His profile picture screamed Hannibal Lecter, sans straight jacket.
      “I had a dream about you last night. I couldn’t stop kissing your neck. I think it was the musk oil and your soft skin creating a sweet spot I couldn’t resist! Do you think that is a typical guy thought, or is it possible that women really are special to me? Just wondering… CyberCasanova.”
     What the ??? Typical guys do not think this way. Musk oil? Who talks about, much less dreams about, musk oil? As far as being special goes, maybe the kind of “special” that is tonight’s dinner entrée with fava beans and Chianti.
     I don’t know about you, but that was entirely too bizarre for me. There was no, “Hello.” Or even a, “Good evening.” I can not believe this guy thought that was an acceptable introductory greeting.
     I replied, “Honestly, I found it to be forward and creepy since we don’t know each other. I wish you luck finding a match.”
      “I think you misinterpreted my comedic style email about a thought experiment of how men think when we see a pretty girl and react with romance laden thoughts of love and affection as if we fast forwarded through courting to a point in the relationship where friendship develops into partners.”
     Huh? A comedic thought experiment? You have got to be kidding me. I didn’t find any of it particularly funny.
     It has been said that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. This guy seemed to have crossed that line.
      “It didn’t come across as comedic. You might want to rethink your approach. Best of luck to you.”
      “We are what our genes say we are and if it’s a smiling, happy, pretty girl that lifts us to happiness to want to live another day, then the Cosmos has set forth profound physical laws and properties to help ensure the survival of our species. A gentleman knows to look but not touch unless given permission. The Devil doesn’t make us, the Cosmos does. You’re probably just another fake profiler that doesn’t know the difference between E=mc2 and their hat size. Just sayin’… CyberEinstein.”
     You’re freaking nuts! And obviously, the Cosmos is slacking big time, because you’ve survived this long.
     I loved his slam on my integrity and intelligence. I think I will refer to him as “CyberNutJob.” And the Cosmos did not make me say it, nor did the Devil. I did it all on my own without consulting my genetic code or altering the space-time continuum.

     The next bachelor did not want to take “no” for an answer. He was within my age range. However, we had nothing in common based on our profiles. Absolutely positively nothing.
     Every picture posted was shirtless. And most were old pictures. They looked like Polaroids from the ’70s. His profile and his emails were written in all capital letters. So, he was lazy on top of everything else. I apologize for the caps, but I want to give you the true essence of the exchange.
      “JULIET…LET ME BE YOUR ROMEO.”
      “We do not have enough in common. I wish you luck finding a match.”
      “ROMEO NEEDS YOU…I’LL COME TO YOU….I PROMISE I’M AS GOOD AS ADVERTISED…ONLY 10 TIMES BETTER!”
      “No, thank you.”
      “ROMEO CAN’T BE ROMEO WITHOUT YOU.”
     I did not reply.
     Two days later, he sent, “I KNOW…YOU SAID NO…I DO RESPECT THAT…BUT I TRUELY BELIEVE YOU MISSED JUDGED ME.”
     No, I definitely did not. All I want to do is correct your grammar, spelling and punctuation.
      “You do not respect me because you keep contacting me. My answer is no.”
      “I DO RESPECT…BUT COULD YOU TELL ME WHY…MAYBE I’LL LEARN SOMETHING. BE NICE.”
     Oh my God! Seriously? Okay, buddy, you asked for it. And I’ll try to be as nice as possible.
      “No, you really don’t respect me because you insist on making me justify my answer. You are not my type, and I am not attracted to you. You have cats. You smoke. You want children. You have so many grammatical errors in your profile, I lost track. You indicate that you will become violent when defending loved ones. You posted shirtless pictures only. And last, but not least, you refuse to take ‘no’ for an answer. Nothing you say will cause me to change my mind. Please do not contact me again.”
     Well, you know he did. But I ignored him, and he eventually went away. Ugh!

     The next bachelor was a retired lawyer. He was well out of my age range.
      “Good looking, sometimes charming, generally well-behaved lawyer calling.”
      “You have a dog, and I am severely allergic to dogs. I wish you luck finding a match.”
      “Pity. Outside of my dog we are a pretty good romantic prospect. I’m as pretty as you, and as smart, creative, sophisticated and wealthy as you’ll find in these parts. Don’t rule me out on the onset.”
     Friends, he was not as pretty as me. Not even close. God forgive me, but the way he styled his red hair made him look like a clown. Not quite Stephen King’s, It, clown, more like a circus clown.
      “My reaction to animals is anaphylactic. So I can not be around them or people who own them. Best of luck.”
      “I have a solution! No hugging, kissing, or ETC. pending the occurrence of at least one of the following:
     1) You become uncontrollably driven to hug, kiss, or etc. with me so as to suffer a bad reaction notwithstanding.
     In your freaking dreams!
     2) You become gradually (and miraculously) acclimated. (I GROW ON YOU)
     You would grow on me like a flesh-eating disease!
     3) You take a Sudafed or other effective medication. (I will pay for testing and treatment- ha ha)
     Over-the-counter meds don’t work for anaphylaxis, moron.
     4) I take a ridiculously thorough bath beforehand. (You can watch!)
     Yuck!!! I shudder at the mere thought. You could not pay me to watch.
     5) My poor dog dies.
     I pity that dog for having to put up with you.
     6) We give it a CAREFUL AND JUDICIOUS TRY.
     Oh sure, because you’re not the one risking your life. Easy for you to say, “Let’s give it a shot.” You’re not the one who could die.
     Let’s meet for coffee, sweetness, I promise you won’t get the hives!”
     Not if you were the last man on earth!
     Life with this guy would consist of one idiotic, never-ending argument after another. Talk about exhausting.
      “I am not persuaded by your arguments. Anaphylaxis is not like a regular allergy. There is no medication I can take to avoid it. I am sorry, but my answer is still no. I wish you luck finding a match.”
      “I know perfectly well the effects of anaphylactic shock. It is after all, an allergic reaction, which is not unique to yourself. Changes in your physical environment could ameliorate the symptoms. In addition to physical factors, the power of the mind cannot be ignored and can produce remarkable things.”
     Sure! Let me just mentally will my throat not to close and miraculously stop myself from dying due to the lack of oxygen. Gee, why didn’t I think of that before??? If it was that easy, I would have tried it with the cowboy from a few posts back. I would not waste my newly-discovered superpowers on the likes of you.
     I did not reply because I knew he would keep arguing. He sent four more emails. I ignored each one.
     Then, a short time later, he sent the same initial email to me. But another quickly followed. It read, “Oops forgot! You’re the anti-dog screwball, never mind.”
     As I shook my head in dismay, a little voice beckoned to me. Behold! It is a jar of Nutella® calling my name. Mmm…hazelnuts – the kind of nuts a girl can truly love!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

The Foreign Contingent

     Welcome to another installment of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series! The Match bachelors in this post were all born outside of the United States.
     Indiana’s state motto is “The Crossroads of America.” And apparently, we are creating quite the melting pot in Indianapolis. Diversity is a good thing for “Honest-to-Goodness Indiana.” If you know me, you know I love learning about new cultures and traditions.
     Many of you also know that my ex-husband is Indian. His family is from the Punjab region in India. Yes, we had an Indian wedding.
     Anyway…I was contacted by bachelors from fourteen different countries, including India, Pakistan, Greece, Lebanon, Iran, England, Japan and Canada.
     Somehow, I attracted all of the Indian men within a fifty-mile radius. And 99% of them were doctors. Amazingly enough, they were deep into poetry and spirituality. As a poet, that intrigued me, because, let’s face it, most men are not keen on poetry.
     The conversations were interesting, enlightening and intellectual. One of the guys was even Punjabi. He was thrilled beyond belief that I knew what that meant. However, there was an element lacking with each and every one—chemistry.
     So let’s move on to merry old England. The phone conversation with the English guy was so awful it was like pulling teeth. I started fantasizing about my own version of My Fair Lady. I would be a kind professor teaching this brute of a man how to become a real gentleman.
     The Iranian, a self-advertised non-smoker, had a smoker’s cough so bad, I thought he’d cough up a lung during our phone conversation. I felt compelled to lecture him on the dangers of smoking. But that would have required me to listen to him cough longer. Ugh.
     The Pakistani bachelor’s profile pictures portrayed a tall, dark and handsome man. He seemed nice on the phone, but I couldn’t understand him most of the time. He sent me pictures of flowers. He said it was his way of giving me flowers. Sweet. But I did not grant him a live date. I knew I would have spent the entire night asking him to repeat himself. That wouldn’t have been enjoyable for either of us.
     The Greek candidate passed the phone interview. In person, he was gorgeous. Perfect olive complexion, thick black curly hair and a smile that almost knocked me over. He walked with confidence and had a magnificent personality. But alas, he wanted babies. Lots and lots of babies.
     Why does God hate me?!? Why???
     Then there was the bachelor from Japan. His introductory email read: “Hello! Have you traveled to Japan? What kind of cooking do you like? Do you like sushi?”
     My mind answered quickly, “No, I haven’t. The kind of cooking someone else does. Sushi? Way to stereotype yourself.” Sheesh.
     His height was listed as 5’1”. I’m almost 5’7”. And I don’t wear flats. Even my flip flops are wedges. Talk about an odd couple. With my lowest heels being two inches, we would be eight inches different in height. He would look like my child, not my date. That’s all sorts of wrong.
     The Lebanese bachelor was great on the phone. In person, he literally looked like Andre the Giant. Albeit, he was a bit shorter at 6’6”. He was boorish and drank like a fish. I stopped counting after six mixed drinks in less than an hour and a half. I would have left sooner, but it took forever to get the food. Hey, a girl has to eat. The redeeming feature of the night was that the food was good.
     The French Canadian guy took the cake. Period. Hands down winner.
      “I would love to get to know you more better and see how it goes between us, I am mixed race, Dad Canada, Mum America. I lived in Canada all my life.”
     I laughed as I read it. But based on the rest of the email, I knew he was serious about the “mixed race” part. After the initial email exchange, he revealed that he was working in Africa. He would require me to move to Canada as soon as possible to help raise his young son.
     Move to Canada? To raise his son while he’s in Africa? Um, no!
      “I’m sorry, but long distance relationships don’t work for me. I wish you luck finding a match.”
     I figured that would be the end of that. Au contraire, mes amis.
      “I quite understand how you mean but I seriously do not see distance as a barrier in a relationship in as much as true love and affection till the end of time.”
      “I’m sorry, no.”
      “I believe things happen for a reason, a connection happens when the right person comes.”
      “I’m sorry. I will not move to Canada. I am not the right person for you.”
      “Just thought it would be a nice idea to know some things about each other, it will be my pleasure to get to know more about you and answer the following love questions.”
     There were thirty-eight “love questions” that followed. Thirty-eight! There were basic questions, such as, “What do you seek in a relationship?” But there were slightly ambiguous questions, such as, “Do you like public intimacy?”
     I wasn’t sure if he was asking about public displays of affection or if I liked having sex in public places.
     The very last question on his “love questions” list was, “Would you hit your man for any reason?”
     I wanted to answer, “Yes, if he repeatedly ignored every word I said and sent me a list of thirty-eight ‘love questions’ to answer even though I’m clearly not interested. In that case, I might have to smack him upside the head.”
     Instead, my reply to his “love questions” email was simple. “Non. Non, merci. Bonne chance à vous.”
     And that was finally the end of that. Maybe he just didn’t understand “no” in English.

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

My Review of The Book of Mormon

     I was thrilled to have a ticket for opening night of The Book of Mormon in Indianapolis. I had been looking forward to seeing this show for ages.
     When I told some friends I was seeing The Book of Mormon, they said they love going to the pageant every year.
      “Um, I’m not going to the Hill Cumorah Pageant. I’m going to The Book of Mormon. There’s an enormous difference.”
     The pageant is a wholesome family-friendly event, rated “G.” The Broadway show, which won nine (9) Tony Awards, gets a big, bold flashing neon “R” rating.
     For those unfamiliar with the Hill Cumorah Pageant, every year, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints puts on a grand show about their origin, near Palmyra, New York. I am including the link to the pageant, in case you are curious. Although I have never been, I have heard it is quite the spectacle and fun for the whole family. http://www.hillcumorah.org/Pageant/
     The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, is a religious satire musical about two Mormon missionaries sent to Uganda. Here is a link to the opening number that was performed on network television at the 2012 Tony Awards. I love the interaction with other stars, you will too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy5K8ApSzhI
     The Book of Mormon was written by the South Park guys, not the South Pacific guys. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are not Rodgers and Hammerstein. Although the latter might be impressed with the former’s orchestral score, they might have been appalled with the profanity peppered throughout the lyrics.
     I was not appalled. I was amused and entertained. I know…I hear gasping from all directions. I can feel prayers being offered up to save my soul. Sorry gentle readers, but I go to the theater to be entertained. I knew what the show was about before I bought my ticket. So, I was prepared.
     As I flipped through the Playbill, I noticed that the Mormons had bought three pages of advertising space. I thought that was awesome. They were not protesting or picketing, they bought advertising, which in turn supported the show. Obviously, they can take a joke. So, we should be able to as well.
     The Murat Theatre was jam-packed. I am guessing that the show was sold out. Unfortunately, the air conditioning was not working. So we were dying of heat. But the show went on!
     The performances by the cast members were stellar. Very high energy. You could tell they loved what they were doing. You saw it in their facial expressions. You heard it in the notes they sang. You felt it in the steps they danced. This troupe was having a blast. From what I observed, most of the audience members enjoyed it as much as I did.
     The satire and social commentary were sharp and in your face. Did some of it go too far? Yes. Could they have cut out all of the swearing? Most definitely. But then it would not have had the same impact.
     Parker and Stone are smart and witty creative geniuses. They are not about decency and decorum. They are about shock and awe. All of their works are over-the-top by design. They get people talking about controversial social issues. And that is the point. They are forcing a dialogue. In that, they have succeeded. Not to mention, they have made millions of dollars in the process. Good for them.
     If I still went to confession every week, this week’s session would start like this, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I loved The Book of Mormon and would definitely see it again.”
     The priest might give me five Our Fathers, ten Hail Marys and a Glory Be as my penance. But it would be worth it!
     Yes, I highly recommend this show, but only to people who are not easily offended. This show is not for ultra-conservative, deeply devout and/or religious people. The material is blasphemous and sacrilegious. If you will be making the sign of the cross or searching for your rosary beads when the “F” word and “God” are uttered in the same sentence, then do not go. I repeat, do not go.
     There might have been more “F” bombs dropped during this show than on any Sopranos episode, and I believe it rivaled the total in most Quentin Tarantino films.
     A dismayed friend could not understand how I enjoyed this performance. It was a clever artistic piece of work. Just because I appreciate a performance does not mean that I am going to stop believing in God or that I am going to run around swearing up a storm.
     I am Catholic, and I pray at least one rosary every day. But I can still laugh when something is smart and funny. And I never say the “F” word, let alone the “F” word and “God” in the same sentence. So, I think I’m good. But just in case, I’ll do my self-imposed penance anyway!

     For more information on The Book of Mormon, here’s the official link: http://bookofmormonbroadway.com/

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Happy Father’s Day!

     What can I say about my dad? He is the most hardworking, loving and intelligent man I know. He would do anything in the world for me, my brother and my mom. He is a good man. Plain and simple. Of course, there are times when he drives us all nuts, but that’s part of his quintessential charm.
     Dad is the life of every party. When his blue eyes twinkle, God only knows what he’s thinking or what’s coming next. He is definitely not the most politically correct person you will ever meet, but he is one of the most entertaining. The songs he wrote for his coworkers’ retirement parties were legendary. He even had backup singers. And those backup singers accompanied me during the retirement song I wrote and performed for him.
     People who meet my mother for the first time usually start the conversation with, “We always wondered who could put up with him. Is he like that all the time?”
     She answers, “Yes, he is. We’ve been together for over fifty years. And I haven’t killed him yet.”
     However, there were times when we wondered if he was trying to kill us. His vacations were death-defying adventures. Seriously. If we didn’t come close to getting maimed or killed, it wasn’t a good vacation. He got several ideas from those nice people in National Geographic. That should paint you a better picture right there.
     Imagine if you will a 9-year-old and a 12-year-old and their parents, wearing regular sneakers, carrying no food or water, clinging to chains driven into the side of a cliff with railroad spikes, navigating narrow ledges to reach Havasu Falls at the bottom of The Grand Canyon. Oh, I forgot to mention that we also had heavy camera equipment around our necks. That crazy family was us. We have the pictures and video to prove it.
     Growing up, Dad was the cool dad. He rigged up a car stereo and 6×9 speakers in the garage, so we could listen to music outside. He would play oldies or rock, sometimes country. This was while the neighbor across the street was broadcasting Willie Nelson, or the soundtrack from Evita or the soundtrack from Les Mis.
     Don’t get me wrong, I love Evita and Les Mis now, but listening to those soundtracks as a child was depressing. So, thank God, Dad’s system was louder. To this day, he still cranks it up loud. Of course now that might be because his hearing isn’t what it used to be.
     When he would bring home a new car, the neighborhood boys would come over to “oooh” and “aaah” over it. They’d ask tons of questions that he was more than happy to answer. Then he’d spend the next two hours washing it.
     I think I volunteered him to be the DJ for my 8th grade ’50s/’60s sock hop. He lugged his record player, a slew of records, stereo system and speakers to the school. Everybody, including the teachers, had a blast. He even came up with a trivia game and handed out prizes.
     In high school, he took me to all of the Father/Daughter Dinner Dances. We danced energetically to the fast songs. And we serenaded each other as we danced to the slow songs. We were quite the pair!
     He was proud when I followed in his footsteps and went to GMI Engineering & Management Institute. (It was General Motors Institute when he went there.) I was mortified when I had to explain my Dad’s nickname for me to my college roommate. She answered the phone, and he thought it was me and greeted her, “Hi, Poozlet!”
     Yeah, don’t ask.
     On my wedding day, we were alone in the bride’s room waiting to walk down the aisle. I was nervous, and he was making jokes trying to calm my nerves. But then he got serious for a moment. He said, “I’m assuming your mother had the talk with you.”
     Oh dear God. Did he really just say that? I’m going to die now. Of embarrassment or something. I laughed. Mom and I had the talk when I was ten years old.
      “Yeah, Dad. We had the talk.”
      “Okay. Good.”
     I wonder what he would have done if I had said, “No.” I can only imagine!
     Mom and Dad came to stay with me when I had cancer. I remember waking up from surgery. Mom wore her usual cheerful caregiver smile. But Dad had what we now jokingly refer to as “Dad Face.”
     “Dad Face” is the look he gets when he wants to fix whatever is wrong, but is helpless to do so. Because ultimately, it is out of his control. It’s a very concerned, worried, loving look.
     Mom and I learned quickly that we had to assign him some tasks. That way he felt useful and accomplished something.
     When I was going through my divorce, “Dad Face” returned. Heck, for a while, Mom even had “Dad Face.” Actually, almost everyone I knew had “Dad Face.” Hard not to since I was sobbing at the drop of a hat.
     Anyway, now that Dad’s retired, he’s busier than ever. When he’s not out washing his cars or doing yardwork, he’s fishing. He frequently says, “A bad day of fishing is still better than the best day at work.”
     Mr. Catch and Release has said it enough times, we believe him. Plus, he does come back with some really interesting fish stories. However, it still boggles the mind. This is a man who is always in a rush and hates waiting in lines. Yet, he will spend hours, days and sometimes weeks fishing. Sometimes on the shore or in a boat. Most of the time in waders standing chest deep in a stream.
     Fly fishing is his favorite type of fishing. Although he sometimes uses corn. Niblets to be precise. From a can. Apparently, it works. He’s catching a lot of fish with niblets. Who knew? Niblets!
     And when he’s not fishing, he’s planning meals. Breakfast with his brothers, Old Farts luncheons (his words, not mine), and dinners with everyone else my parents know. Their social calendar is booked out for weeks. They are popular people. Well, I guess with him you do get a meal and a comedy act.
     Most of all, my Dad wants me to be happy and feel loved. I consider myself very lucky, blessed, happy and loved because I have him for a Dad. And no matter how old I get, I will always be his little girl.

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

The Dreaded Oil Change

     Bright and early this morning, I brought my vehicle in for an oil change. It was a scheduled complimentary oil change at a nearby auto dealership. I groan just typing the words. I hate having the oil changed in my vehicle. Even for free. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to do it myself. But I am a woman, going into an auto dealership, and all I want is a simple oil change.
     In my mind, I had already formulated the extra things they were going to try to convince me that I “need.” The air filter was an absolute given. Other items in the potential running were fuel filter, brake pads, system flush, A/C recharge, tire rotation, or the ever popular dissertation on tire wear and how all the tires need to be replaced.
     I was greeted by a friendly customer service specialist, Ray. He was a smiley, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Not your typical specialist. Anyway, he was courteous and showed me to the waiting area.
     There were two other “guests” waiting already. They both ignored the television that had ESPN blaring. I brought a book to read, but the tv was so loud, I couldn’t concentrate.
     Dale Earnhardt Jr. won at Pocono. So, my dad’s happy. But California Chrome’s owner was anything but happy. By now, most of The Free World knew that. I give him credit for not stringing together a long bunch of expletives on camera. Lord knows he probably wanted to. And I loved how his wife (she was standing behind him) was poking him trying to get him to calm down during the interview. Priceless!
     I was saved from having to hear the baseball updates by the sudden wailing of a high-pitched screeching alarm. It wasn’t a car alarm. It was the building alarm. The other “guests” and I looked at each other briefly. They went back to what they were doing. I looked around to try to identify the problem. I didn’t smell smoke or see a fire. And there was an exit door directly in front of me. So, I could escape if the situation warranted.
     A guy walked out of his office and looked around in all directions before returning to his office. A second guy did the same thing. A few moments later, my buddy, Ray, came from the service area and looked around.
     I said, “That alarm is really annoying. Nobody seems to be turning it off.”
     He replied, “Huh! That’s odd.” Then he walked off.
     A minute or so later, a salesman walked to the keypad near the front door. He pressed something.
     Nothing.
     From an office, a voice yelled, “Just press ‘Silence.’”
     The salesman yelled back, “I did! It didn’t work!”
     The office voice shouted, “It should have!”
     The salesman shouted back, “It didn’t!”
     Another salesman appeared. “Did you press ‘Silence?’”
     Salesman #1 replied, “Yeah. It didn’t work.”
     Salesman #2 grunted. “Hmmm. Should’ve worked.”
     Salesman #3 approached, carrying a cup of coffee. “It needs a code.”
     Salesman #1 yelled, “Does anybody know the code?”
     The faceless office voice responded, “I don’t know the code. Does Joe know the code?”
     Salesman #2 said, “No. Joe doesn’t know the code.”
     Salesman #1 stated, “Somebody has to have the code.”
     Salesman #3 replied, “Doug knows the code.”
     Salesman #1 asked, “Where’s Doug?”
     Salesman #3 shrugged. “He’s not working today.”
     Salesman #1 swore, “Jesus Christ! Does anyone else know the code?!”
     The faceless office voice offered, “Let me ask Ann. She might know who has the code.”
     Sorry, but this was hysterical. I tried not to laugh out loud. But I guess I could have because they wouldn’t have heard me over the stupid alarm! I was also wondering where the police were. This was the building alarm. The cops should have shown up by now. We’re going on twenty minutes. My home ADT system dispatches the police to my house. They arrive in less than five minutes. How I know that is a story for another day!
     Anyway, as you might have guessed, Ann knew the code. She took care of the alarm. Thank you, Ann. Although why she didn’t take care of it without prompting was beyond me.
     By this time, Ray was approaching me with my air filter. I braced myself as he started his spiel.
     “No, thanks. I’ll keep it for a bit longer.” It didn’t look that terrible. My furnace filter has looked worse.
     Ray didn’t argue. He continued, “The wipers are a bit worn.”
     I declined those as well.
     Then he did the unimaginable. He said, “Okay,” and walked away.
     I was confused. I was prepared to say, “No,” at least a few more times. Huh!
     After signing the paperwork for $0.00, I left, smiling! The entire process took thirty-four minutes. That was the best oil change experience I’ve ever had. And they threw in a complimentary comedy act too! Bonus!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Doctors and Chemists and a Cowboy, Oh My!

     Welcome to the 5th installment of Mis-Matched to Miss Matched. I’m sure you’re wondering if I met a doctor who made house calls, or if I developed an organic relationship with a chemist, or if the cowboy was a stripper or an actual cowboy. There’s only one way to answer your questions. Read on!

     Perhaps it was time to have a doctor in the family. Bachelor #21 was a 45-year-old anesthesiologist. We agreed to meet for coffee. He was handsome and dressed like a professional golfer. But he showed up late. And he didn’t bother to text or call to let me know. A lady does not like to be kept waiting. Strike one.
     He asked me what I wanted to drink and got in line to order. When he returned, he had more than drinks. He purchased brunch. For himself. He didn’t offer me any food. He sat there eating in front of me. Strike two.
     The conversation wasn’t very stimulating. I actually think he could save hospitals money on anesthesia and sedatives by just talking to patients. Boring with a capital “B.”
     He asked how long I’d been divorced. I told him several months. I bounced the question back to him. He responded he wasn’t divorced. It was going to be too expensive. He was currently weighing his options.
     Well, I eliminated one option—me. Strike three. He’s out!

     Bachelor #22 was 50 years old and a surgeon. Another coffee date. However, this one arrived on time, in a black Mercedes. He had a certain air about him as he walked in. As we shook hands, I noticed his bling. Hard to miss it—thick gold chain around his neck, ostentatious rings and a Rolex watch.
     But as the Shania Twain song goes, “That don’t impress me much.” Sorry, but I’m more concerned with what’s inside a man’s head and heart than a flashy outer package. Always makes me wonder what they’re overcompensating for. Anyway…
     I sensed a God complex as soon as he started talking about his grand achievements. Don’t get me wrong, I admire people who accomplish great things. I just didn’t like how he bragged about them. Plus the fact that he wasn’t interested in me. When I told him that I had published a romance novel and a poetry book, I got that look. It’s the “Oh, you’re an artsy, fartsy type” look. I hate that look.
     It didn’t last long. He switched the conversation back to him. He loved to hear himself talk. I admired his perfect manicure as he chattered on.
     Fortunately, he had to get to the office.
     And I never heard from him again. Thank God.

     Fifty-three-year-old Bachelor #23 was a gastroenterologist. Some of my family members were thrilled at the idea of having one of those around. Seriously. My sister-in-law even told me that it didn’t matter what he’s like, I should “take one for the team.”
     Can you feel the love??
     We met for drinks. We had a great deal in common and were never at a loss for words. He was genuinely interesting.
     For those of you who know me, you know I only drink one drink if I will be driving later. One. Count it. One.
     “Have another drink.”
     “No, thank you. I only drink one drink.”
     “Oh, come on. Have another.”
     “No, thank you.” No means no!
     He yelled to the bartender, “Another drink for the lady.”
     I looked at the bartender. “I don’t want another drink. Can I have some water?”
     The doctor insisted, “Give her another drink.”
     “Don’t bother. I won’t drink it.”
     “Well, I ended up with the water and another drink.
     “You haven’t touched your drink.”
     “I told you that I wouldn’t.”
     “What’s the big deal?”
     “It’s not a big deal. But you’re making it one. When I say I’m not going to do something, I mean it.”
     “It’s just one drink.”
     I’m sensing major control issues. “I’m not drinking it.”
     “You should.”
     “No. Thank you for the drink that I did order. It’s time to call it a night.”
     He continued to contact me afterward. I told him to move on.
     Anyone who is that obsessed over getting me to drink something that I clearly don’t want has serious control issues. I can not even imagine what he would be like concerning important things. Yikes!

     I met Bachelor #24, an R&D Chemist, for dinner. The 50-year-old was interesting…on paper. In person, I felt like I was conducting an audit. If you’ve never been prepped for an audit, Rule #1 is: Stick to the facts. Rule #2 is: Do not elaborate.
     It was like pulling teeth. Some answers were one word. Others came in sentence form. Short sentences. I ended up talking most of the time because he wouldn’t.
     At least the food was really good. And I even had leftovers for the next night. So, it wasn’t a total loss.

     I gave another chemist a try. Number 25 picked the same restaurant as the last one. Wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Nevertheless, I knew the food would be good. So, I met the 42-year-old for dinner.
     This guy didn’t have any problems talking. He never shut up. But it was all negative stuff about his ex-wife. The language he used was downright ugly. It was offensive to me as a woman. Granted, she might have been exactly as he described her. But I did not want to hear it. I’m certain the couple behind him didn’t want to hear it. The woman kept giving me looks. She even followed me into the bathroom.
     “That guy you’re with is a jackass.”
     “Agreed. It’s a first date.”
     “Hopefully your last too.”
     “Yes. As soon as the check is paid, I’m out of here.”
     “I’d leave now if I were you. Slip out the back door.”
     I laughed. “My sweater is on my chair.”
     “I’d forget the sweater. Leave now.”
     “It’s a really nice sweater. It took me forever to find it.”
     “Suit yourself.”
     Luckily, he paid the check while I was powdering my nose. I invented a friend emergency and made a quick exit.

     Gather around the campfire for Bachelor #26. I don’t know what it is about cowboys that intrigues us women. Maybe it’s the rugged look about them. Or the fact that they seem to be able to handle any problem that arises better than MacGyver. Or perhaps it’s that they have manners and tip their hats. Or maybe it’s just the tight jeans…
     Although this 50-year-old bachelor had a real job during the day, his passion was his ranch. Our phone conversation was so exhilarating; I violated my “no pets” rule. The tone of his voice was incredible. I had to meet the man on the other end of the phone. Despite the fact that he had dogs and horses.
     Ladies, he did not disappoint. This rugged, clean-shaven hunk of a man wore a black fitted cowboy shirt to highlight his toned upper half. His jeans were broken in in all the right places. And his boots were polished nicely.
     Big & Rich’s song, “Save A Horse [Ride A Cowboy],” played in my head. Goodness! Is it hot in here or just me?
     He was absolutely fascinating. The hours flew by. We were the last people in the restaurant. The waiter vacuumed around us. We took that as our cue to leave. It was a delightful evening.
     As a gentleman should, he walked me to my car. He leaned in, gave me a quick hug and kiss, and he was on his way.
     As I watched him walk to his car, my throat started closing up. I grabbed two Benadryl and my emergency meds out of my purse and swallowed them all quickly. I drove toward home (and the hospital), Epi-pen in hand. Just in case.
     The coughing and wheezing subsided after about thirty minutes. At least I didn’t have to use the Epi-pen, and I didn’t end up in the ER.
     It also meant that no matter how fantastic he was, or how well we got along, or how good he looked in those jeans, there was no chance of a relationship with this man.
     I told him the news. He said that he regretted not kissing me deeply. Dear Lord, if he had, I have no doubt that I would have ended up in the hospital. Although, that would have made one heck of a story.

     Stay tuned for the next crazy episode, “I’m Not Like Other Guys.”

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Cast Spotlight: Judy Miller

Spotlight-PHOTO-for-Jude_1483-300x180Today’s spotlight is shining on Judy Miller, one of our fearless leaders! And it just so happens to be her birthday. So, Happy Birthday, Judy!

You are going to love Judy’s piece. I didn’t expect it to impact me as deeply as it did. You must hear it for yourself. Here is a link to her interview.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/23/cast-spotlight-judy-miller-2/

Get your tickets online. If you wait to buy them at the door, you must pay by cash or check.
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Anna Walker

Anna-300x271Today’s second spotlight is shining brightly on Anna Walker! Her story touched me deeply. And I’m sure it will impact you too. She has had more than her share of adversity. How she continues to handle it makes her an inspiration.

To learn more about Anna, check out her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/22/cast-spotlight-anna-walker/

And don’t forget to get your tickets!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Michelle McNally

303380_2856344586711_515674413_nToday’s first spotlight is on Michelle McNally. She is one of our fantastic producers and directors. She lights up a room just by stepping into it.

To learn more about this talented blogger, check out her interview!
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/21/cast-spotlight-michelle-mcnally-2/

If you haven’t bought your tickets yet, today would be a great day to do it. Today, 20% of ticket sales goes to Partners in Housing!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Terri Spilman

Terri-225x300Today’s Listen To Your Mother spotlight is shining brightly on Terri Spilman! As event organizers accurately point out, her story rocks! Hers is yet another story that you do not want to miss.

To learn more about Terri, check out her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/18/cast-spotlight-terri-spilman/

If you still need tickets, buy them as an Easter gift to yourself!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Suzanne Purewal

SuzanneToday, I get to shine the Listen To Your Mother spotlight on myself! My piece is about Mom and me. Some lines are so funny, I can hardly contain my laughter. So, I guarantee you will laugh out loud. I just hope I can keep it together during my performances!

I reveal several things in my interview with event organizers that I have never discussed before. So, if you want to learn more about me, click on this link!
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/17/cast-spotlight-suzanne-purewal/

Buy your tickets today! They’re going fast, and you don’t want to miss out!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Rebecca Hession

Rebecca_Hession_Headshot-280x300Today’s LTYM Cast Spotlight is on Rebecca Hession! I really loved Rebecca’s piece. And her blog is something else.

I guarantee that you want to be in the audience to hear what Rebecca has to say.

Here is her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/16/cast-spotlight-rebecca-hession/

Get your tickets today! They’re going fast!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Marge Summers

Marge_Headshot-200x300What a pleasure it is to cast a spotlight on Marge Summers. Her piece was so hysterical, I couldn’t stop laughing. She had us all in stitches. I can’t wait to hear her piece again. Because who couldn’t use a good laugh?

Here is her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/15/cast-spotlight-marge-summers/

If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, there’s still time!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Kim Gummere

Kim-289x300

Today’s Listen To Your Mother spotlight is shining on Kim Gummere! She is a talented writer. I wish I could share the topic of her piece, but that’s against the LTYM rules. So, you will just have to come out to hear it in person!

Here’s the link to Kim’s interview with event organizers.  http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/14/cast-spotlight-kim-gummere/

If you still need tickets, click here. https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Becky Wood

BeckyHeadShot1-199x300I am pleased to introduce my fellow cast member, Becky Wood! I was lucky enough to be paired up with her for our “getting to know you” session. Among other things, we learned that we both love chocolate, and we are allergic to cats. To learn more about Becky, check out her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/09/cast-spotlight-becky-wood/

Get your tickets today! Prices go up from $16 to $20 on April 15th! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Kerry Rossow

Kerry_Headshot-300x300In my opinion, you can never cast enough spotlights. So, today, I’m featuring a second cast member, Kerry Rossow!

Her piece is laugh out loud funny! She is also a NW Indiana Listen To Your Mother alum.

Check out her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/07/cast-spotlight-kerry-rossow/

Get your tickets now! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1