The Twelve Days of Christmas, With My Online Dating Twist

     Merry Christmas greetings to one and all! As part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series, I have penned yet another version of, The Twelve Days of Christmas, with my online dating twist. It’s destined to be a classic for sure!

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My Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
No man worth my membership fee.

On the second day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the third day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee. Continue reading

Unraveling

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Greetings, friends! My mind is stuck in poetry mode these days. So, today, I am sharing my poem, Unraveling. It is one of my favorite poignant poems. If you already have a copy of my poetry book, From 14 to 41, it can be found on page 12.

If you haven’t purchased it yet, I am running a special on all of my books. From 14 to 41, in particular, makes a great graduation gift. It has a great deal of inspirational and thought-provoking pieces.

All books ordered from my website will be signed by me, and I can dedicate them to the loved ones of your choice. Don’t delay, order today!

Finding My Way

     The last poem I posted, Harvest Day, was written during the darkest time in my life, my unexpected divorce. That’s right, it was worse than going through cancer. Not to minimize the hell that cancer was, because that ordeal was horrible. I knew I would beat cancer. But I did not think I would survive the divorce. I couldn’t sleep or eat. And although I lost a lot of weight, I do not recommend divorce as a weight-loss program!
     Eventually, I climbed out of the pit of despair and rejoined the land of the living. I wrote Finding My Way during that arduous climb.
Continue reading

Harvest Day

     In honor of National Poetry Month, here is one of the poems I wrote in Fall 2011. I wrote this poem, Harvest Day, on one dark day early in my divorce journey.
Continue reading

The Midwest Blues

     In honor of National Poetry Month, I will post some of my poems.

     This is a poem that I wrote for the Noble Writers’ Group. Each month there is an assignment. This assignment required us to write about a man and a woman meeting for the first time. We also had to use the words airplane, tractor, ocean, city and coast. And for some reason, I wrote it from the man’s point of view. Enjoy!

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The Midwest Blues

While I was riding along on Bessie, my old trusty tractor,
I came across a beauty of a woman. I had to swerve, so I didn’t smack her.
She gasped, “Oh my!” And I pulled over to the side.
She smiled and kindly asked if I could give her a ride.
“Sure ‘nuff. Where to my fine, fair lass?”
“To the closest city where I can order a tall, cool sassafras.”
“I know just the place. It’s up yonder, beyond the hill.”
“Get me there quickly, and I promise you a memorable thrill.”
I threw Bessie into gear and wished she would sprout wings.
Along the way, the temptress whispered in my ear unrepeatable things.
I delivered her as promised to the Land of Good and Plenty Grill and Bar.
After quenching her thirst, she stormed the stage and commandeered a guitar.
She grabbed the microphone and then she did boast
About how big of a music star she was on the West Coast.
“I opened for Jefferson Airplane and was a backup singer for Billy Ocean.
And here I’m stuck in the Midwest amid the cornfields and Amish in Goshen.”
Then she started to sing and her voice was the sweetest I’d ever heard.
And when she strummed the last chord, no one spoke a word.
However, the applause was thunderous and filled her with delight.
She approached me and said, “I promised you an unforgettable night.”
We disappeared and true to her word, for the next hour she rang my bell.
The devil’s in the details. However, a true gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

Copyright © 2011 by Suzanne Purewal

My Christmas Poem 2014

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     I am sharing my Christmas poem with all of you this year. I started writing an annual Christmas poem in 1997. I wanted to amuse my friends and family while updating them of the year’s events.

     If you have not received one of my Christmas poems before, let me explain a bit about it. The first stanza of the poem deals with world events. Then it’s all about me. My brother and his family follows. My parents’ adventures are next. Then I wrap it up with happy seasonal thoughts.

     Wishing you and your families a very Merry Christmas!

CHRISTMAS 2014

Violence dominated the headlines during every month of this year,
Pausing only slightly during the buzz surrounding Kim Kardashian’s rear.
The Ebola epidemic in Africa continues to create a worldwide stir.
And panic ensued when, in the United States, the disease did occur.
Now bumped from the headlines, it was replaced with a CIA scandal
And the avalanche of cases that Bill Cosby’s lawyers need to handle.

I have been busy writing in all of my spare time,
Mostly novel ideas and an occasional clever rhyme.
Daily, I read through a barrage of Match.com e-mails hoping to find
A man who intrigues me, who appears intelligent and kind.
Ultimately, I resort to eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
Could this lucky bachelor be my perfect new beau?
I have prayed to God and even asked Santa for Mr. Right.
Alas, it has not happened. Thus continues my search and plight!

Timmy and Martha moved to the country and have a beautiful view.
Beyond the trees, there’s a boat to paddle around the pond of blue.
Sasha’s daughters, Sophie and Carmen, get bigger every day.
Haily’s first year in college has kept her busy and away.
Devin has his permit and will have his driver’s license soon.
Mychaela has decorated her bedroom to her own happy tune.

The Black Friday deals for flat screens beckoned to Dad.
He yearned to replace the old heavy tv in the bedroom they had.
Mom shook her head. “It’s not something we need.”
So he snuck out alone and discretely committed the deed.
Having a mind of its own, the old tv crashed on the stairs and Dad’s knee.
At that tipping point, it was too late to recover and just let it be.
And so, in a million pieces, it did tumble, crumble and crack.
Apparently, Mom swore while chasing after Dad with a hand-held vac.

May your Christmas be white, once you arrive at your destination.
And may the joy of the season fill your hearts without trepidation.
Be generous and kind to all of the people you meet.
Remember your nice word or smile might make their day complete.
Whether this poem finds you far from home or quite near,
I wish you and your family a Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Fright or Delight?

     My quest to find a good, decent man is becoming epic in length. But I refuse to give up! So, here is the latest and greatest in my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating saga.

     There once was a man who was prolific in poem and prose.
     He had a quick wit. Let’s meet. Why not? Who knows?
     Alas, his memory was lacking, he called me by the wrong name,
     Despite me correcting him over and over. How totally lame.
     Was this other woman his ex-girlfriend or an ex-wife?
     I cared not, for I was cutting him out of my life.

     The next eager bachelor was an eHarmonious man
     Who unfortunately decided to try a product to self-tan.
     Since he was not an Oompa Loompa, orange was an awful hue.
     Why he did not realize this while looking in the mirror, I have no freaking clue.
     However, it was his obnoxious behavior that upset me the most.
     Being rude and insensitive caused him to end up as a jerk in this post.

     Then there was a guy who promised me a special surprise.
     When the big reveal occurred, I could hardly believe my eyes.
     If I was watching a horror movie, I would have yelled for the girl to run.
     Touring ramshackle buildings buried deep in the woods is not my idea of fun.
     Any chemistry that might have existed was extinguished pretty fast.
     What a huge letdown after being psyched up for an absolute blast.

     After each date, to Mom, the obligatory email I did write,
     So she wouldn’t be pacing the floor half of the night,
     Worried that I was dead in a ditch or suffering an even worse fate.
     “Home safe and sound.” Another zero of a date.
     “A total waste of makeup,” is what I eventually would type.
     It sums up the evening well without painfully boring details or hype.

     So that, gentle readers, is all I have to tell.
     Perhaps the month of October will cast an enchanting spell.
     Could the eclipse of the blood moon help me find my “Mr. Right?”
     Or will it bring more ghouls and goblins to give me an awful fright?
     Those are the questions that I seek the answers for.
     Stay tuned, my friends, you never know what’s in store!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal