Booktoberfest Author Fair – November 4th!

2017 Booktoberfest author flyers

Meet and mingle with your favorite local authors! With this diverse literary group, there is something for everyone! Buy personalized, autographed copies of our books for yourself and your family and friends who are book lovers!

There will be chances to win books and prizes. Light refreshments will be served.

I have three new books out this year. So, I hope to see you there!

The Twelve Days of Christmas, With My Online Dating Twist

     Merry Christmas greetings to one and all! As part of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series, I have penned yet another version of, The Twelve Days of Christmas, with my online dating twist. It’s destined to be a classic for sure!

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My Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
No man worth my membership fee.

On the second day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee.

On the third day of Christmas, online dating gave to me,
Three convicted felons,
Two e-mails from women,
And no man worth my membership fee. Continue reading

Asking for Support on Small Business Saturday

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     It’s Small Business Saturday! So I am asking you to support my business by purchasing my books. They make great gifts since they can be dedicated and personalized!
     By purchasing my romantic suspense novels or my poetry book via my website, not only are you helping out a starving author, but you’ll be contributing to help someone in need. This month, I am donating a portion of my book sales’ proceeds to the Save a Warrior program. This unique program helps people struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress. Continue reading

Author, Poet and Humorist, Suzanne Purewal

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     I will be appearing at the 67th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion, booth #303. I will be signing books every day of the show, running from Wednesday, November 9th through Sunday, November 13th.
     To honor our active duty military members, Veterans and first responders, I am also donating a portion of this month’s book sales’ proceeds to the Save A Warrior Program.

     What can I say about myself that you don’t already know? You know I’m a cancer survivor. I got downsized from my job several years ago. And the trilogy of doom was rounded out with that unexpected divorce.
     But I am still standing, despite the efforts of all of those evil doers! Obviously, I was meant to follow a different path.
     What path that is, I have no clue. There were a few times when I thought I knew. But time after time, I hit a major construction zone and was sent on yet another freaking detour because the bridge was out.
     I hated construction orange before this odyssey began. So imagine how I feel about it when I see it now!
     Portions of this journey have left me exhausted. It’s the nature of the beast. Walking uphill, both ways, in a blinding snow storm will do that to you. So will moving your parents from New York to Florida when you live in Indiana.
     I initially had grand writing plans for this year. But you all know that life happens while you’re making other plans. And that is exactly what happened to me.
     If you missed my posts on my family vacation and moving my parents, then scroll down to read them. You will laugh yourself silly.
     If you are short on time, the gist is that my parents are determined to kill me. And because I am a good daughter, well that and because of Catholic guilt, I let them keep trying.
     But you already knew that I was a glutton for punishment because I persist with online dating.
     But seriously folks, I continue on this strange and unpredictable journey because I can’t wait to see what happens next. And I am hopeful that you will stick around to experience it with me!

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     Last year, I released my latest romantic suspense novel, Challenging Destiny! It is the sequel to Embracing Destiny. The exciting adventure continues with some of your favorite characters – Sara Taylor, Joe Lazaro, and everyone’s favorite Italian mother, Rose Lazaro.
     Sara Taylor’s life is finally coming together. She feels at peace. However, Joe stumbles across a clandestine operation. Any leak would put him and his loved ones in danger. Still reeling from his discovery, a secret from Joe’s past rears its ugly head. Then the unthinkable happens – the worlds collide. Will this battle bring Sara and Joe closer together? Or will they become collateral damage in the fallout?

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     My first romantic suspense novel, Embracing Destiny, follows Sara Taylor – a woman standing at a crossroad. An unexpected event sets her on a journey. Outside forces intervene, and danger lurks in every shadow.

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     My poetry book, From 14 to 41, contains soulful poems that capture the essence of life. A blend of love, loss, whimsical and inspirational pieces, readers are drawn in as the raw emotions leap from the pages.
     My blog, the one you are currently reading, Pursuing My Passion, is an outlet for my unique storytelling style, sense of humor and sarcastic wit. The most popular posts are from my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series. The entries are all true stories based on my online dating adventures.

     In other news, I am the coordinator for the Local Authors’ booth for the Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. So, if you are an Indiana author and would like to participate next year, please let me know. As soon as this year’s show closes, I will be accepting applications for next year’s show.

Click here to purchase my books. I can sign and dedicate them prior to shipping. Right now, you can enjoy free shipping! So, get those Christmas gift lists started!

Kindle versions of Embracing Destiny and Challenging Destiny are available on Amazon

You can leave book reviews on:
FB: Suzanne Purewal, Author Page
Goodreads: Suzanne Purewal on Goodreads

Unraveling

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Greetings, friends! My mind is stuck in poetry mode these days. So, today, I am sharing my poem, Unraveling. It is one of my favorite poignant poems. If you already have a copy of my poetry book, From 14 to 41, it can be found on page 12.

If you haven’t purchased it yet, I am running a special on all of my books. From 14 to 41, in particular, makes a great graduation gift. It has a great deal of inspirational and thought-provoking pieces.

All books ordered from my website will be signed by me, and I can dedicate them to the loved ones of your choice. Don’t delay, order today!

Not So Helpful Dating Advice

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     Hello, friends! As my quest for a boyfriend continues through my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series, many of you have offered well-intentioned advice. I appreciate that you all care enough to make suggestions. However, I believe some of the suggestions are slightly off the mark.
     The most common advice I have received is:
Continue reading

Finding My Way

     The last poem I posted, Harvest Day, was written during the darkest time in my life, my unexpected divorce. That’s right, it was worse than going through cancer. Not to minimize the hell that cancer was, because that ordeal was horrible. I knew I would beat cancer. But I did not think I would survive the divorce. I couldn’t sleep or eat. And although I lost a lot of weight, I do not recommend divorce as a weight-loss program!
     Eventually, I climbed out of the pit of despair and rejoined the land of the living. I wrote Finding My Way during that arduous climb.
Continue reading

Calling All Indiana Authors!

Greetings Fellow Indiana Authors!

I am the coordinator for the Local Authors Booth at the 67th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, Wednesday, November 9th – Sunday, November 13th, 2016. We still have author slots available.

The show will be held at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion, 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205.

This venue has been very successful over the years for local authors to sell their books.

You may sign up for as many time slots as you wish. The prices are: $75 per author, per time slot. The fee includes a linen-covered 5 ft table, one chair, storage space, the website feature, an author’s badge, an exhibitor helper’s badge, a parking pass, and two tickets for friends/family. The badges and parking pass are good for free entry for the entire five days of the show. If you need an extra chair, there is a one-time $10 charge.

If you are interested in participating in this event, email me at purewalpublishing@gmail.com, and I will send you the application form.

Although I will accommodate as many authors as possible, there is limited space.

I look forward to working with you! If you have any questions, please contact me.

Thank you!

Suzanne Purewal

The Midwest Blues

     In honor of National Poetry Month, I will post some of my poems.

     This is a poem that I wrote for the Noble Writers’ Group. Each month there is an assignment. This assignment required us to write about a man and a woman meeting for the first time. We also had to use the words airplane, tractor, ocean, city and coast. And for some reason, I wrote it from the man’s point of view. Enjoy!

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The Midwest Blues

While I was riding along on Bessie, my old trusty tractor,
I came across a beauty of a woman. I had to swerve, so I didn’t smack her.
She gasped, “Oh my!” And I pulled over to the side.
She smiled and kindly asked if I could give her a ride.
“Sure ‘nuff. Where to my fine, fair lass?”
“To the closest city where I can order a tall, cool sassafras.”
“I know just the place. It’s up yonder, beyond the hill.”
“Get me there quickly, and I promise you a memorable thrill.”
I threw Bessie into gear and wished she would sprout wings.
Along the way, the temptress whispered in my ear unrepeatable things.
I delivered her as promised to the Land of Good and Plenty Grill and Bar.
After quenching her thirst, she stormed the stage and commandeered a guitar.
She grabbed the microphone and then she did boast
About how big of a music star she was on the West Coast.
“I opened for Jefferson Airplane and was a backup singer for Billy Ocean.
And here I’m stuck in the Midwest amid the cornfields and Amish in Goshen.”
Then she started to sing and her voice was the sweetest I’d ever heard.
And when she strummed the last chord, no one spoke a word.
However, the applause was thunderous and filled her with delight.
She approached me and said, “I promised you an unforgettable night.”
We disappeared and true to her word, for the next hour she rang my bell.
The devil’s in the details. However, a true gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

Copyright © 2011 by Suzanne Purewal

My Big, Fat Greek Tragedy

MasksComedyTragedy     If there was any doubt that my life is a Greek tragedy in the making, this episode of “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” should solidify the notion in everyone’s minds.
     This installment’s bachelor is a well-known businessman in this area. So, all I will say is that he was in his early 50s and had blond hair and blue eyes.
     Initially, when he contacted me, I turned him down. One of the descriptors in his Match profile did not sit right with me. And I explained in my reply that descriptor was why I was turning him down.
     He wrote me a long email in return, clarifying his position and dispelling any incorrect impressions I had. His arguments were good ones. So, I agreed to talk to him.
     We talked and hit it off. We wanted to meet. However, he was in Florida vacationing with his kids. We would meet when he returned. Despite him being on vacation, we spoke every day.
     Then, my dad had a heart attack. So, I was driving to New York as this intriguing man was about to drive back to Indiana.
     God just loves messing with me.
     My potential suitor understood, and we kept talking on the phone.
     Finally, we were in the same city at the same time. So, after talking for almost three weeks, we met for dinner. We got along splendidly. Our likes and dislikes were the same in just about all areas, including politics and religion. That, in and of itself, was amazing.
     He grew up on the East Coast, just like me. Loved to travel. Loved live theater and musicals! Yes, musicals! Where had he been hiding all of this time?
     Well, most of the time, he was working, networking or attending his kids’ activities. He had the busiest calendar I had ever seen. He could not plan out more than a week ahead because meetings and events were constantly being added to his schedule by his assistant and his kids. But he swore he would make time for me. And he did try.
     In the days that followed, we talked for hours on end, about everything and anything. The conversation never got stale or boring. The more we got to know one another, the more perfect we seemed for each other. The similarities were uncanny.
     Drinking and smoking were not issues. Awesome!
     His children were older. Another bonus.
     He had no pets and had no intention of ever owning one. Thank you, Jesus!
     Pinch me already!
     Anyway, everything was going pretty well until it was time to meet his friends. That’s when the bottom dropped out.
     While Mr. Seemingly-Perfect did not have any pets, every single one of his friends did. These friends were his work colleagues as well as his personal friends. He spent almost all of his time with these people. And from what he told me about them, they were the best friends a person could ask for. I’m sure I would have agreed.
     But the conundrum was that they all entertained in their houses. You know, where the animals lived.
     If you have not read my previous posts on the subject, my allergic reaction to animals is anaphylactic. So, I can not be around animals. Extended exposure to them could literally kill me.
     Meeting his friends out at a restaurant would have been fine. I suggested that. But in the long run, that would not have been feasible or sustainable, as they all loved to entertain at their homes. Each had an elaborate backyard oasis, fire pit, and/or boat, etc.
     Then there was his buddy’s lake house. I absolutely love lake houses because I love sitting by a lake, looking out at the water and listening to the water lap up on the shore. And there’s nothing quite like watching the sun rise or set over the water.
     That’s one of the biggest things I miss about living in New York. I really miss being close to a large body of water. Growing up minutes from Lake Ontario was a luxury I did not fully appreciate until I moved to Indiana, land of small, man-made lakes. But I digress…
     Alas, there were always animals at his buddy’s lake house. The owner brought his pets and allowed everyone to bring their pets too. Well, just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.
     I could not in good conscience ask him to pick between me and his friends. He’s known some of them for over twenty years. If I kept him from them, he would become resentful. And I would feel guilty.
     And if he always went over to his friends’ houses and to the lake house without me, I would become resentful. And presumably, he would feel guilty.
     We discussed the situation rationally. No compromise was suitable, and he picked his friends.
     I will not lie. I am extremely disappointed. But let’s face it; I could never compete with them, the lifestyle to which he had grown accustomed, the boats and the lake house.
     How pitiful is that? We can’t have a relationship because of other people’s pets.
     Heavy sigh.
     Animals are truly the bane of my existence.

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal

Just Say, “No!”

no     Welcome to my first 2015 installment of my online dating series, “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched.” According to online dating statistics, January 4th is the biggest sign-up day for their sites. That gave me a new glimmer of hope. Although, so far, Indianapolis’ bachelors seem to be singing the same old song – same tune, just different words.

     The initial contact email from one guy read, “My view of your profile indicates we are a 97% match. If we were any more alike, you would have strong biceps and I would have boobs.”
     I have to assume he thought I would find that funny. He guessed wrong. I could not find words to reply. I take that back. I did have words. I just did not want to engage him in conversation. Any guy that uncouth in an introductory email did not deserve a reply.

     A retired sales executive, who was out of my desired age range, contacted me and said he did not have pets and thought we were a perfect match. His profile indicated he was a cigar aficionado and ultimate sun worshiper. So, I had my doubts.
     Among other questions, I inquired, “How often do you smoke?”
     He replied, “I don’t smoke. Well, occasionally, a stogie and of course pot.”
     Of course pot???
     This is not Colorado or Amsterdam, the last time I checked. This man was in his late 50s. He was not some punk kid or Olympian gold medalist, Michael Phelps.
     “I don’t do drugs and will not date anyone who does. So if getting high is part of your life, then this is where our conversation ends.”
     And that was the end of that.

     The next bachelor’s email claimed he was a gemologist from New York City. He went on about how the family business takes him all over the world.
     Not interested, I replied, “You live over 700 miles away. So I’m not sure why you’re looking in Indiana. Logistically, it doesn’t make any sense. I’m not looking for a long distance relationship.”
     “If I find the right woman, I shall relocate to be closer to her or even live in the same house with her.”
     Oh, I bet you would like living off of a woman, wouldn’t you?
     “No. Best of luck to you.”
     “It will interest you to know that I have been thinking of you all day and I really want this to work between us and as of the distance that shouldn’t be a problem because like I said earlier that I shall be relocating closer to you. All what I need now to bail myself out of financial struggle is just 25,000 dollars and I have 21,000 already what I need is 4000 can you help me YES or NO no long mails and explanation.”
     “NO!”
     Wow! It’s bad enough that he was trying to swindle me out of money, but to demand an answer immediately, with no explanation, that’s so ridiculous. Apparently, he was an impatient thief and did not want to waste time if he wasn’t going to get a payoff. I hoped I would not hear from this scammer again. No such luck.
      “Why the silent? A friend in salt lake want to transfer me money into account but I can not access my account here so I was thinking if they can transfer the money into your account when you get it, you will send it to me using western union the amount is about 5000 or 6000 can you help me? I need money urgently here in Turkey to get out of here.”
     Turkey can have you!
     The fatal flaw in this scammer’s logic is that the friend could send the money via Western Union. I think it could be a ring of foreign thieves because the English in the initial communication was good. It went downhill with each subsequent exchange. Who knows.
     It worries me that some people might be gullible enough to fall for this scam. I reported him, but his profile and any trace of him were gone.
     Beware of low-life scammers! They are everywhere!

     After talking for the good part of a week, I went to dinner with a project manager from the south side of Indianapolis. I liked that he preferred talking to texting. I found that encouraging. When we met, I realized he was a little bit country, and I was a little bit rock and roll. He seemed uncomfortable and out of his element at the restaurant. But he was polite, and we had a nice time. I was hemming and hawing about whether to go on another date with him.
     The following day, I received a text from an unknown number.
     “Why the f*** do you have my f***ing number saved? Get out of here and leave me and him’s relationship ALONE. Bye now.”
     It was followed by an emoticon of an expressive hand. Use your imagination.
     Huh? Nice mouth! And me and him’s??
     I felt bad for the poor, functionally illiterate woman with the cheating boyfriend.
     Believing it was a wrong number, I replied, “I have no idea who you are or who you’re talking about. I think you have the wrong number.”
     No response.
     About an hour later, I got a call from the guy. “I’m sorry, but I’m not over my ex. Just wanted to let you know. I’m gonna take myself off Match. I shouldn’t date until I’m over her. Sorry.”
     Are you kidding me?
     Maybe it wasn’t a wrong number after all. I could not believe it. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. He used me to make his ex jealous. Wow! That was a new low.

     The next bachelor also liked talking on the phone. We met at a café. He appeared nervous and claimed he had butterflies in his stomach about meeting me or possibly it was a lactose intolerance problem. Okay, no big deal.
     However, about an hour into our conversation, which was pretty one-sided, he departed for the bathroom. Upon returning, he announced he was really sick, the “I need to spend the day in the bathroom” kind of sick. He confessed he had been ill since the previous day.
     I wished him well, literally, and we parted ways.
     What kind of person shows up sick to a first date? It was a complete and utter lack of respect and common courtesy.
     People, if you are sick, stay home and reschedule!
     He contacted me days later to say that he did not remember anything about our date or what we discussed. He said he remembered he liked me and my cleavage, but that was all. He wanted another date.
     Um, no. My cleavage and I think not.

     I have no rational explanation for why the men in this area are so relationship-challenged. If anyone has a theory, then I’m all ears. Better yet, if you know of a decent single guy, send him my way. The Law of Averages dictates there has to be some decent guys out there somewhere!

Copyright © 2015 by Suzanne Purewal

Featuring Sports Writer and Author, Terry Hutchens

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     Sports writer and author, Terry Hutchens will be appearing at the The 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. He will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 5:30 PM – 9:00 PM.

     Terry is the site publisher for AllHoosiers.com, the Scout.com site that covers Indiana University athletics. He has been in that position since July of 2013. Prior to that, Terry spent the previous 22 years at the Indianapolis Star where he covered IU football and basketball his final 15 seasons at the paper. During that span, Terry was honored as Indiana’s Sportswriter of the Year five times, including four years in a row.

     Terry has written five books, including his latest title, Hoosiers Through and Through, which looks at the top IU basketball players of all time who are from the state of Indiana.

     His other books include: Rising From The Ashes: The Return of Indiana University Basketball, which was published in 2012, Never Ever Quit, in 2009, Hep Remembered, in 2007 and Let ‘Er Rip, in 1995.

Hoosiers Through and Through

     He also wrote the latest 11 chapters of the update to the Indiana University Basketball Encyclopedia, originally penned by Jason Hiner. Terry also teaches part-time in the IU School of Journalism at Indiana University, in Bloomington, and has done so at either IU Bloomington or IUPUI for the past 15-20 years.

     Terry and his wife Susan live in Indianapolis and have two grown sons. Bryan, 23, graduated from Wabash College and now works for Eli Lilly and Co., and Kevin, 21, is a junior studying Music at Belmont University in Nashville, Tenn.

To learn more about Terry, connect with him:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FoxSportsHutch
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Terry-Hutchens/e/B001K8KW9A/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Local Authors Appearing at The 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show

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     This is the signing schedule for the Local Authors’ Booth at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. The street address is: 1202 East 38th Street, Indianapolis, IN 46205.

     Our booth number is #310. We are located in the center aisle, across from Santa and his reindeer.

     I have attached a discount coupon for $3 off admission. It can be used any day of the show. And here is a link to the show’s website: http://hsishows.com/wp/christmasgiftandhobbyshow/

     Please come out and support your local authors! Signed and dedicated books make great Christmas, birthday and other occasion gifts!

Wednesday, November 5th, 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal
Wednesday, November 5th, 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal

Thursday, November 6th, 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM – Tia Catalina, M. Katherine Clark, Jillian Jacobs, Suzanne Purewal
Thursday, November 6th, 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM – Molly Daniels, Suzanne Purewal

Friday, November 7th, 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM – Kermit N. Paddack, Suzanne Purewal
Friday, November 7th, 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM – Ruth Ann Hanley, Terry Hutchens, Suzanne Purewal, Phillip B. Wilson

Saturday, November 8th, 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Kristen Mott, Phillip B. Wilson
Saturday, November 8th, 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM – Ruth Ann Hanley, Suzanne Purewal, Phillip B. Wilson

Sunday, November 9th, 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM – M. Katherine Clark, Suzanne Purewal, Morgan K. Wyatt

Featuring Romance Author, Poet and Humorist, Suzanne Purewal

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     Yes, I am featuring myself. I have featured all of my fellow authors. Why leave myself out?

     I will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. I will be signing books every day of the show, running from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th.

     The Local Authors’ Booth is Booth #310. It is located in the center aisle, across from Santa and his reindeer. The complete signing schedule will be posted on this blog later today.

     I am an author, poet, humorist and motivational speaker. Battling cancer, being downsized and enduring an unexpected divorce have provided ample fuel for my work. You can not control what happens in life, but keeping a healthy outlook is the most important thing you can do for yourself, no matter what the challenge.

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     My romance novel, Embracing Destiny, follows Sara Taylor – a woman standing at a crossroad. An unexpected event sets her on a journey. Outside forces intervene, and danger lurks in every shadow. Although written as a stand-alone novel, the feedback from readers is compelling me to write a sequel. Look for Challenging Destiny to be released in 2015.

     My poetry book, From 14 to 41, contains soulful poems that capture the essence of life. A blend of love, loss, whimsical and inspirational pieces, readers are drawn in as the raw emotions leap from the pages.

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     My blog, the one you are currently reading, Pursuing My Passion, features original work as well as material from guest bloggers following their passions.

     The most popular posts are from my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” dating series. The entries are all true stories based on my online dating adventures on Match.com. Although I am getting a lot of entertaining and humorous material, I would rather find a decent man!

     My work has appeared in The Polk Street Review and in An Evening with the Writing Muse. I was featured as the Author of the Month in the September/October 2011 issue of Pen It! Magazine.

     I have also been making the rounds on the speaking and lecture circuit. I was the Keynote Speaker at the 2013 LadiesEveningOut Event in Indianapolis. I have been the Featured Author and Speaker at several events in the Indianapolis area, most notably, the 2012 and 2013 Writers’ Conferences. In my spare time, I also conduct various writing and poetry workshops.

     I am a member of The International Women’s Writing Guild, The Writers’ Center of Indiana, The Noble Writers’ Group, The Noble Poets Group and Friends of the Hamilton East and North Public Libraries. For the past twenty-one years, I have resided in Noblesville, IN.

Casting a Spotlight on Up-and Coming Author, Jillian Jacobs

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     One of today’s spotlights is shining on up-and-coming author, Jillian Jacobs. Jillian will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. She will be promoting the release of her first novel, Water’s Threshold, on Thursday, November 6th, from 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM.

     In the spring of 2013, Jillian Jacobs changed her career path and became a romance writer. After reading for years, she figured writing a romance would be quick and easy. Nope! With the guidance of the Indiana Romance Writers of America chapter, she’s learned there are many “rules” to writing a proper romance. Being re-schooled has been an interesting journey, and she hopes the best trails are yet to be traveled.

     Coming November 11th, 2014: The Elementals Series, Book 1 Water’s Threshold.

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     Water’s Threshold, the first in Jillian’s Elementals series, was a finalist in Chicago-North’s 2014 Fire and Ice contest in the Women’s Fiction category.

     Here is a teaser for the book:

     What happens when a lonely water-girl finally finds her shore? In a tourist town at the base of the Tetons, Maya Conway, a mythical being known as an Elemental, stands at a crossroads. On her current path, she is content using her life force—water—to protect humans and the environment. Her direction is altered when Mother Nature taps her to guide Terran Forrester, an analytical scientist, on his journey to become the next Elemental—Earth. If Maya crosses into his world, will her lonely heart find a partner or will his rational mind reject her otherworldly existence? When an ancient evil evolved from dark matter shadows their steps, which path will they choose—logic or love?

     Jillian is a: Tea Guzzler, Polish Pottery Hoarder, and lover of all things Moose. The genres she writes under are: Paranormal and Contemporary with suspenseful elements.

     To learn more about Jillian, connect with her:

Social Media Links:
Website: http://www.jillianjacobs.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GreenMooseProd
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorJillianJacobs

Featuring Tia Catalina, Romantic Suspense Author

Photo_2     Tia Catalina, romantic suspense author, will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, West Pavilion. She will be signing books on Thursday, November 6th, from 10:00 AM – 3:00 PM.

     Tia has never had a real job. Having been self-employed for most of her adult life, she decided several years ago to make a change. She joined the Indiana chapter of the Romance Writers of America and the National Sisters in Crime.

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     She lives in central Indiana with her husband and a spoiled pooch named Brandolina Jolie, or something not fit for print when the dog is chewing on the downspouts and digging up the landscaping.

     To learn more about Tia Catalina and her work, connect with her:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/tia.catalina.77@facebook.com
Fan Page: http://facebook/tia.catalina.77@facebook.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/tiacatalina@CatalinaWinter6
Email: tiacatalina@live.com
Website: http://www.tiacatalina.com

Featuring Romance Author, Morgan K. Wyatt

IMG_5285     Today’s spotlight is on romance author, Morgan K Wyatt. She will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. She will be signing books on Sunday, November 9th, from 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM.

     Here is the teaser for Morgan’s latest release, The Soul Mate Search:

     Nina can’t control love in her ordered universe. It has eluded her until a mysterious fortune teller, Helena, reveals she’s already met her soul mate. Three times in fact and has only four times remaining before he passes from her life forever. A magic crystal ball allows her to see what he looked like several years ago, but no address. Helena warns her if she forces the meeting it won’t happen. Tony’s life has hit a major rough spot with Sheila kicking him out of his house when he discovers her in bed with another man. If that wasn’t bad enough, she spreads rumors that she’s afraid of him because he’s abusive. What did he do to deserve this? All he ever wanted was to love one woman until he died. At this rate, he’s destined to die alone. It will take magic to meet his soul mate.

The Soul Mate

     Morgan was raised on a steady diet of superheroes, believed she could fly at a very young age. After using trees, barn lofts, sliding boards, and even a second story window as launch pads, she found her flying skills were limited to fast and downward. By the age of nine, her dreams to be a superhero needed some modifications, which caused her to turn to writing and horseback riding as alternatives to flying.

     At the age of twenty, she had another chance at superhero greatness as being one of the few female soldiers trained for combat. The fact that women will be able to serve in combat soon indicates that all the witnesses to the grenade incident have retired. The grenade incident didn’t prevent her two sons or daughter-in-law from enlisting in the service. Having different last names probably helped.

     Morgan recently retired from teaching special needs students to write full-time, instead of in the wee hours of the night. With the help of her helpful husband and loyal hound, she creates characters who often grab plot lines and run with them. As for flying, she prefers the airlines now.

     To learn more about Morgan K. Wyatt and her work, check out all of her websites and blogs:

http://www.morgankwyatt.com

http://www.facebook.com\AuthorMorganKWyatt

Twitter  Goodreads  Pinterest  Amazon

www.datingafterfortyeight.blogspot.com

www.frugaldivatellsall.blogspot.com

www.lowcarbbeliever.weebly.com

www.writerwonderland.weebly.com

Casting the Spotlight on Sports Writer and Author, Phillip B. Wilson

PhilB1foldedarms
     Today’s featured author is sports writer, Phillip B. Wilson. He will be appearing at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. He will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM, and Saturday, November 8th, from 10:00 AM – 9:00 PM.

     Phillip B. Wilson is author of 100 Things Colts Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, released last September through Triumph Books. It’s more than just a guide on how to become a better fan. It is the ultimate book for those who bleed blue.Phillip B book

     Phil B. relies on his 15 years of covering the Colts to provide behind-the-scenes stories and unique content never before shared with the public.

     After working at The Indianapolis Star for 20 years, he accepted a job at Scout.com in August as Publisher of http://www.ColtsBlitz.com and http://www.PacersPress.com Web pages.

     Phil B., 49, lives on the Southside with his wife, Dee, and two children, Morgan and Brandon.

     To learn more about Phillip B. Wilson, his work and the Colts, check out his other websites:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/100-Things-Colts-Fans-Should-Know-Do-Before-They-Die/630627120311165
http://www.triumphbooks.com/100-things-colts-fans-should-know—do-before-they-die-products-9781600788406.php?page_id=21

Featuring Local Sports Author Kermit N. Paddack

kermitpaddack     Today’s featured author, Kermit N. Paddack, has written two books about local Indiana sports teams, including his alma mater, Sheridan High School. He will be signing books at the 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show on Friday, November 5th, from 10:00 AM – 3:30 PM.

     Kermit N. Paddack grew up near Sheridan, Indiana and graduated from Sheridan High School in 2002. As a third generation Sheridan football player, he developed a keen interest in the history of high school sports programs, an interest that has led to much research and many projects (past and future).

     After high school, Kermit attended Purdue University where he majored in history. He then went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in Library Science from Indiana University.

Tiger Basketball A Lebanon Passion

     In 2012, he published his first book, Sheridan High School Football, History and Tradition. In 2013, he published, Tiger Basketball, A Lebanon Passion.

     An organization that he works with, and that is near and dear to his heart, is the Indiana High School Basketball Historical Society. Found at http://www.indianabasketballhistory.com.

Sheridan Football
     Kermit lives with his wife and their daughter in Lebanon and works at the Hussey-Mayfield Memorial Public Library in Zionsville. He also maintains that although both of his brothers had more successful athletic careers, he is still the most handsome of the three brothers.

     To learn more about Kermit N. Paddack and his work, check out the links to his websites:

http://www.tigerbasketballbook.com
https://www.facebook.com/Tigerbasketballalebanonpassion
https://www.facebook.com/SHSfootballhistoryandtradition

Featuring Local Author Molly Daniels

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     Molly Daniels is one of the talented local romance authors who will be appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show. The show runs from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th, at the Indiana State Fairgrounds.
     Molly will be signing books on Thursday, November 6th from 3:00 PM – 8:00 PM.
     She resides in the Midwest with her husband, three children, and various household pets. Her fifth-grade teacher showed this avid reader how to write the stories swirling in her head, successfully unleashing her imagination upon the written word.

Love Weighs In Molly

     Kenzie Michaels is the ‘wild child’ of author Molly Daniels. They cohabitate nicely inside the brain of a woman in Indiana who’s the mother of three and ‘Aunt Molly’ to the entire neighborhood.

     A devout chocoholic, her hubby has learned to watch out when the characters in her head take over and not get too upset when the words are flowing and all concept of time is lost.HeartsLastChance_Draft2

You can learn more about Molly Daniels, her alter ego, Kenzie Michaels, and her books by checking out her Websites:

http://www.mollydaniels.wordpress.com
http://www.mjdaniels.blogspot.com
http://kenziemichaels.blogspot.com

Featuring M. Katherine Clark, Local Author

katherine

     M. Katherine Clark is one of the local authors appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. The show runs from Wednesday, November 5th through Sunday, November 9th.
     She was born in Indianapolis, Indiana in 1990. She has been writing for nearly 15 years. Mysteries have always been near and dear to her heart, but recently she has been working on a suspenseful, paranormal romance series set in the Scottish highlands in 650 AD.

     I am excited to report that she released, Soundless Silence, A Sherlock Holmes novel, on Amazon Kindle this week. Here is the link to her brand new novel: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00OUD6G74/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1414265345&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40soundless silence

     Her first novel, Blood is Thicker Than Water, has an interesting mix of romance, mystery and danger.
blood is thicker than water

     She currently writes full-time and resides on the northside of Indianapolis. She is a graduate of Butler University and is very involved in her local community theater.

     You can read more about M. Katherine Clark and her novels on her website and Facebook Author Page.

     http://mkatherineclark.tateauthor.com/
     http://www.facebook.com/mkatherineclark

Shining the Spotlight on Ruth Ann Hanley

hanleyra

     Today’s featured author is Ruth Ann Hanley. She and her Cockapoo, Pepper, will be appearing at this year’s 65th Annual Christmas Gift & Hobby Show at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. She will be signing books on Friday, November 7th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM, and Saturday, November 8th, from 3:30 PM – 9:00 PM.

     Ruth has lived in Indiana most of her adult life with no intention of leaving. She is an animal lover, photo-journalist, writer (fiction and non-fiction in local and national publications) and retired attorney.

No pulling back

     No Pulling Back is Ruth’s first novel, and much research went into understanding her dog protagonist. She invites readers to enter the mind-set of this huge, muscular and intelligent beast from the first century. Please share his brave journey from the applause of the bloodthirsty crowd in the Roman amphitheater to the joy of unflinching love. Can we learn from a dog how to love completely and unreservedly? Read and see.

     If you are an animal lover, you will love her story showing the healing touch of a chocolate lab. To read that story and to learn more about Ruth Ann Hanley and her work, check out her website: http://www.hanleyra.com

Author Faire – Saturday, September 27, 2014

Noblesville Author Faire 2014The Hamilton East Public Library is pleased to sponsor a Local Author Faire on September 27, 2014 from 1 – 4 PM; published authors from throughout Hamilton County will display, sell and sign their books while meeting with fans. Various short readings will be followed by a panel discussion on the challenges of becoming a published author. Signed books and related items will be raffled. Light refreshments will be provided.

I will be kicking off the Readings portion of the event at 1:30 P.M. So, come out and join us!

 

It Finally Happened!

     It finally happened! About two weeks ago, I received the most unbelievable message on Match.com. It was short and to the point. I read it twice before it sank in. I just could not believe my eyes. But there it was staring me in the face. It read, “0 Matches Found.”
     Yes, I accomplished the seemingly impossible feat. I exhausted all of my possible matches on Match.com. Even with my extended search range of 100 miles and age range of 35 to 55, there were no matches. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
     I hear you saying, “Well, you’re being too picky.”
     No, I’m not. I’m giving a 20-year age range within 100 miles. All hair and eye colors, all body types, except obese, all religions, and a college degree.
     It appears my primary problem is that almost everybody in this state has indoor pets. Over half of my supposed matches were eliminated due to a pet situation.
     Granted, some guys say they will get rid of their pets. But I still couldn’t go into their houses. They would have to rip out the carpets, replace their furniture, clean the house’s ductwork, etc. So, let’s face it, not many men would go through that or have the financial means to do so.

     Not to be deterred, I thought I should try another dating site. So, I signed up for Christian Mingle. Their questions were quite different than those found on Match.

     Would you engage in premarital sex?
     Is my mom running this site?
     Do you believe that the only reason to engage in sexual relations is for procreation?
     Um, no.
     How often ideally would you want to have sexual relations? The answers ranged from “every day” to “never.”
     I plead the Fifth on my answer to this question.
     I am sensing an anti-sex theme here. Seriously? Never? If you want to remain eternally celibate, you should look into becoming a Catholic nun or a priest. They need new recruits.
     Moving on…I particularly loved the questions that revolved around my children, especially since I don’t have any. There was no way to bypass the questions. So, I had to base my answers on the imaginary children that I don’t have and never will have.
     Other questions asked about the woman’s role in the home. Those questions pissed me off. It upset me to think that there are women who are acting subservient to men. That’s an entire blog post in and of itself.
     I found one useful question: How is your timeliness?
     I am always early. If you are habitually late, then you will be literally and figuratively wasting my time. Do us both a favor, do not waste my time.
     There were so many absurd questions, I wish I could share them all. But one of my favorites was: How do you feel about wearing fashionable clothes?
     Oh, just throw a burlap sack over my head, and I’ll tie it around my waist with some twine, thank you. Itchy is all the rage this season!
     The more questions I answered, the more I felt I was falling down a rabbit hole, and I was positive I would end up in Wonderland. Remember, Wonderland was royally screwed up.
     After suffering through the questions and filling out the profile, their system told me I had zero matches. I laughed out loud. No kidding. So, I went to the search feature and altered some criteria. Ten guys popped up. I recognized six of the guys from Match. The others had no pictures. I do not communicate with guys who do not post pictures.
     After five days on this site, I wanted to shoot myself. I did searches to cover anyone breathing and with a pulse within 100 miles. There wasn’t anyone remotely close to what I was looking for in a partner. The majority of profiles had no pictures, and the men lived in rural areas and very few had graduated from college.
     The system sent me profiles to view. Most of the men lived in Illinois or Ohio. Sheesh.
     I was done. So, I called to cancel. The best the girl could do was downgrade my account to one month instead of the original six. Wonderful.
     Obviously, some people have found that site successful. I am happy for them. Sorry to say that I was not one of them. Based on my experience, I would never recommend Christian Mingle.

     Since that went so poorly, I joined eHarmony. So far, that site is a dud too. I had no matches again. But this site will not let you search for people. Their computer does the work and sends you matches.
     Really, there is no way to search. Instead, you keep answering questions. I answered 290 questions. Yes, I answered that many. I’m just sitting on my couch watching television on a Saturday night, so why not?
     I got messages saying, “So-and-so is just outside of your parameters.”
     The majority of men were from other states. Not neighboring states like Illinois or Ohio, but states such as Texas, New Jersey, Florida and California.
     The ones that really astonished me were incompatible based on our answers. If we answered 67% of the questions differently, we are not a match. But those were the profiles the computer kept sending me.
     This service was the most expensive. And this was pissing me off. So, I wrote their Customer Service people a nasty-gram.

     “You only send me ‘matches’ who are outside of my parameters. What is the point of answering all of the questions if you ignore them when matching people? I’m getting ‘matches’ when over 50% of our answers differ. Those aren’t matches.
     And I am not interested in anyone who lives out of state. You repeatedly send me guys who live all over the country. How can I get you to stop sending me people who live out of state? It’s ridiculous. I’m not looking for a pen pal. I’m looking for a mate.
     So far, this service has been a waste of time and money. What are you going to do to make this a better experience for me?”
     And I waited. I am not sure what type of response I was expecting. I just wanted to notify them that their computer algorithms sucked, and I was not happy. Less than twelve hours later, I received a response.
     “Our goal is to find matches for you that are compatible with your unique personality in deep and important ways. We do this by using the results of your relationship questionnaire to screen for individuals based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility.
     We understand that you won’t feel a connection with all of your matches. Although we put a lot of emphasis here in the early stages of being matched with someone, establishing chemistry only accounts for a portion of what makes a relationship last and is only something you can determine once you get to know someone. We caution you from trying to make such an early assessment from just the match detail information.
     Please be assured that you will no longer receive matches outside your distance setting.”

     I wish I had a pair of hip waders to trudge through that pile of BS.

     Just when I thought all hope was lost, I received an email from Match. Apparently, since all of the kids in Indiana have gone back to school in the last two weeks, there has been a considerable influx on the number of new Match members.
     So, for now, I’m back to the bachelors on Match. Gentle readers, I know you enjoy these posts, but nothing would make me happier than to have a reason to stop writing them. Wish me luck!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Word Crimes by Weird Al

weird al     Okay, I admit that Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” will get me dancing every time. And this mega-hit inspired Weird Al to create, “Word Crimes.” As soon as I heard this parody, I knew I had to post it. So, here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

     To see some of the other songs on the album, “Mandatory Fun,” click here: http://www.thewire.com/entertainment/2014/07/ranking-weird-als-new-parodies-who-gets-skewered-best/374466/

     Another great parody album. Thanks, Weird Al!

My Listen To Your Mother YouTube Video

     Here’s my YouTube video from Listen To Your Mother! My original title was, “Mom’s Thoughts on Online Dating.”

     Feel free to leave comments on the YouTube site, here on my blog or both!

     You can also view all of my fellow performers’ videos. It was a joy to be part of such a talented cast. Just click on this link. https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5oPQWgVdsDk-vfoa2dAKVEeUtO7KdvDD

     Enjoy!

2014 Writers’ Retreat

Calling all writers!!! Pen It! Magazine is sponsoring a Writers’ Retreat this October at the Columbus Youth Camp in Columbus, Indiana. Register by September 15th to reserve your spot!

The 2014 Writers’ Retreat
October 17th – 19th

Columbus Youth Camp
15454 Youth Camp Road
Columbus, IN 47201

20140627_121121

The Foreign Contingent

     Welcome to another installment of my “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” series! The Match bachelors in this post were all born outside of the United States.
     Indiana’s state motto is “The Crossroads of America.” And apparently, we are creating quite the melting pot in Indianapolis. Diversity is a good thing for “Honest-to-Goodness Indiana.” If you know me, you know I love learning about new cultures and traditions.
     Many of you also know that my ex-husband is Indian. His family is from the Punjab region in India. Yes, we had an Indian wedding.
     Anyway…I was contacted by bachelors from fourteen different countries, including India, Pakistan, Greece, Lebanon, Iran, England, Japan and Canada.
     Somehow, I attracted all of the Indian men within a fifty-mile radius. And 99% of them were doctors. Amazingly enough, they were deep into poetry and spirituality. As a poet, that intrigued me, because, let’s face it, most men are not keen on poetry.
     The conversations were interesting, enlightening and intellectual. One of the guys was even Punjabi. He was thrilled beyond belief that I knew what that meant. However, there was an element lacking with each and every one—chemistry.
     So let’s move on to merry old England. The phone conversation with the English guy was so awful it was like pulling teeth. I started fantasizing about my own version of My Fair Lady. I would be a kind professor teaching this brute of a man how to become a real gentleman.
     The Iranian, a self-advertised non-smoker, had a smoker’s cough so bad, I thought he’d cough up a lung during our phone conversation. I felt compelled to lecture him on the dangers of smoking. But that would have required me to listen to him cough longer. Ugh.
     The Pakistani bachelor’s profile pictures portrayed a tall, dark and handsome man. He seemed nice on the phone, but I couldn’t understand him most of the time. He sent me pictures of flowers. He said it was his way of giving me flowers. Sweet. But I did not grant him a live date. I knew I would have spent the entire night asking him to repeat himself. That wouldn’t have been enjoyable for either of us.
     The Greek candidate passed the phone interview. In person, he was gorgeous. Perfect olive complexion, thick black curly hair and a smile that almost knocked me over. He walked with confidence and had a magnificent personality. But alas, he wanted babies. Lots and lots of babies.
     Why does God hate me?!? Why???
     Then there was the bachelor from Japan. His introductory email read: “Hello! Have you traveled to Japan? What kind of cooking do you like? Do you like sushi?”
     My mind answered quickly, “No, I haven’t. The kind of cooking someone else does. Sushi? Way to stereotype yourself.” Sheesh.
     His height was listed as 5’1”. I’m almost 5’7”. And I don’t wear flats. Even my flip flops are wedges. Talk about an odd couple. With my lowest heels being two inches, we would be eight inches different in height. He would look like my child, not my date. That’s all sorts of wrong.
     The Lebanese bachelor was great on the phone. In person, he literally looked like Andre the Giant. Albeit, he was a bit shorter at 6’6”. He was boorish and drank like a fish. I stopped counting after six mixed drinks in less than an hour and a half. I would have left sooner, but it took forever to get the food. Hey, a girl has to eat. The redeeming feature of the night was that the food was good.
     The French Canadian guy took the cake. Period. Hands down winner.
      “I would love to get to know you more better and see how it goes between us, I am mixed race, Dad Canada, Mum America. I lived in Canada all my life.”
     I laughed as I read it. But based on the rest of the email, I knew he was serious about the “mixed race” part. After the initial email exchange, he revealed that he was working in Africa. He would require me to move to Canada as soon as possible to help raise his young son.
     Move to Canada? To raise his son while he’s in Africa? Um, no!
      “I’m sorry, but long distance relationships don’t work for me. I wish you luck finding a match.”
     I figured that would be the end of that. Au contraire, mes amis.
      “I quite understand how you mean but I seriously do not see distance as a barrier in a relationship in as much as true love and affection till the end of time.”
      “I’m sorry, no.”
      “I believe things happen for a reason, a connection happens when the right person comes.”
      “I’m sorry. I will not move to Canada. I am not the right person for you.”
      “Just thought it would be a nice idea to know some things about each other, it will be my pleasure to get to know more about you and answer the following love questions.”
     There were thirty-eight “love questions” that followed. Thirty-eight! There were basic questions, such as, “What do you seek in a relationship?” But there were slightly ambiguous questions, such as, “Do you like public intimacy?”
     I wasn’t sure if he was asking about public displays of affection or if I liked having sex in public places.
     The very last question on his “love questions” list was, “Would you hit your man for any reason?”
     I wanted to answer, “Yes, if he repeatedly ignored every word I said and sent me a list of thirty-eight ‘love questions’ to answer even though I’m clearly not interested. In that case, I might have to smack him upside the head.”
     Instead, my reply to his “love questions” email was simple. “Non. Non, merci. Bonne chance à vous.”
     And that was finally the end of that. Maybe he just didn’t understand “no” in English.

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

My Review of The Book of Mormon

     I was thrilled to have a ticket for opening night of The Book of Mormon in Indianapolis. I had been looking forward to seeing this show for ages.
     When I told some friends I was seeing The Book of Mormon, they said they love going to the pageant every year.
      “Um, I’m not going to the Hill Cumorah Pageant. I’m going to The Book of Mormon. There’s an enormous difference.”
     The pageant is a wholesome family-friendly event, rated “G.” The Broadway show, which won nine (9) Tony Awards, gets a big, bold flashing neon “R” rating.
     For those unfamiliar with the Hill Cumorah Pageant, every year, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints puts on a grand show about their origin, near Palmyra, New York. I am including the link to the pageant, in case you are curious. Although I have never been, I have heard it is quite the spectacle and fun for the whole family. http://www.hillcumorah.org/Pageant/
     The Book of Mormon, on the other hand, is a religious satire musical about two Mormon missionaries sent to Uganda. Here is a link to the opening number that was performed on network television at the 2012 Tony Awards. I love the interaction with other stars, you will too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy5K8ApSzhI
     The Book of Mormon was written by the South Park guys, not the South Pacific guys. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are not Rodgers and Hammerstein. Although the latter might be impressed with the former’s orchestral score, they might have been appalled with the profanity peppered throughout the lyrics.
     I was not appalled. I was amused and entertained. I know…I hear gasping from all directions. I can feel prayers being offered up to save my soul. Sorry gentle readers, but I go to the theater to be entertained. I knew what the show was about before I bought my ticket. So, I was prepared.
     As I flipped through the Playbill, I noticed that the Mormons had bought three pages of advertising space. I thought that was awesome. They were not protesting or picketing, they bought advertising, which in turn supported the show. Obviously, they can take a joke. So, we should be able to as well.
     The Murat Theatre was jam-packed. I am guessing that the show was sold out. Unfortunately, the air conditioning was not working. So we were dying of heat. But the show went on!
     The performances by the cast members were stellar. Very high energy. You could tell they loved what they were doing. You saw it in their facial expressions. You heard it in the notes they sang. You felt it in the steps they danced. This troupe was having a blast. From what I observed, most of the audience members enjoyed it as much as I did.
     The satire and social commentary were sharp and in your face. Did some of it go too far? Yes. Could they have cut out all of the swearing? Most definitely. But then it would not have had the same impact.
     Parker and Stone are smart and witty creative geniuses. They are not about decency and decorum. They are about shock and awe. All of their works are over-the-top by design. They get people talking about controversial social issues. And that is the point. They are forcing a dialogue. In that, they have succeeded. Not to mention, they have made millions of dollars in the process. Good for them.
     If I still went to confession every week, this week’s session would start like this, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I loved The Book of Mormon and would definitely see it again.”
     The priest might give me five Our Fathers, ten Hail Marys and a Glory Be as my penance. But it would be worth it!
     Yes, I highly recommend this show, but only to people who are not easily offended. This show is not for ultra-conservative, deeply devout and/or religious people. The material is blasphemous and sacrilegious. If you will be making the sign of the cross or searching for your rosary beads when the “F” word and “God” are uttered in the same sentence, then do not go. I repeat, do not go.
     There might have been more “F” bombs dropped during this show than on any Sopranos episode, and I believe it rivaled the total in most Quentin Tarantino films.
     A dismayed friend could not understand how I enjoyed this performance. It was a clever artistic piece of work. Just because I appreciate a performance does not mean that I am going to stop believing in God or that I am going to run around swearing up a storm.
     I am Catholic, and I pray at least one rosary every day. But I can still laugh when something is smart and funny. And I never say the “F” word, let alone the “F” word and “God” in the same sentence. So, I think I’m good. But just in case, I’ll do my self-imposed penance anyway!

     For more information on The Book of Mormon, here’s the official link: http://bookofmormonbroadway.com/

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Happy Father’s Day!

     What can I say about my dad? He is the most hardworking, loving and intelligent man I know. He would do anything in the world for me, my brother and my mom. He is a good man. Plain and simple. Of course, there are times when he drives us all nuts, but that’s part of his quintessential charm.
     Dad is the life of every party. When his blue eyes twinkle, God only knows what he’s thinking or what’s coming next. He is definitely not the most politically correct person you will ever meet, but he is one of the most entertaining. The songs he wrote for his coworkers’ retirement parties were legendary. He even had backup singers. And those backup singers accompanied me during the retirement song I wrote and performed for him.
     People who meet my mother for the first time usually start the conversation with, “We always wondered who could put up with him. Is he like that all the time?”
     She answers, “Yes, he is. We’ve been together for over fifty years. And I haven’t killed him yet.”
     However, there were times when we wondered if he was trying to kill us. His vacations were death-defying adventures. Seriously. If we didn’t come close to getting maimed or killed, it wasn’t a good vacation. He got several ideas from those nice people in National Geographic. That should paint you a better picture right there.
     Imagine if you will a 9-year-old and a 12-year-old and their parents, wearing regular sneakers, carrying no food or water, clinging to chains driven into the side of a cliff with railroad spikes, navigating narrow ledges to reach Havasu Falls at the bottom of The Grand Canyon. Oh, I forgot to mention that we also had heavy camera equipment around our necks. That crazy family was us. We have the pictures and video to prove it.
     Growing up, Dad was the cool dad. He rigged up a car stereo and 6×9 speakers in the garage, so we could listen to music outside. He would play oldies or rock, sometimes country. This was while the neighbor across the street was broadcasting Willie Nelson, or the soundtrack from Evita or the soundtrack from Les Mis.
     Don’t get me wrong, I love Evita and Les Mis now, but listening to those soundtracks as a child was depressing. So, thank God, Dad’s system was louder. To this day, he still cranks it up loud. Of course now that might be because his hearing isn’t what it used to be.
     When he would bring home a new car, the neighborhood boys would come over to “oooh” and “aaah” over it. They’d ask tons of questions that he was more than happy to answer. Then he’d spend the next two hours washing it.
     I think I volunteered him to be the DJ for my 8th grade ’50s/’60s sock hop. He lugged his record player, a slew of records, stereo system and speakers to the school. Everybody, including the teachers, had a blast. He even came up with a trivia game and handed out prizes.
     In high school, he took me to all of the Father/Daughter Dinner Dances. We danced energetically to the fast songs. And we serenaded each other as we danced to the slow songs. We were quite the pair!
     He was proud when I followed in his footsteps and went to GMI Engineering & Management Institute. (It was General Motors Institute when he went there.) I was mortified when I had to explain my Dad’s nickname for me to my college roommate. She answered the phone, and he thought it was me and greeted her, “Hi, Poozlet!”
     Yeah, don’t ask.
     On my wedding day, we were alone in the bride’s room waiting to walk down the aisle. I was nervous, and he was making jokes trying to calm my nerves. But then he got serious for a moment. He said, “I’m assuming your mother had the talk with you.”
     Oh dear God. Did he really just say that? I’m going to die now. Of embarrassment or something. I laughed. Mom and I had the talk when I was ten years old.
      “Yeah, Dad. We had the talk.”
      “Okay. Good.”
     I wonder what he would have done if I had said, “No.” I can only imagine!
     Mom and Dad came to stay with me when I had cancer. I remember waking up from surgery. Mom wore her usual cheerful caregiver smile. But Dad had what we now jokingly refer to as “Dad Face.”
     “Dad Face” is the look he gets when he wants to fix whatever is wrong, but is helpless to do so. Because ultimately, it is out of his control. It’s a very concerned, worried, loving look.
     Mom and I learned quickly that we had to assign him some tasks. That way he felt useful and accomplished something.
     When I was going through my divorce, “Dad Face” returned. Heck, for a while, Mom even had “Dad Face.” Actually, almost everyone I knew had “Dad Face.” Hard not to since I was sobbing at the drop of a hat.
     Anyway, now that Dad’s retired, he’s busier than ever. When he’s not out washing his cars or doing yardwork, he’s fishing. He frequently says, “A bad day of fishing is still better than the best day at work.”
     Mr. Catch and Release has said it enough times, we believe him. Plus, he does come back with some really interesting fish stories. However, it still boggles the mind. This is a man who is always in a rush and hates waiting in lines. Yet, he will spend hours, days and sometimes weeks fishing. Sometimes on the shore or in a boat. Most of the time in waders standing chest deep in a stream.
     Fly fishing is his favorite type of fishing. Although he sometimes uses corn. Niblets to be precise. From a can. Apparently, it works. He’s catching a lot of fish with niblets. Who knew? Niblets!
     And when he’s not fishing, he’s planning meals. Breakfast with his brothers, Old Farts luncheons (his words, not mine), and dinners with everyone else my parents know. Their social calendar is booked out for weeks. They are popular people. Well, I guess with him you do get a meal and a comedy act.
     Most of all, my Dad wants me to be happy and feel loved. I consider myself very lucky, blessed, happy and loved because I have him for a Dad. And no matter how old I get, I will always be his little girl.

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother's day 050816

     It seemed appropriate to write about the mothers in my life on Mother’s Day. If you’ve read my dating series, “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched,” you’ve already met my mom. She’s a great woman who only wants the best for me. Today, I would like to introduce my grandmothers—Victorine and Jacqueline. Continue reading

I’m Not Like Other Guys

     This is the 6th installment of my Mis-Matched to Miss Matched series, and it’s dedicated to just one bachelor.
     Bachelor #27 and I shared so many interests, it was unbelievable. Every line I read, I smiled and nodded my head. And no pets! Thank goodness. The computer screen told me that we were a 100% match! Could this be possible? After all I’ve been through already, I hoped, and I prayed.
     I’m not revealing his age or profession for reasons that will become clear as you read on.
     After a few email exchanges, we spoke on the phone. His voice was velvety smooth, an easy listening radio voice for sure. That first phone conversation lasted two hours. It felt like mere minutes. We chatted like old friends who were catching up after not speaking for a few months.
     We met for dinner shortly thereafter. Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome displayed impeccable manners and was very complimentary to me.
     We had similar hobbies and the exact same taste in music. He was also a muscle car guy. A GM muscle car guy. Thank God he wasn’t a Ford or Chrysler guy. (No offense to Ford or Chrysler guys, but I know GM cars. I don’t know squat about the others.)
     Several dinners followed. We enjoyed each other’s company tremendously.
     Then one evening, he said, “We need to talk.”
     Oh crap. Nothing good ever follows those words. I braced myself.
     “There’s something I need to tell you.”
     Maybe his ex’s name is tattooed on him somewhere. Or he’s a convicted felon. A serial killer. Bodies buried in the backyard. I could be next. Mom was right! Or he’s married. Or an illegal alien. Or he works for the Mob. Or worse, he liked “50 Shades of Grey.”
     “I’ve wanted to tell you for some time now.”
     “Okay. I’m listening.”
     “I’m not like other guys.”
     At that moment, I flashed back to the beginning of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video. Those were the words Michael said to his date before he turned into the werewolf. Oh crap.
     “I like ************censored*************.”
     Huh? I was speechless. Utterly. Totally. Speechless. For the first time in my life, I had no words. None.
     This man who I thought could be, “The One,” just confessed his fetish to me. Picture me sitting there stunned. Really stunned. Deer in the headlights stunned.
     Hopefully my mouth wasn’t hanging open. I don’t remember. But it’s fully in the realm of possibility.
     My mind tried to process the words he had spoken. So many questions raced through my mind.
     “Say something.”
     Here is the unfortunate question that popped out: “Does this mean you play for both teams?”
     Disappointed, he answered, “No. I’m straight.”
     “Okay.” Meaning, okay, I heard you. But I still didn’t know what to think.
     I don’t have a problem with this fetish, in general. It’s not illegal or immoral. And I consider myself an open and accepting person. I don’t judge people’s actions when consenting adults are involved.
     “Think about it.”
     There was no doubt in my mind that’s all I would be thinking about in the near future. The question remained, “Could I live with it?”
     I thought long and hard about it for a couple of days. I researched it on the internet. There were psychological explanations and justifications. All agreed it was a harmless practice. Apparently, it is more common than any of us would ever have imagined.
     I finally made my decision. I couldn’t live with it.
     I wanted to, because he seemed like a great guy, otherwise. We had so much in common. He treated me beautifully. Everything had been falling into place.
     But I couldn’t live with this one thing. It was too big. And he wasn’t willing to give it up.
     So, that was the end of that.
     When I told my mother I broke up with him, she couldn’t believe it. “What was wrong with this one? You said he was perfect.”
     “He had a fetish.”
     “Oh my God! Oh my God! Don’t tell me!”
     “But…”
     “No, don’t tell me! I don’t want to know what it is.”
     “It’s not horrible. I just couldn’t live with it. It’s not like he murders people or anything.”
     “No! Don’t say it! I don’t want to have nightmares!”
     “But…”
     “No! Don’t tell me!”
     So that, my friends, is why the fetish is censored. I do not want to be responsible for giving my mother nightmares. Since she loses so much sleep worrying about me to begin with, when she does fall asleep, I don’t want it to be nightmares about this particular fetish.
     I don’t want anyone he knows to find out either. It’s not like he broadcasts this to his family, friends and co-workers. He was a nice guy. It just didn’t work out.
     I think I’m going to watch the Thriller video now. Michael Jackson and Vincent Price—now there’s a perfect combination! Here’s a link to it, just in case you want to see it too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOnqjkJTMaA
     Stay tuned for the next chapter, “The Foreign Contingent.”

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Saddle Up!

     I try to read my friends’ blogs as much as I can. And I have to admit I was quite surprised by one friend’s blog. “Why?” you ask. Because Michael wrote about me. It caught me completely off-guard. As I read it, I laughed, I blushed, and at times, I wanted to cry. Thank you, Michael!

     I received many emails and messages from guys wishing they were cowboys, based on my last “Mis-Matched to Miss Matched” episode. Several were laugh out loud funny. One guy wanted to take me line dancing and then saddle up and ride off into the sunset with me. Another wanted to be Roy Rogers to my Dale Evans. One even wanted to demonstrate his rope tricks. Um, yikes! No!

     Most mentioned riding off on horses. Apparently, they missed the part where I’m allergic to animals. I have two words – reading comprehension. Sheesh.

     Michael’s piece was by far the best thing I read regarding this subject. So, I am posting the link to it. It really is a must-read. Not because it’s about me, because it’s really, really good.

Here’s the link to “Dang!” http://moejoemojo.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/dang/

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

A Homecoming To Remember

     Recently, I was invited to speak at Career Day at my high school. I accepted the invitation immediately. The years I spent at Our Lady of Mercy High School were the best years of my life. So, I was more than happy to return and attempt to inspire today’s juniors and seniors.
     It was a fantastic experience, and a good time was had by all. I had the opportunity to reconnect with classmates and teachers and made a few new friends along the way. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
     So, riding this “I Made a Difference” high, I jumped into my vehicle and headed back to “Honest to Goodness Indiana.” For those of you who haven’t heard, that’s the new tourism slogan for Indiana. Many residents thought it was a joke. Nope. The joke’s on Indiana. Seems to me, there should be a verb somewhere. You know, calling people to action. But what do I know? Anyway…
     After driving ten hours from Western New York to Central Indiana, I arrived home exhausted. Unloading the vehicle took another twenty minutes, partially thanks to my parents. When they heard I was having a garage sale, I ended up with several overflowing bags of unwanted stuff.
     I managed to heave my suitcase up the stairs. And that’s when I heard the noises. Scratching sounds. Weird echoing noises. Super sleuth that I am, I ended up in the laundry room. Thrashing sounds emanated from the dryer. Oh dear Lord. It’s 8:30 P.M., and there’s something in my dryer.
     The sounds were unnerving. Picture me standing there, hand over my mouth, staring at the dryer. That’s when I did a bad thing. I actually turned on the dryer. There was no way I was opening the dryer.
     Turning the dryer on made things worse. Whatever it was, I succeeded in pissing it off. Royally. I turned the dryer off. I didn’t want to burn it to death. That would have been nasty to clean up. Yuck. The noises got louder. I couldn’t take it and ran down the stairs.
     Okay, I might have been overreacting and freaking out a bit. I admit it. What to do? I called a nearby friend. I got absolutely no assistance whatsoever, not even a suggestion on who to call. Wonderful.
     That’s when I called in the cavalry—two former military guys who I’ll call Christopher and Dan, because those are their names. ETA – 45 mikes. For you non-military people, that means 45 minutes.
     In the meantime, Mom called me from Texas. You’ve got to love her timing. She’s visiting her best friend for two weeks. As I’m telling her about the creature, she laughs, remembering her own rodent/dryer story. Glad I was able to amuse her.
     Then I heard water running. Not the sound you hear when a toilet is leveling itself out. It was lots of water. Outside water.
     I opened the front door and looked out. Mind you, it’s 9:00 P.M. and dark. The yard light was out. (Mental note to replace the bulb.) I saw cars parked on the side of my yard. I heard voices. I put on my shoes and shut the door behind me.
     Mom yelled, “Don’t go out there! You don’t know who they are. They could be crazy people!”
     At this point, I didn’t really freaking care. I was tired. I was already dealing with a home invasion. And now, somebody was using my water.
     I ignored Mom and marched across the lawn. I shouted, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
     I startled the two teenage boys. “Um, we needed to wash off our cars. We drove in something smelly. We’re sorry. We didn’t think anyone was home.”
     Note they weren’t sorry for using my water. They were sorry they got caught.
     “Water costs money. Stop right now!”
     The one kid turned off the water and made a half-assed attempt to coil up the hose. Then they took off running to their cars and drove away.
     These boys had balls. The hose wasn’t even hooked up to the spigot. So, they dragged the hose to the spigot, hooked it up and used it. I wondered if they had been doing this the entire time I was gone.
     Anyway, I calmed Mom down just before the cavalry arrived. I hung up with her when they pulled in. She figured I was safe with the guys there, just in case those kids came back.
     Trust me, those kids aren’t coming back. I instilled the fear of God in them with my tone of voice. And they weren’t belligerent, they ran. They’re not coming back.
     I told the guys about the stupid kids. That’s when the interrogation began. What did the kids look like? How old were they? How tall? What color, make and models were the cars? Etc.
     Did I mention that it was dark and there were no lights? Both kids were shirtless, had dark hair, no clue on eye color, about 16 or 17 years old, my height. Black cars, newer, good condition, no clue on make or model, too far away to see in the dark. And no, I didn’t get the license plate numbers. I just wanted them gone. Sorry. I was a lousy witness.
     Time to get back to the original challenge. Christopher and Dan did not disappoint. They came armed with thick gloves, black garbage bags and a hunting knife that would have made Dexter Morgan proud. (For those of you unfamiliar with cable television’s Dexter, he’s a serial killer who murders other killers. He employs an impressive array of cutlery to get the job done.)
     They mounted the stairs. I stayed in the foyer. If whatever it was got past them, I wasn’t going to be in its path.
     The mission didn’t take long. The mystery invader fled the scene of the crime before they arrived. They did recover a bird’s nest from inside my dryer vent hose. They cleared it out and reconnected it. Since it was so late, they couldn’t replace the missing piece. So, they’d be back the next day to finish the job. I thanked them, and they were on their way. I turned the dryer on so the stupid bird wouldn’t come back that night.
     Bright and early the next morning, the unwanted bird returned. It was attempting to rebuild. I turned the dryer back on. A temporary, but effective, solution.
     The guys returned with the replacement parts later in the day. Of course, the ladder I had in the garage wasn’t tall enough to reach the second story. Time for Plan B. So, they removed the laundry room window and screen.
     Dan climbed out and balanced precariously on the narrow roof line to remove the old assembly and install the new one. And with the help of some duct tape, courtesy of Christopher, they achieved success! Great teamwork!
     Christopher then walked the perimeter of the house to inspect for any other suspicious damage or issues. He did find some and fixed every single one of them. I can not thank Christopher or Dan enough for helping me out in my time of need. Thank you, guys!

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Doctors and Chemists and a Cowboy, Oh My!

     Welcome to the 5th installment of Mis-Matched to Miss Matched. I’m sure you’re wondering if I met a doctor who made house calls, or if I developed an organic relationship with a chemist, or if the cowboy was a stripper or an actual cowboy. There’s only one way to answer your questions. Read on!

     Perhaps it was time to have a doctor in the family. Bachelor #21 was a 45-year-old anesthesiologist. We agreed to meet for coffee. He was handsome and dressed like a professional golfer. But he showed up late. And he didn’t bother to text or call to let me know. A lady does not like to be kept waiting. Strike one.
     He asked me what I wanted to drink and got in line to order. When he returned, he had more than drinks. He purchased brunch. For himself. He didn’t offer me any food. He sat there eating in front of me. Strike two.
     The conversation wasn’t very stimulating. I actually think he could save hospitals money on anesthesia and sedatives by just talking to patients. Boring with a capital “B.”
     He asked how long I’d been divorced. I told him several months. I bounced the question back to him. He responded he wasn’t divorced. It was going to be too expensive. He was currently weighing his options.
     Well, I eliminated one option—me. Strike three. He’s out!

     Bachelor #22 was 50 years old and a surgeon. Another coffee date. However, this one arrived on time, in a black Mercedes. He had a certain air about him as he walked in. As we shook hands, I noticed his bling. Hard to miss it—thick gold chain around his neck, ostentatious rings and a Rolex watch.
     But as the Shania Twain song goes, “That don’t impress me much.” Sorry, but I’m more concerned with what’s inside a man’s head and heart than a flashy outer package. Always makes me wonder what they’re overcompensating for. Anyway…
     I sensed a God complex as soon as he started talking about his grand achievements. Don’t get me wrong, I admire people who accomplish great things. I just didn’t like how he bragged about them. Plus the fact that he wasn’t interested in me. When I told him that I had published a romance novel and a poetry book, I got that look. It’s the “Oh, you’re an artsy, fartsy type” look. I hate that look.
     It didn’t last long. He switched the conversation back to him. He loved to hear himself talk. I admired his perfect manicure as he chattered on.
     Fortunately, he had to get to the office.
     And I never heard from him again. Thank God.

     Fifty-three-year-old Bachelor #23 was a gastroenterologist. Some of my family members were thrilled at the idea of having one of those around. Seriously. My sister-in-law even told me that it didn’t matter what he’s like, I should “take one for the team.”
     Can you feel the love??
     We met for drinks. We had a great deal in common and were never at a loss for words. He was genuinely interesting.
     For those of you who know me, you know I only drink one drink if I will be driving later. One. Count it. One.
     “Have another drink.”
     “No, thank you. I only drink one drink.”
     “Oh, come on. Have another.”
     “No, thank you.” No means no!
     He yelled to the bartender, “Another drink for the lady.”
     I looked at the bartender. “I don’t want another drink. Can I have some water?”
     The doctor insisted, “Give her another drink.”
     “Don’t bother. I won’t drink it.”
     “Well, I ended up with the water and another drink.
     “You haven’t touched your drink.”
     “I told you that I wouldn’t.”
     “What’s the big deal?”
     “It’s not a big deal. But you’re making it one. When I say I’m not going to do something, I mean it.”
     “It’s just one drink.”
     I’m sensing major control issues. “I’m not drinking it.”
     “You should.”
     “No. Thank you for the drink that I did order. It’s time to call it a night.”
     He continued to contact me afterward. I told him to move on.
     Anyone who is that obsessed over getting me to drink something that I clearly don’t want has serious control issues. I can not even imagine what he would be like concerning important things. Yikes!

     I met Bachelor #24, an R&D Chemist, for dinner. The 50-year-old was interesting…on paper. In person, I felt like I was conducting an audit. If you’ve never been prepped for an audit, Rule #1 is: Stick to the facts. Rule #2 is: Do not elaborate.
     It was like pulling teeth. Some answers were one word. Others came in sentence form. Short sentences. I ended up talking most of the time because he wouldn’t.
     At least the food was really good. And I even had leftovers for the next night. So, it wasn’t a total loss.

     I gave another chemist a try. Number 25 picked the same restaurant as the last one. Wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Nevertheless, I knew the food would be good. So, I met the 42-year-old for dinner.
     This guy didn’t have any problems talking. He never shut up. But it was all negative stuff about his ex-wife. The language he used was downright ugly. It was offensive to me as a woman. Granted, she might have been exactly as he described her. But I did not want to hear it. I’m certain the couple behind him didn’t want to hear it. The woman kept giving me looks. She even followed me into the bathroom.
     “That guy you’re with is a jackass.”
     “Agreed. It’s a first date.”
     “Hopefully your last too.”
     “Yes. As soon as the check is paid, I’m out of here.”
     “I’d leave now if I were you. Slip out the back door.”
     I laughed. “My sweater is on my chair.”
     “I’d forget the sweater. Leave now.”
     “It’s a really nice sweater. It took me forever to find it.”
     “Suit yourself.”
     Luckily, he paid the check while I was powdering my nose. I invented a friend emergency and made a quick exit.

     Gather around the campfire for Bachelor #26. I don’t know what it is about cowboys that intrigues us women. Maybe it’s the rugged look about them. Or the fact that they seem to be able to handle any problem that arises better than MacGyver. Or perhaps it’s that they have manners and tip their hats. Or maybe it’s just the tight jeans…
     Although this 50-year-old bachelor had a real job during the day, his passion was his ranch. Our phone conversation was so exhilarating; I violated my “no pets” rule. The tone of his voice was incredible. I had to meet the man on the other end of the phone. Despite the fact that he had dogs and horses.
     Ladies, he did not disappoint. This rugged, clean-shaven hunk of a man wore a black fitted cowboy shirt to highlight his toned upper half. His jeans were broken in in all the right places. And his boots were polished nicely.
     Big & Rich’s song, “Save A Horse [Ride A Cowboy],” played in my head. Goodness! Is it hot in here or just me?
     He was absolutely fascinating. The hours flew by. We were the last people in the restaurant. The waiter vacuumed around us. We took that as our cue to leave. It was a delightful evening.
     As a gentleman should, he walked me to my car. He leaned in, gave me a quick hug and kiss, and he was on his way.
     As I watched him walk to his car, my throat started closing up. I grabbed two Benadryl and my emergency meds out of my purse and swallowed them all quickly. I drove toward home (and the hospital), Epi-pen in hand. Just in case.
     The coughing and wheezing subsided after about thirty minutes. At least I didn’t have to use the Epi-pen, and I didn’t end up in the ER.
     It also meant that no matter how fantastic he was, or how well we got along, or how good he looked in those jeans, there was no chance of a relationship with this man.
     I told him the news. He said that he regretted not kissing me deeply. Dear Lord, if he had, I have no doubt that I would have ended up in the hospital. Although, that would have made one heck of a story.

     Stay tuned for the next crazy episode, “I’m Not Like Other Guys.”

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal

Cast Spotlight: Judy Miller

Spotlight-PHOTO-for-Jude_1483-300x180Today’s spotlight is shining on Judy Miller, one of our fearless leaders! And it just so happens to be her birthday. So, Happy Birthday, Judy!

You are going to love Judy’s piece. I didn’t expect it to impact me as deeply as it did. You must hear it for yourself. Here is a link to her interview.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/23/cast-spotlight-judy-miller-2/

Get your tickets online. If you wait to buy them at the door, you must pay by cash or check.
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Anna Walker

Anna-300x271Today’s second spotlight is shining brightly on Anna Walker! Her story touched me deeply. And I’m sure it will impact you too. She has had more than her share of adversity. How she continues to handle it makes her an inspiration.

To learn more about Anna, check out her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/22/cast-spotlight-anna-walker/

And don’t forget to get your tickets!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Michelle McNally

303380_2856344586711_515674413_nToday’s first spotlight is on Michelle McNally. She is one of our fantastic producers and directors. She lights up a room just by stepping into it.

To learn more about this talented blogger, check out her interview!
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/21/cast-spotlight-michelle-mcnally-2/

If you haven’t bought your tickets yet, today would be a great day to do it. Today, 20% of ticket sales goes to Partners in Housing!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Terri Spilman

Terri-225x300Today’s Listen To Your Mother spotlight is shining brightly on Terri Spilman! As event organizers accurately point out, her story rocks! Hers is yet another story that you do not want to miss.

To learn more about Terri, check out her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/18/cast-spotlight-terri-spilman/

If you still need tickets, buy them as an Easter gift to yourself!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Suzanne Purewal

SuzanneToday, I get to shine the Listen To Your Mother spotlight on myself! My piece is about Mom and me. Some lines are so funny, I can hardly contain my laughter. So, I guarantee you will laugh out loud. I just hope I can keep it together during my performances!

I reveal several things in my interview with event organizers that I have never discussed before. So, if you want to learn more about me, click on this link!
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/17/cast-spotlight-suzanne-purewal/

Buy your tickets today! They’re going fast, and you don’t want to miss out!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Rebecca Hession

Rebecca_Hession_Headshot-280x300Today’s LTYM Cast Spotlight is on Rebecca Hession! I really loved Rebecca’s piece. And her blog is something else.

I guarantee that you want to be in the audience to hear what Rebecca has to say.

Here is her interview with event organizers.
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/16/cast-spotlight-rebecca-hession/

Get your tickets today! They’re going fast!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Marge Summers

Marge_Headshot-200x300What a pleasure it is to cast a spotlight on Marge Summers. Her piece was so hysterical, I couldn’t stop laughing. She had us all in stitches. I can’t wait to hear her piece again. Because who couldn’t use a good laugh?

Here is her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/15/cast-spotlight-marge-summers/

If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, there’s still time!
https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Kim Gummere

Kim-289x300

Today’s Listen To Your Mother spotlight is shining on Kim Gummere! She is a talented writer. I wish I could share the topic of her piece, but that’s against the LTYM rules. So, you will just have to come out to hear it in person!

Here’s the link to Kim’s interview with event organizers.  http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/14/cast-spotlight-kim-gummere/

If you still need tickets, click here. https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Becky Wood

BeckyHeadShot1-199x300I am pleased to introduce my fellow cast member, Becky Wood! I was lucky enough to be paired up with her for our “getting to know you” session. Among other things, we learned that we both love chocolate, and we are allergic to cats. To learn more about Becky, check out her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/09/cast-spotlight-becky-wood/

Get your tickets today! Prices go up from $16 to $20 on April 15th! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Kerry Rossow

Kerry_Headshot-300x300In my opinion, you can never cast enough spotlights. So, today, I’m featuring a second cast member, Kerry Rossow!

Her piece is laugh out loud funny! She is also a NW Indiana Listen To Your Mother alum.

Check out her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/07/cast-spotlight-kerry-rossow/

Get your tickets now! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Kate Gehan

KateGehanHeadshot-300x199Today’s Listen To Your Mother spotlight shines brightly on Kate Gehan. Kate and I share an interesting geographic coincidence. We both grew up in New York and now reside in Indiana. Her piece is wonderful. I can’t wait for all of you to hear it. Here is a link to her interview. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/04/04/cast-spotlight-meet-kate-gehan/

Come join us on Sunday, April 27th for one of our live performances. Get your tickets for $16 now. Prices go up to $20 on April 15th! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Cast Spotlight: Caroline Hoy Myers

Caroline_headshot-300x300

     Today, I am honored to feature Caroline Hoy Myers! She is another fellow LTYM Cast Member.

     I was totally blown away by Caroline’s piece. And I can’t wait for you to hear it as well. Her story touched my heart and my soul. Here is the link to her interview. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/03/31/cast-spotlight-caroline-hoy-myers/

     It seems fitting to feature Caroline today, because today is her birthday! Happy Birthday, Caroline!

     I sincerely hope you join us for an afternoon of wonderful stories and tales about motherhood. Get your tickets now! They’re selling like hotcakes! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

Introducing…Amparo de la Peña!

Amparo_Headshot.jpg-300x254     Amparo de la Peña is the first cast member to be featured for this year’s Listen To Your Mother Indianapolis show! There will be two performances this year. They are on Sunday, April 27th, at 1:00 P.M. and 5:00 P.M., at the Indiana Historical Society.
     Although I can not reveal the subject of Amparo’s piece, I can tell you, I related to it personally. I guarantee many of you will too. I am looking forward to sharing a stage with her.
     Here is her interview with event organizers. http://listentoyourmothershow.com/indianapolis/2014/03/30/cast-spotlight-amparo-de-la-pena/

     Tickets are currently available for both shows for $16. But ticket prices will go up on April 15th to $20, so get your tickets now! https://tickets.indianahistory.org/Info.aspx?EventID=1

March Madness

     March Madness is in full swing here in Indianapolis. We’re almost down to the Final Four. The news reports claim that fans’ madness will bring in approximately $20 million to the city. That’s great financial stimulus. But not one dime of that will come from me. I will watch some of the games. I just won’t pay to do it.
     Warren Buffett and Quicken Loans won’t be paying up either. The $1 billion they offered for a perfect predicted outcome in all of the games in the NCAA Tournament is safe. But wouldn’t it have been something if there were contenders still in it? Oh well, there’s always next year.
     Despite the fact that I have lived in March Madness territory for twenty-one years, I have not developed the intense fever that prevails at this time of year. I’m sorry, fellow Hoosiers, but the sloppy, hot and sweaty basketball look just doesn’t work for me. On the other hand, I could watch football all day. Much better uniforms.
     I blame my primary lack of interest in college sports on my college, which did not have any competitive sport teams. Truth be told, I graduated from an institute—GMI Engineering & Management Institute. When my dad went there, it was called General Motors Institute. Picture a bunch of geeks and nerds studying. A lot. Hey, it is in the heart of Flint, MI. We didn’t have much choice. Walking to your car in the parking garage was a death-defying experience.
     I think there might have been some GMI intermural or interfraternal sport things for the jock/nerd combination guy. I didn’t really pay attention. I was busy studying and trying to figure out which boy to date. It was a predominately male student body. So, us girls had plenty to choose from. But I digress…
     My dad adopted Michigan State as his alternate alma mater. Go Spartans! My brother always roots for the University of Michigan. Go Wolverines! Mom and I aren’t sure if he does that just to annoy my dad, or if he just likes them for some other reason. Whatever the case may be, they both root against Notre Dame and Duke.
     Mom and I will root for Michigan State or the University of Michigan, if we’re watching. On the occasions when they play each other, Mom and I do our best to represent Switzerland.
     When I do watch the games, I root for the underdog. What they lack in alumnae funding, they make up for in heart. I love when the little, often ignored school beats a powerhouse. Those are games I can sink my teeth into. They’re fun and exciting to watch. And the press loves to feed us the heart-wrenching background stories of the players and their struggles. Talk about good reality television.
     Unfortunately, there aren’t any underdogs left. But both Michigan State and the University of Michigan are still in it. So, all I have to say today is: Go Spartans! Go Wolverines!

Copyright © 2014 Suzanne Purewal

The Old Bait and Switch

     This is the 4th installment of Mis-Matched to Miss Matched. You always hear men complain about women who post old pictures of themselves on dating sites. Well, I’m here to tell you, men do it too.
     Although I usually go for the nerdy type, I decided to throw caution to the wind and give Bachelor #15, a professional athlete, a try. He sent me a poem about rose petals and the morning dew before we met. Not bad, but not great. I gave him kudos for the effort and agreed to meet him.
     His profile stated he was 48 years old and a non-smoker. The pictures might have been from when he was 48, but he ended up being 58. And he definitely smoked. Why smokers think they can hide their smoking from non-smokers, I will never know. We know. We always know.
     I asked why he lied about his age.
     “Would you have agreed to meet me if I said I was 58?”
     “Honestly, no.”
     “That’s why I lied.”
     “Well, unfortunately, that makes me wonder what else you’re lying about. You lied about smoking too.”
     “So, you have trust issues?”
     “Only with people who lie to me.”
     “Everybody lies.”
     “No, not everybody does.”
     “You’re kidding yourself. Everybody lies.”
     “I’m talking about important things. There’s a big difference between telling a friend her butt doesn’t look big in her new dress when you’re already at a cocktail party and lying about facts, like your age, if you smoke and if you’re really divorced.”
     “I am divorced.”
     “So, one out of three isn’t bad in your book?”
     He smirked.
     “What if I had done the same to you?”
     He appeared annoyed with my question.
     “Seriously. What if I showed up and was ten years older than I said I was?”
     He muttered, “I’d be pissed.”
     “There you go! So, you don’t like to be lied to either.”
     He tossed back the remainder of his drink. “I’m not getting laid tonight am I?”
     Shaking my head in disbelief, I respond, “Not unless you pick up someone on a corner on your way home.”
     On that note, he got up, threw some cash on the table to cover our drinks and left.
     Strike three. He’s out!

     The next contender was a salesman who advertised his age as 49. He turned out to be 54. The ironic thing was that he looked better in person. A lot better.
     “Why don’t you have a more current picture posted?”
     “I figure if someone likes me heavier and with gray hair, then they’ll like me thinner with darker hair.”
     “So it’s like a test?”
     “Yes.”
     “Interesting.”
     “Interesting good or interesting bad?”
     “The jury’s still out.”
     “You’re funny.”
     I wasn’t trying to be funny. I was trying to figure him out. So, I asked him to tell me about himself.
     Big mistake. He droned on and on about all of the “important people” he knew. He dropped so many names that I tripped over them. But he didn’t have any stories about doing anything with them. Boring with a capital “B.”
     My theory is that he hangs out at St. Elmo’s on big event nights and introduces himself to everyone who walks in the door. That would explain how he “knows” the rich and famous.
     When he wasn’t bragging about the people he knew, he pointed out his designer clothes and how he only wore the very best. He proceeded to rattle off all of his favorite designers and stores.
     Okay, I’ll admit that I watch Project Runway. I’m familiar with high-end designers and fashion. I’ve shopped in the boutiques and stores in New York City, and I own a few nice designer items. But I don’t talk about them, ad nauseam. Sheesh.
     Bachelor #16 never got around to asking me much of anything. So, that was the end of that. The jury’s verdict is in: Guilty of being a boastful, materialistic, narcissistic jerk.

     Bachelor #17 was a 46-year-old entrepreneur who owned multiple residences in several states. We had a great deal in common. At 99%, we were almost a perfect match according to Match.com’s algorithm. He was a thin, handsome man, with a full head of black wavy hair and a smile that could knock you over.
     No coffee or drinks for this guy. He went straight for dinner. A girl has to eat, so I agreed.
     As I entered the restaurant, I searched for the dashing man in the pictures. Imagine my surprise when instead, I was greeted by an 80-pound heavier Mr. Comb-Over. The smile was still there. Thank God for small favors.
     After chatting for a few minutes, he revealed that his pictures were from ten years ago. All I could think about was shaving his head. The comb-over look is wrong on any man. Period.
     Our date went well. He was easy to talk to, and we had no shortage of topics to discuss. At the end of the evening, he insisted on buying my books. So, I signed copies for him, and we agreed on a second date.
     The second date went just as nicely as the first. He gushed over my poetry book. He even started quoting some of my work. How refreshing that a man was taking a genuine interest in me.
     After that date, he started reciting other people’s poetry to me over the phone. Then the texts started. Lots of texts. Late at night. First, it was rambling poetry. Then, it morphed into sexting. Obsessive sexting. I told him to stop. He didn’t. His sexting became more graphic. It gave me the creeps. I told him I was done and not to contact me again.
     He was hurt and didn’t understand why.
     I did not want to upset this creepy, obsessive, stalker kind of guy. So I told him he reminded me of my ex-husband and left it at that.
     He bought my story, hook, line and sinker, and left me alone. Thank you, God!

     Bachelor #18 was a doctor. We were the same age. Match decided we were a 100% match. Imagine my mom’s reaction being something like, “Oh, a doctor! I hope this one works out.”
     The doctor and I chatted on the phone and agreed to meet for coffee. Since I don’t drink coffee, I ordered hot chocolate.
     He was shier than I had anticipated. And he wore a Panama Jack style hat that he never removed. A wee bit eccentric, perhaps. But I’m used to eccentric. The conversation went pretty well, but he had to leave after an hour. We agreed to meet again.
     The next time, it was for a drink. And again, only for exactly one hour. My instincts were telling me something was rotten in Denmark.
     And sure enough, I was right. After some relentless questioning, he admitted he wasn’t divorced. He was meeting with me when he should have been watching his son play soccer.
     Slime ball. “So, you’re a liar, a cheater and a lousy father? What a sad excuse of a man you are. You’re despicable.”
     “And I guess you’re little Miss Perfect?”
     “I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not perfect. But I don’t tolerate cheating, and I don’t date married men.”
     I wished that my glass had been full. I could have made a dramatic exit by throwing the contents in his face and storming out. Alas, there wasn’t a drop remaining. So, I just grabbed my purse and left.

     Bachelor #19’s profile indicated he lived in Indianapolis. We hit it off over the phone. He asked to meet somewhere around South Bend.
     “That’s almost three hours away. We can wait until you’re back in town to get together.”
     “Um. I live in Chicago.”
     “Your profile says you live in Indy.”
     “Yeah, I can’t find anyone nice in Chicago.”
     Really?? “Chicago is a huge city. And it has tons of suburbs. I think you need to try a little harder to find someone in your area.”
     “Nope. I’ve looked. There isn’t anybody.”
     Red flags are popping up everywhere. If this guy can’t find someone in all of Chicago and the surrounding areas, something is seriously wrong with him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t do long distance relationships.”
     “You could move up here. I’ve got a nice place. You could stay with me.”
     Riiiiight. Not on your life, buddy. I watch CSI and Criminal Minds. “I’m not going anywhere. Good luck to you.”

     A 28-year-old salesman was pitiful Bachelor #20. His profile stated he lived in Dayton, OH.
     “I’d like to meet you for coffee sometime.”
     “Sorry, I don’t do long distance relationships.”
     “I live in Castleton, IN.”
     “So, do you work in Dayton?”
     “I work in Indy.”
     “If you live in Castleton and work in Indy, why are you saying you live in Dayton?”
     “I don’t want my coworkers to see me on here.”
     “Why? If they’re on Match too, what’s the big deal?”
     “Idk. I’m embarrassed.” (Idk is “I don’t know” for you non-texting readers.)
     “That makes no sense. There’s no reason to be embarrassed. You need to update your city, or you are never going to find a match.”
     “I’m afraid they’ll make fun of me.”
     Wow, kid. You need to grow a set. “Forget about your coworkers. If they make fun of you, they’re not your friends. Change your city.”
     “I’ll think about it.”
     “You need to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. You need to do something to boost your self-confidence, or you’re going to get eaten alive out there. That pertains to your business and personal relationships. Whatever your story, you need to get your head on straight. It will make a world of difference.”
     “You seem nice and smart. Will you meet me?”
     “No. You’re too young anyway. Change your city, and hang out with positive people.”
     “Thx.”
     “You’re welcome. Best of luck.”

     The more dates and interactions I have, I realize that I should have gone into psychology. These guys need serious help.
     Here’s some free advice for everyone—be honest. It is the best policy.

     Oh well, back to site I go. Stay tuned for the next episode, “Doctors and Chemists and Cowboys, Oh My!”

Copyright © 2014 by Suzanne Purewal